Sunday, January 5, 2014

The only person that can make you feel bad about yourself is you.

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Anyone who knows me, knows that I am going to wear what I want and I do not care what anyone has to say about it.  However, I have noticed a recent changing of women who allow other people (namely man) dictate to them how to look, what they wear, and how they wear it.  So much so, that the women actually start to get paranoid and feel bad about them self, because of what a man says.  I have seen women be afraid to post picture because of the criticism they may get.  I have seen women afraid to pick out an outfit for being fearful or weather “he” may like or not.  I personally think that this is utterly and completely bonkers.  No one can make you feel inadequate about yourself, unless you allow it.

I want to tell you a secret women.  Sometimes men will intentional judge you, pick with you about what you are wearing, or mock your appearance, so they can try to get control of you.  The only reason why they criticize you, is because they want to see how you are going to react.  They want to see if you are going to take off those pants  they told you were ugly or if you are going to tell them to kick rocks.  The moment you start bending and transforming into what other people want you to be, is the moment you give control of yourself to someone else.

In regards to your overall wellbeing.  Self esteem is the center of it.  When a man looks at you, they can tell how low you feel about yourself and the men who prey off that type of woman will be drawn right to you.  I once watched a movie about a serial killer.  He openly admitted to picking women that had low self esteem, because it was easy to get over on them.  And he was a serial killer!  The moral of this story is do not let anyone tell you about your self, do not let anyone make you feel bad about yourself,   do not let anyone tell you what you can be or can’t be, and most of all do not let anyone make you feel ugly or sub par.  The only person that should be able to affect the way you feel about yourself is you.  If you are in a relationships were a man puts you down.  Get out, get out now!! That is not love, it is just his way of having control over you.  And last but not least, until you feel good about yourself, no one is is going to feel good about you.  You get what you put you out.

My book Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart is now on sale at Amazon in Both Paperback and E-book.  Get it now.

Friday, January 3, 2014

5 New Year Resolutions For Singles

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  Going into a New Year and you are single. It's not the worst thing that could happen. Instead of making resolutions you won't stick to, try these easy resolutions that can make your year as a single a whole lot better.  

1. Out with the Old and in with the New.  This does just a “ New Year” phrase, but can be a statement in regards to your relationships.  If a person is not is not in your present, then there is a reason for that.  Stop trying to figure out why they are not there, stop trying to bring the bad relationships karma with you into future relationships, and stop trying to figure out what you did wrong.  Because whatever the answer to those questions may be, it does not matter.  All that matters is the present and moving froward.  So if you are stuck on past people or relationships, do not let that drama come with you into the new year.  Let it go.

  2. Make a resolution that makes you better.  You can always make a resolution not to be single.  But look at the reasons that are keeping you from a relationship.  Look at making a resolutions that makes you a better and make you feel more confident.  This could be working out, taking classes, or taking better care of your health.  A better feeling you, means that your confidence level will soar through the roof, and people around you will notice.  And you never know, being a better you, may attract a better person.

  3. Get out, get up, and go somewhere.  If you are constantly visiting the same bars, clubs, and places.  And your still single.  Then guess what, it may be time for a change.  If the places that you were going to didn’t work out so well, why not step out of your comfort zone and try something or somewhere different.  One thing that borders on the side of being uncool, is when you walk in the bar and everyone knows your name.  They know what you are going to order, they know all about your personal business, and because you frequent there so much the bar tender gave you a Christmas card for the holidays.  Its a little lame.  Try a little change of scenery.

  4 Dress up.  Dressing up can be an underestimated thing.  I dare you to go outside with no make up on, sweats, and looking like the hot mess express and see how much attention you get.  Then I dare you to look your finest meaning make up, perfume, and putting some thought into your appearance.  It is not just about other people that will notice you because of your appearance.  But looking your best also makes you feel good about yourself.  And when you feel good about yourself.  Other people take notice as well.

  5. Don't Worry be Happy.  If you are going into the new year single.  Don’t fret and get all upset and depressed about it.  Enjoy your life anyway.  Weather you are having a dinner for one or two, just be joyful.  If you are a depressed single, then what makes you think that someone else is magically going to make you happy.  Other people do not make you happy.  You make yourself happy, and allow the other person to add on to your awesome package of happiness.  Often times, when people see you are happy on your own, they are more open to being in a relationships with you, because they assume that you are not going to be Debbie Downer the whole time.

