Not of This World

As the lent season is over and Easter is approaching, I feel that it is a time on Earth in which God is closest to us, if we seek Him.  If we deny our flesh and diligently seek after God, He will reveal His inner most thoughts to you.  Each lent season, I learn a valuable lesson.  As I reflect on what God has revealed to me in this season, I can say that it was most contemplating to me.  As I mentioned in my last blog, people are going to hurt you…… it is the ways of the world.  Then I seek and asked myself, why this is so.  Why do we as people want to hurt one another, for the sake of selfish ambition, or humor, or jealousy.  I understand now what Jesus spoke about, when He said that He was not of this world.  He was pure, He was love, and He loved all…..even those who hated and wanted to kill Him.

We all hear the Bible verse that we are all born into sin.  Throughout my life I have come to reflect on the sinful nature of people.  No one is perfect and we all sin, and through Jesus we are forgiven.  Sometimes perhaps, we used this as a crutch.  We know that if we repent and asked for forgiveness, then it will be given onto us.  So we use it as an excuse to hurt one another, lie to one another, and try to keep one another down instead of building each other up. 

When you really think about it…What is it all for?  I think for me, for those who do not know God, and then perhaps I can see why they do not know better.  Why they have selfish ambition and step on others in order to get what they want.  Although their behavior is not right, it is still somewhat understandable because they have never been taught to be better.  They somehow think that this world is all about them and they lack purpose not knowing that in the end, we are all meant to love one another and work together for the greater good of the world.  For Christians, I have learned, that many have selfish ambition as well.  Many, tend to be worse toward one another because they somehow feel that because they are saved, God have given them authority to judge and act superior to others.  I think most of all; these types of people hurt my heart the most. 

I do not understand people, more so I do not understand many so called Christian.  I do not understand why they are jealous of one another, I do not understand why we hurt one another, I do not understand why we just cannot love.  At the end of the day God loves us all, Christian or not.  For those who are Christian or call themselves Christian, I do not understand how they do not get that we are love.  We are all in the body of Christ, connected to one another, and are intertwined.  Therefore, being in the body of Christ, when you love your brothers and sisters….it is like loving yourself.  When you seek to do them good and not harm, you are bettering yourself and contributing to the purpose of others by motivating them since we are all in one body.

Many people say that they are Christians and that they love their neighbor….but do you act like it? Do you show it?  The best illustration of this that I can think of, would be with each and every person that you encounter, if you knew that there was a chance that you would never see that person again, what would your interaction with them be like?  Would you feel bad for the way that you treated them and have regret?  If so, then perhaps you need to begin treating people differently.  Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, and you want to be known for bringing joy into their lives not pain and hurt. For being good and not evil.

The thing is that it is not going to be easy.  I have made a practice of being this way.  It will not matter if you love your enemies, pray for those who want to see your fail, or have hurt you……you will still feel hurt, you will still feel pain, and no matter you niceness, they may continue to hurt you over and over again.  But, it is our duty as children of God to continue to be good, and not fall prey to the ways of the world.   This is what God calls turning the other cheek.  If they smack one cheek and even beat it bloody, smile….turn the other so that they can beat the other cheek too.  This is because it is not the person that we do it, it is because we are in Christ and he requires us to do it.  And as Christian, we know that hate is not furthering our purpose nor is it making the body of Christ better.

Not everyone likes me, many have hurt me….But I am convinced that no one can ever say that I was bad to them, or hated them, or tried to destroy them.  And even though they may still not like me now, I can rest assure that this is because of their own insecurities, and not my own or something that I have done.  As a Christian, your light should shine wherever you go.  Not because you run around all day proclaiming Christ, but because the light is in you and because the light shines through your smile, words, personality and even those who hate you cannot deny that you belong to the Most High God.   

I guess what I am trying to get at, is that the world would be so much better if we make a cognitive decision to stop hurting one another.  If we make a decision to try to uplift and be an example to each person that we meet, whether they be Christian or not.  You never know how you can lead someone to Christ just by the way you behave at work or in public.  I am convinced that if we all put forth an effort, to really genuinely love one another (and not just quote the Bible verse and say that we are doing it) the world would be a better place.  We would feel better about ourselves and in the end we can stand before God truly blameless.  Knowing that whatever negative situations that were in our lives or what people have done to us, was of no fault of our own, but a result of those who are in the world.

