Three Ways In The Morning (A Morning Show Coming Soon) Show Your Support.

I am please to announced that I along with three other wonderful ladies, will be involved with an opportunity starting May 1st.  I will be starting a new show named “Three Ways In The Morning.”  Get you mind out of the gutter if you are thinking something sexual and nasty (just kidding).  The show will include all latest celebrity news, musical guests appearances, interviews, and girl talk women. We seek to be entertaining and to bring social awareness.


Aside from all of this, it is my personal belief that we need to have more positive people and discussion in the media anyhow.  If you read my blog, then you know how I feel about this.  Since this is an independent project, we do need people to back our project with money.  Do not worry I am not going to ask you for hundred and thousands of dollars (unless you want to), I do not like when people do that to me.  Instead, I am going to say if you feel lead to give and support the project then please do so.  No donation is too small.  I hope this is one of the next steps in my journey to spread the way I see the world.  If you want to support please click here to do so.  If you want to know more about the broadcast, then please click here to do so.


If you are new to my site and want to know about me (Click here)

Also go to the right panel of this site and check out some of my top blogs.

Thanks in Advanced,

Sophia Reed

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Stop Living In The Past So You Can Get To your Future.

https://sophie-sticatedmom.com/

How can we ever look toward the future if we are always wanting to go backward?  How many times have you wished you were still with someone, wished you still lived some where, or wished that you could go back in time and change the direction of your life?  I am sure this is something that we all wish sometimes, but the fact of the matter is that we can't.  No matter how much we sit and think about the past, we will never be able to change it.  And it is sometimes us always being focused on our past that is keeping us from our future.

Take the Israelites for example when they left Egypt they had seen more visual miracles than most people.  One would think that seeing these miracles would allow them to trust God unconditionally no matter what.  They  left Egypt with the promise of being lead to a promise land of milk and honey. But once they left Egypt they started to complain.

Some of their complaints were that they did not have the food that they wanted even though God had provided manna (or bread for them to eat) they wanted meat instead.  Then God provided meat for them (quail) and it was too much of it and they complained about that.  They complained about walking, how long the trip was taking, and felt that it was better in Egypt.  Even though they saw God's miracles and even though they knew that God was leading them to a place to milk and honey.  They began to doubt God and wanted to go back to a place in which they were slaves.

It would seem as though they forgot their maltreatment in Egypt, forgot the fact that they were "God's chosen people" and were treated as slaves, and only had selective memory. Remembering the minimal good things and not the many bad things they had to endure there.  And so they rather go back into the past to a place of bondage as oppose to moving forward to their future.

The kicker is that they needed to go through the desert in order to get to the land of milk and honey.  This was a trip that was suppose to take two weeks that ended up taking them 40 years because of their constant complaining, unbelief, and inability to get over the past of where they came from.

How many times do you wish that you had stayed in a relationship knowing very well when you were in that relationship you were miserable?  But now since you are single you prefer any relationship, even though it may be terrible, over being alone.

A job I once had, I used to make a really good amount of money.  In fact I had unlimited earning potential there, but knew God was calling me to leave and go into other things.  Sometimes I find myself complaining, because I wish I still had the ability to make that money.  But God spoke to me.  He reminded me that I was miserable when I was there.  He reminded me that He has a calling better for me in mind.  And even though I do not see it yet, I have to go through the desert (much like the Isrealites) to get into my land of milk and honey.

But like the Israelites it is going to be hard to get to that land if I am always looking back on the past idolizing a situation that was not so great.  I was only looking at the money aspect of it and not the fact that I hated it, the people had a lot of drama, it was highly stressful, and it was not what God was calling me to do.

I am sure that this is a lot of people, and this yearning for a past that you cannot change or go back to is often the same thing that is keeping us from going into your future.  The inability to get over the past can lead us in one or two directions.  It can lead us to miss out on our future all together or delay of a blessing.


If we trust God we have to trust that He sees all and knows all.  We have to trust the direction that He is leading us in is the right direction even though we may not see it or understand it.  Most importantly we have to understand that sometimes we may have to go through the wilderness in order to get to our blessing.  And if we understated and accept all of these things, then we cannot stay in a past that was never intended to be.