So if you are going into the new year single.  Fret not.  It is not the end of the world.  Just enjoy your life, and your New Year resolution should be to make your life better than it was last year.  Weather you are with someone or not.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Top 5 Quotes My Book Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart Ch. 12-14

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1. Do you think it is easy for me, being a single mother, going to school full time (graduate school at that), or working on other things that God wants me to do (including this book)?  Do you think it was easy always listening to God even when I did not want to, humbling myself to those who hate me, curse me, and want to see me fail? Or being the type of person that God wants me to be; dying to my own wants to follow God’s wants for me? Do you think I am telling you these things, because life is easy for me? It is not easy, it is hard, but I do it because I know this is what God wants me to do.  I do it so I can share my story and motivate others.  I do it because I know that this is what I need to do so God can give me what He has in store for me.

2. If you have seen the show Who the Bleep Did I Marry?  It is your job to verify things people tell you.  It doesn’t take much effort to do this.  If a person says they are a doctor when you talk to them, ask them little things about their job.  Check out whether they know what they are talking about.  Get them to be specific.  Do not come across like prying or like you are interrogating. Come across as you are asking them about their life. Which is what you should be doing anyway.  If someone says they are a teacher and they do not know how to spell or type properly when they are messaging you, be suspicious.

3. I am not trying to sit here and pretend like everything is all good and easy because it is not.  Am I tired of waiting?  YES!!!! Do wonder why everyone else is being blessed with a husband and I am not? YES!!! But at the end of the day, I could sit on my behind all day and wait or I can do what God has told me to do and wait. Either way, I am going to wait. I mine as well be productive while I do it. You never know, perhaps God is just waiting for you to sow so many seeds before He brings you the right one.  So this is why you have to plant those seeds, get a plow (a big and heavy one that is hard to push) and begin sowing.

4. I can recall I made this mistake in talking to someone I knew did not meet the things that I wanted in man.  He even requested me on Facebook.  I was shocked to see every time he posted something it consisted of atheist and anti-God comments.  Upon viewing his page, he had just broken up with his girlfriend two days ago before joining the dating site.  Needless to say he needed to get off of my profile and friend list.

5.  Maybe you can call me crazy, but I prefer to be crazy then to waste my time on someone that blatantly lied about something that was so simple and not worth lying about. I guess once I said I had an interview at the school; he changed his story and told me that he was a program manager.  He told me that a program manager was the same thing as a principal trying to cover his tracks.  This once again was not true. I don’t like liars so I did not want to bother. I felt that Oliver lied to boost himself up in my eyes.  More than likely to draw me in, thinking I would think that he had money, fall for him, and sleep with him.  If he intended on having a long term relationship then why would he have lied about his job? If I was going to be his girlfriend, then I would have eventually found out anyway.  The only conclusion to draw is that when a man lies about something as simple as this, then he did not plan on having me around very long to find out what he really did.

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Sophia Reed is a single mother and the author of this book.  Like many women Sophia found herself getting involved in one terrible relationship after the next in attempts to find a “good” man. From her son’s father being incarcerated to engaging in a relationship with a man, who ultimately caused her to loose her job and almost caused her to loose her brand new home. Sophia has seemingly been through and seen it all.  

Even through her chaos, the author still sought to do everything right in the eyes of God.  This includes getting a master’s degree, pursuing a Ph.d, and raising her son the best way she knows how.  Through the difficulties of relationships, the unexpected curve balls in life, and angry conversations with God; Sophia still stayed focused.  She learned to let go of the bad men and learn that being single is not the worst thing in the world.

In the pages of this book, you will laugh, cry, and have hope.  You will read her downfalls, shortcomings, receive encouragement, and see a personal transformation made possible by God. The title Waiting for a Man After God’s Own Heart was inspired by a phrase used in the Bible to describe King David.  David was imperfect, a polygamist, and an adulterer who made mistakes along the way. David was also known as one of the greatest men in the Bible for his unshakable faith.  The point is that even though we are not perfect, if we keep our eyes focused on God, He can redeem us.

In this book, the author encourages you never to give up hope that the right man is out there for you.  She encourages you to wait for a man after God’s Own Heart, or for one who has already captured it.