This lent season, I have learned that I want to be like Christ, and I am learning to not be of this world, and with this mentality many sacrifices must be made.  As I step back and observe the actions of people, it confuses me, because although we were all created by God, came from Adam and Eve, and are all relatives…..we still hurt one another.  And when you really think about it….what is it all for?  With every action that you do, remember that God not only knows but He will question you in the end.  Do you want him to ask?  Why did you abuse my child such and such? Or why you did this or that to your fellow man.  What would your response be?  There could be no response to justify hating someone, hurting someone, being mean or evil to someone.  At those pearly gates you want God to say, “Well done good and faithful servant.”  Meaning that although you are not perfect, you still get an A for effort because you really did try.  You do not want to hear Him say :”Turn away from me you evil doer, for I never knew you.”  These are the people, who claim to be in the body of Christ, and even said that Jesus was their savior….but they fell short in knowing Christ and what he stood for.  So I say to you, that it is not too late to change, and repent and truly understand how God wants you to be….not of this world.  And although we are born in this world and we have to be a part of it, we can set out selves apart like Jesus did and be a light that shines in the darkness.

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Getting to your Perfect Life Faster

I believe that there is a reason and season for everything and every person that we meet (TWEET THIS).  I know that this is a saying that is very prevalent, but I think that we really have to reflect on what this means, especially as it pertains to relationship and our lives.  

The first thing is that everyone that enters your life is not going to be there in a positive way (TWEET THIS).  Some people are not going to like you, some are going to talk bad about you, and there are times that you will be treated unfairly.  It’s just the ways of the world.  However, I think that we have to bring these ways into a new understanding.  Often times, these ways are not to bring us down, but to build us up.  And even though it feels like we are being pulled to the brink or insanity, when we are going through these things, like a lump of coal that has been through heat and pressure, its meant to make us come out like a diamond in the end (TWEET THIS).

I think the best Bible verse that can explains this is “but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”  Romans 5:3-4

You see the thing is that if the world was the way we wanted it to be 100% of the time, or if people treated us the way that we wanted to be treated 100% of the time, then what type of person would we be.  If we never had a problem, if no one was ever rude to us, if things always went right in our lives, then how our strength as a person ever be tested, and if our strength is never tested then how can we know how high we can jump or how far we can reach.  

 You see it is through the bad stuff, that makes us stronger, that makes us want to prove people wrong and make liars out of those when they told us we would not amount to anything.  Once we know we are through the tough times and that we can still come out on top, then we know that the next time we cannot be so easily knocked down or swayed.   Not only that, but we are able to recognize quicker and faster the people and things that are not good for us, because we would have already “been there and done that” and feel no need to repeat past mistakes.

In my opinion, everyone was born to be great.  It is up to them weather they get there or not (TWEET THIS).  I do not care whether you were born poor, molested; raped, beaten…..that is the bad stuff that can be turned into a big testimonial to someone one day.  Look at Joyce Myers.  It’s no secret that she was molested and raped by her father for years.  Yes it was a terrible thing, but look at her know.  Could she be any stronger in the father that she had in Christ had she not endured the bad stuff.   Or even more so, that she forgave her father and lead him to Christ!

Look at Jesus’ life.  He was born in a barn, with dirty smelly animals and put into a contraption that animal their food eats out of. He lived very poorly, had not real home to call his home, went against popular belief, faced rejection, and although many loved him many hated him too, and last but most certainly not least, he died a common criminal’s death.  We often use words like he was born in a manger in a stable, and lived a humble life, in which he was crucified.  That sounds much different that the reality of the situation.  Jesus’ life was hard, very hard.  But I think it was intentionally made this way.  So that no one can say, they ever had it harder than Him, on Earth. ….and yet and still he was able to accomplish the mission that he was put on this Earth for.   He didn’t dwell on what was not being done for him, or who said what about him, he just did what he had to do, and worked with what he had, and still came out on top.

