Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Tackle Your Relationships Demons

  No comments    
Anyone who know me knows I am a big advocate for knowing/ improving yourself first before getting into a relationship. Even after extensive soul searching and knowing what you want out of a relationship; something is still going to be wrong with you ( TWEET THIS).  As a matter of fact, I am almost sure of it.  These are what I call “relationships demons.”

Through every relationship or life experience you have gone through, it has left little deposits in your personality that you carry with you (TWEET THIS).

Some forms of these deposits may come off as neediness, distrust, abandonment issues, and the list goes on and on.  Part of getting to know yourself is also getting to know your demons so you can learn to deal with them in the best way possible (TWEET THIS).

Take a long good look at yourself.  I have had to take a long and good look at myself.  Some of my relationships baggage I have been able to fix over time, some of it I just traded it in for another set of demons, and some I have not gotten rid of nor do I want to.

Just to give you an idea, I will go first and let you know what my relationships demons are.

Emotional detachment- I do not like sharing my feelings, talking about my feelings, and some of the times I won’t like listening to my man’s feelings either.

I used to tell one of my boyfriend while he was speaking, that I did not care about what he was talking about.  I have since gotten over that and have learn to listen and at least pretend that I care.

As for my emotions, that’s still a work in progress and honesty, it may never even happen.  I am just not a very super emotional person.  I do not like for people to see me cry or talk about how much we love each other, its not my thing.

 I don’t like people in my space.

 I was brought up as an only child and I have always had my own room and bathroom growing up.  I do not like people in my personal space.

This means I do not like having people over my house.  I do not like people going through my closet, my stuff, or my refrigerator, none of that.

I also like to be left, the H-E double Hockey Sticks alone.  Being around people for too long bothers me.  I like to sit and think to myself.  As you can see this may prove to be problematic in a relationships.

I am going to say what I want to say

Some men appreciate this about me. Just because he says something does not mean that I am going to agree.  I am not argumentative, but if a man is looking for a “yes dear” whose head is like a bobble head nodding up and down all the time, this is not me, nor will it ever be me.  Through time, I have learn when to just be quiet and let my opinion go unknown.

But if it is an issues I feel strongly about, do not expect me to be silent.  Another relationship demon I have is I tend to think I am smarter than the average bear, and I think I know everything.

Now see, seeing your demons were not so bad.  I can freely list mine and probably think of more if I really put my mind to it.  There is nothing wrong with having this baggage, but you would not be doing yourself a favor by not acknowledging them.

It will also help you know what who to choose for a relationship.  For example, when I talk to a potential date, and I see they have a problems with opinionated women, then there is no need in going there.

Instead of trying to make something happen with someone that does not like aspects about my personality, I choose to go for men who do like women who openly share their opinions.

My relationships demons are simple.  Some of you may have ones that are worse.  If you have demons you simply feel you cannot get over on your own.  Then it is best to seek professional help for them.  You can check out the coaching section on this website to see what services I offer.

Also do not forget my book.  Go the “my book” tab for buying information.  You can read the first two chapter’s free on Amazon.