If something in your past was meant to be, then it would.  There would be nothing to stop something that was meant to be, that is the basic definition of "meant to be."  But since it isn't, there has to be a reason for that.  Instead of wallowing in it, accept it, and move on.  Trust that God knows what He is doing, and do not allow the inability to get over the past affect your future.

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Learn To Love Your Enemies

Loving your enemies, this sounds like an oxymoron.  Why would you want to love someone that has hated you , persecuted you, done you wrong?  It just does not make sense and it goes against our natural human instinct.  It is easier to hate those who hate you and dish out the same disrespect that they did to you.  But as Christians we are called to do something different.  We are called to mirror the emotions of God which is love, always for all people, no matter what.

God wants us to show other people His love, despite their sinful nature, shortcomings, and despite their wrong doing toward you.  Not only because it exemplifies God, but it sets us apart from the other nonbelievers.  Can you imagine trying to tell people that God is love and we are to exemplify God's love, but when faced with hatred from someone else all that love disappears?  Why would anyone want to believe in God with that type of behavior.  You are no different from any person that do not believe in God.  Anyone can hate those who hate them.

“In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much.”  Matthew 5: 43-46 

Trust and believed I have been hated, persecuted, I have been called dumb, gullible, and thought of as weak because I want to forgive those who have done bad things to me.  But after a while I come to realize something.  Instead of anger I began to feel pity.  God revealed to me that the closer we get to Him the more we start to see things like Him.  So while God hates the bad things we do to other people.  I am sure that it is pity that He feels more than anything.

The reason being is because God created all of us, He knows what He has created us to do and what He has created us to be.  And so when we do things wrong to other people and are so consumed with wrecking havoc on other people's lives it is kinda of sad.  It is sad because there is something inadequate in these type of people as to why they have to compensate by being mean to others, and mostly because they ignore the fact that the evil they do in this world they are going to have to be held accountable for, by God.

I once had a old boss that was so insecure.  She was hated by all and no one wanted to be around her.  She forced people to be her friend by using pay raises and promotion as a weapon to be hanged over their head.  And then for kicks she would scream at them and degrade them in front of others.  She knew if they wanted a promotion they would simply have to take it.  And many people did.   And to me, she would often follow me around in the halls and get mad when I did not want to have conversation with her.  She would call me into the office and ask about my personal life and then get mad when I did not want to tell her.  She would cut hours from me, lie about me, and tell other employees not to talk to me among many other things.

All of this of course was stressful and the natural reaction would be for me to go back at her at hard as she was coming at me.  But when you read this, do you not feel sad for her more than anything.  Sad that she has to force people into being her friend? Sad that she has to use her position as a supervisor as a way to dominate people?  The hate that I could have used for her was used instead for me just feeling sorry for the type of person that she was.  And I realized that I should not waste any mind space retaliating against this person, her living in her insecure mind should be torment enough.


Instead I forgave, went on with my life, went on with my calling, and went on with m education.  Although her bullying on the workplace was torture, it just made me stronger and it did not stop any of the plans that I had for myself.

The same with my son's father.  He is a bad father to say the least.  I used to care, get mad and angry for his blatant disregard for my son.  But then I realized something.  It was probably better not to have him in our lives then it was to have him in our lives.  He is a felon, he is selfish, he does not want to be a father nor does he know how to be.  He prefers to spend his time pretending on social media that he is a good father then actually being one.  I looked over at my son and realized that my son is happy, he has positive male role models in his life.  My son told me that he wants a father, but it does have to be his father because even at 6 years old he realizes that something is not quite right there.   My son had forgiven his father for his shortcomings and does not think twice about him, I had to take a lesson from my son and do the same.

And in both of these situations, instead of feeling anger toward either of them, the anger turned to pity.  Pity for my supervisor because she is insecure, jealous, and these emotions have kept her in the same place as oppose to her moving forward in life; and actually getting to know people that want to be her friend instead of trying to force people to be her friend.  And pity for my son's father, pity for his other children that he left all these years.  Pity for his seven aborted children that never had a chance to live (none by me).  And despite us not getting along, I feel he has a lot of potential, most that is wasted due to his inability to look past himself.