The point that I am trying to make is this.  Do you wonder where your life partner is, or what your point in life is?  Well I think that if you do then you have not gone through what you needed to go through or learn what you need to learn in order for that person or purpose to be there.  In each relationship, interaction, trail, tribulation…there is a lesson to be learned.  Now, how fast you get through that lesson depends on you. 

I think it was Albert Einstein that said “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” (TWEET THIS)

Let’s take this for a moment here.  If you are the type of person that jumps in bed with a man too soon, and do it time and time again and wonder why your relationships are not going anywhere….then you may be insane.  Why do we as people want to revisit the same path, the same person, or type of person and do the same things over and over and expect the outcome to be different?  Why do we keep ahold of people that we know are not good for us, that hurt us, that have no place in our future?  Everything and everyone has a season you guys, you have to go through it, learn from it, and then you have to let go.

The best way I can illustrated this is if two women have the same exact destiny.  One gets married at 28 and the other at 42.  What went wrong since they have the same destiny?  Often times it goes like this, the 28 years old meets someone they know is no good for them.  They are able to recognize that within weeks that this person is not for them, and moved on.   Within the same year they meet person A,B, and C and within that year they were able to recognize that none of these people are good for them.  Not only did they move on, but they took something out of each and every relationship and made a change on the inside of them depending on the experience of the relationship.  Eventually, she came to know herself, and she knew what she wanted out of life, as well as what she wanted out of a partner, and at the age of 28 she knew that she knew that she knew, she found that person.   

Let’s take the 42 year old.  Instead of learning and growing.  She would hold on to man A, knowing that he was not the one, knowing that his type of love hurt, but still hoping it would change.  She held on for five years all for the sake of wanting to get married, or not wanting to be alone, or not understanding that the purpose was not for man A to be in her life for 5 years.  However, she continued this pattern and instead of going through B and C like the 28 year old did, learning from each experience.  She held on to them each for years…….. keeping men that God was trying to pull away.  She did not learn from her experiences and added man D,E,F,G into the mix.  Slowing down her own destiny because she was not moving fluently though life and not fulfilling or trying to understand her purpose.  Instead, she stumbled, and stumbled, and stumbled, and when she did meet the right man, although grateful… it really could have been done sooner had she been willing to let go of the others, learn what she needed to learn, and move on.   Sometimes we will settle and force ourselves to marry person E, when it was never intended to be so, missing the mark completely.

Often times it is ourselves that are putting us through pain of life, by trying to hold on to what God is trying to pull away.  Not only that, but letting it distract us from the purpose in life and because we are so focused on the wrong things throughout our lives, we fall short of our great destiny and settle for an average life.  So I say this to you, life is life.  It is always going to be hard, and we all have our burdens to bear.  Some more than most.  But if we get caught up on out burdens, downfalls, and wrong people, then our perfect destiny will always be a dream.  You will stumble on the wrong things and then when you get up you will be so lost that you take the wrong path all together.  Instead, stumble get back up and keep it moving.  Do not continue to stumble in the same place for years.  Just like the story in the Bible.  When Moses led the Hebrews out of Egypt, the trip to the promise land was only supposed to take 40 days.  But because of their constant unbelief, complaining, and not seeing what God wanted them to see, it took 40 years.  In that 40 years the original generation had passed away, including Moses, and did not see the promise land.  They were freed from Egypt and everything started out okay, but stumbling so many times that they did not quite make it to the promise land.   Don’t take 40 years to get to the promise land.  Live, learn, and get through the bad stuff as soon and gracefully as possible, so you can get your reward sooner.

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Women, Know Your Worth!!!!

I don’t know what it is, but it seems as though us women have moved from a being pursued role to a chasing, a man role.  We want a man to see how good we are, how great we do this, how nice our heart is, how understanding we are…….not thinking that a lot of the time it is the man’s job to prove this to us. 

As I was sitting at a male friend’s home this past weekend, someone that I have known for quite a while now.  I sat there thinking to myself, I really do not know this person.  Or worse, I really do not even like this person.  He wined, he complained, and made everything humanly possible about him.  Not once did he even ask how I was doing.  Had he asked, he would have known that I had just gotten over a stomach virus the week before and missed four days from work.  Instead, he wanted me to massage his back, get this, do that blah blah blah.  Not once did he offer me anything, not even water.  I sat and thought to myself, how I have missed this.  How have I missed that this person is completely self-centered and only cares about what is going on around them in their own mind and bodies.

In my case, like I think is the case for many women, is that women feel that because we see a good shell on a man….. By shell I mean a job, looks, their own place, sex, car, or whatever….we are willing to overlook aspects of their personality that does not necessarily go with our own personality or purpose in life.  It really took time for me to say I am beautiful, I am smart, I am a home owner, I am pursuing a Ph.D, I am generally a kind hearted person, and the caring and love that comes out of me is not fake but 100% real…. it has always been this way.  I am a true kind of women…through my heart, mind, and spirit.  I used to think everyone was this way, but through the ways I have been treated and through observation of those around me, I can now say I see how hard those attributes are hard to find.

 I am uniquely and wonderfully made by the One and only true living God, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that not only do I deserve better, but God will give me better.  Women out there you deserve better too. .  This is because as it stands I am His, and the only way God will relinquish control is if it is to a worthy person.   I do think that there is a huge generation of men out there that do not know what it is like to be men, head of household, or to be in their role BUT there are men that do, they are out there.  I have learned that until you find the man that you feel is given to you by God, then why even settle for anything less.  Marriage is permanent and it is meant to explain the way Christ loves the church, so settling for anything less because you do not want to be alone, is really short changing yourself and what God wants for you. He wants you to have the best, and the only way that you can get it, is by being the best.   The only way that you can be the best is by learning from the best, and the best is Him….God.  So when we are closer to God and we know God, when we know what mate God wants for us, and we do not waste time on those who mean us no good.

Society have taught men to have as many women as possible, and to use and abuse women, and that this is something to be valued.  But guess what….it is not.  When you think about it, what is so great with sharing your body with person after person, not knowing or having a true understanding of what love can be if they were to actually just try.    Women you are never going to find the man of your dreams, by using what you have between your legs to trap them, and men you are never going to find that dream woman if you keep trying to get into the thing between her legs, and not knowing or understanding that there is a bigger art to love and making love than just the physical.  

Relationships can be so much more, if we allow them to be.  Love can be more if we allow it to be.  Why can't people turn against what is the popular culture of being loose, and get back to the basics.  The basics in which men open doors for women, take them on dates, practice monogamy.

Like it or not men and women are not alike.  We are equal in the roles that we have been given.  But make no mistake about it, we each have our distinct roles.  I myself am a single mother, and although I do a lot for my son I can never be a father to him.  Not ever, no matter how smart or cool I want to be.  I think because of the breakdown of the traditional family unit over time, we have forgotten to treat our daughters like queens, and we have forgotten to raise our sons to be kings. So they do not act like kings and queens because they have not been taught.  Instead men find it funny to hurt and degrade women, not thinking themselves that they once came from one.  And women find it perfectly acceptable to be girlfriend number 2,3,4,5,6 all for the sake of believing that we have find a diamond in the rough, and feels that if he gets rid of this person or does that…. then he would be the perfect man for you.  I have been there. 

But at the end of the day, none of it matters.  There is a purpose to your life and whoever it is that you are meant to be with will add to your purpose, they will add to your character.  They will not want to hurt you, abuse you, lie to you, cheat on you, and they will want to have a promising future that is suited for the both of you.  So I ask you today, what are you doing as a man or as a women?  Are you being disrespectful or are you allowing yourself to be disrespected.  Are you adding to the value of this world by being an example to others or are you just blending in with the example of others.  Be your own person, find your own purpose, and the person that is meant for you truly meant for you will see you as a gem that is one of a kind to be value and adorned.  Let go of the nasty and negative energy of the ones that hurt you and make your cry.  Instead use this negative energy learn from it, and be better.  The best revenge for someone who has hurt you, disrespected you, and treated you bad, is to prove them wrong and to be the best you, you can be.  God will love you for it, you will love yourself for it, and God will send someone that loves you like HE loves you as a reward.  Stay blessed and true to yourself always.

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