So often times, people who hurt you or have your hurt you, something is wrong with them; not you.  It is their problems not yours, but you cannot wallow in unforgiveness and hatred toward that person for what they  have done.  You cannot allow the flaws they have in their personality to affect yours.  And if you chose not to forgive them but remain in hatred and animosity toward them, then you will allow their demons to swallow the goodness about you as well.  This is why we must forgive, and move on.  Make sense?  I hope so.

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Allowing The Past To Haunt You Can Affect Your Future.

One of the main things that comes to haunt us is our past.  We think of the wrong things that we have done in the past, how others have wronged us in the past, and how we cannot get over the things that were done to us in the past.  It is often times our inability to get over the past that leaves us stifled, stuck in depression, and wallowing in self pity.  It is being stuck in the past that keeps us from moving forward and keeps us from missing out on our futures blessing.

Take think about this Bible passage.

“The LORD said to Samuel, 'How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.'"   1 Samuel 16:1 

It was around this time that Saul had lost favor with God and God wanted to anoint a new king.  Instead of accepting this, Samuel was grieving, crying, sitting around mourning over what was already done and could never be changed.  God was not going to change His mind, He had another king already in mind.  And Samuel needed to anoint him.  However, Samuel was sitting around stuck on Saul and God finally called out to him.

It was like God was saying,

“How long Samuel, are you going to sit here being all depressed over the fact that Saul is no longer king.  It is over, it is done with, and there is nothing that is going to change my mind.  Instead of sitting there being sad over what you cannot change.  I have already chosen someone else and I need to use you to go get him.”

 I am paraphrasing of course, but I am sure this is what God was thinking. And even more so, how many of us is God also saying this too. If Samuel was to sit and stay stuck in one place over the fact that Saul was not king then there would have never been a David (click here for more on the life of David).  There would not have been a slaying of Goliath, the killing of thousands of Philistines, nor would there be the birth of Solomon, the wisest king in the Bible.

If you have missed the point that I am trying to get at, wallowing in self pity and depression and the past will quickly make you miss your future.  This is why is is so important that we let go of the relationship that we know we are not supposed to be in, the friendships that are toxic to us, the past situations that have caused us pain, forgiving ourselves for times in which we were wrong and caused others pain,  forgive the people that have done us wrong, or the unfair treatment or circumstances that we had to endure.  There is no going into a time machine to change it and since there is no changing it the only person that it is effecting is us and our future.

I cannot tell you how many years that I have spent on dating men in the hopes that they would change or come around.  I know God was saying,

“How long are you going to waste time on this loser, before you move on and see that he is not it?”

I have been lied on and treated unfairly by other people even by people that I considered friends, and people that I did no wrong to.  I would sometimes sit and tell God about how unfair it is, and that I did not do anything but yet I was the one getting punished. I was sit and blame God for not protecting me from these God awful people and situations.

It was as if God was saying, “How long are you going to be upset about what they did, you cannot change it? So you mine as well move on from it.”

Can you imagine if Samuel was still stuck on Saul when he anointed David?  He could have treated David bad or punished him for being anointed the new king, when David had nothing to do with God's decision.  That is the same thing that can happen to us, we can ruin a new blessing by bringing unresolved past issues with us to future blessings.

I am not saying this as someone who does not have a shaky past. I am not saying this as someone who has not had to endure jealously, lies, gossip,  unfair treatment, and people not like me for being a Christian, being black, or because I was the person that I was.  They hurt me for reasons I did not know, over a man, or even no really good reason at all.  And even though I would start to despise them for what they did I had to get over it.  People who have done you wrong want you to hate them back so they can feel they have justification for their maltreatment of you.


But what I have come to learn is that you cannot waste valuable time trying to fight them or even feeling sorry for yourself for what they did.  If God allowed it to happen then it must be something else that He has in store for the future, right?  Even though you may not get it, even though you may not understand it, you have to trust that God wants you to come out of your past and on to a bigger and better future.  You can never look forward if you are always looking back. And if you are always looking back, you will have trouble moving forward because you will be bumping and stumbling on things along the way.  If you are looking back, you cannot see what is in front of you and you won't be able to avoid the obstacles ahead.  So it is best to keep the past behind you, and always keep your eyes forward. Learning from the past, forgiving those from the past, and looking better to a brighter future no matter what you have gone through.

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