When looking at whether you are finding the best person for
you, it is important to first evaluate yourself. Often times women want a man that makes a lot
of money, has a house, nice car, and one that would be able to provide for them financially. And honestly, there is
nothing wrong with this. But as women,
they should ask themselves what they bring to the table in order to get a
person like this? Do they have a car,
job, house, car, and are emotionally stable…. are they living up to their true
potential? The same can be said for
men. Men tend to want the prettiest
women, a women that takes care of herself, would be a good mother, wife, cook,
clean, and everything else. And to these
men, I asked you, what do you bring to the table. Are you willing to be the type of man that
attracts these types of women, do you have a job, place of your own,
transportation, and ways to provide and take care of a family, do take care of
yourself?
The reason why I say this is because both men and women want
their ideal mate, and sometimes their ideal mate is out of their league. We can all aspire to want to best person that
life has to offer us, but if this is the type of person that we want, then we
ourselves have to be the best person we can be.
Let’s face it. As mean as it may
sound, but a man that is making six figures, has his own home, house, property,
and everything else…..his dream mate is not going to be a women that did not graduate
from high school, has never been out of her hometown, and is ignorant of the
things around her. That is because with
his life, there is a lifestyle, one in which he would like a woman to be a part
of……and with that, the woman he chooses has to fit it. She has to know how to take care of herself,
take care of the home, speak well around his co-workers, and present herself in
a positive light. As for men, if you want
your ideal mate, then the same applies.
No woman that has graduated from college has her own place, car, and independence,
is going to want a man that lives with his mother and no hopes of a real job or
career. Let alone not be able to provide
for her or a possible family, no women is going to want to wear herself thin
for a man that does not even try. Now don’t
get me wrong there are exceptions to the above rules for both men and
women. But when you really evaluate the
quality of these relationships. Often times, there are not all that great and
if each person is willing to put in what they expect to get out, then the
relationship could always be better.
My point of bringing this all up is to say this. Whatever type of mate you desire and aspire
for. You need to be the type of person
that attracts that mate. I am not saying
change yourself, personality, or the things that make you….you. I am saying have yourself together. A prime example that I recently found,
include a dating ad saying the following.
A female looking for a romantic relationship, possibly long term. The section in which she wrote about herself
included, that she did not do anything because she got “checks” every month. Now let’s evaluate this situation, I am sure
that someone more than likely responded to this ad. Would it be her ideal mate, an ideal man that
could be a provider or a good husband in the long run? Probably not, it would more than likely be
someone that is in the same situation that she is in, both taking out of the
relationship and not putting in, both expecting and wanting more but not
bettering themselves to get it. When
good men that will make good husbands see this in a woman, they see lazy, they
see a woman that is unable to maintain her own life and take care of herself,
let alone are able to have a quality romantic partner if added to the mix. And what is worse, is that she feels that not
trying and not finding ways to better herself is okay. The best advice that I can give my clients
regarding relationships includes this:
When you stand alone, you yourself should be sufficient. You should be able to maintain yourself and
be complete by yourself. Whoever, you
choose to come into the relationship with you, should add on to what you have,
not complete it or bring to you to a higher level. Therefore, I asked each and every one of you,
that before you go looking for your mate; really evaluate what you yourself
have to offer that person. Each person
should bring things into a relationship 50/50 that does not mean finances or
material things. But emotional stability,
goals, knowing the direction of one’s life, each person should feel like they
are getting something equal from the next person, and not as if they are being
used as, a crutch. With that being said,
as people we can always improve, we can always be better people, or improve
ourselves in some way shape or form, especially if that is what you are asking
for in a mate. That is the only way to
improve our chancing of finding the person that we truly want, and not just
settling, or expecting for someone to be something to us, which we cannot be to
ourselves.If you are single and you are still waiting for Mr. Right, then you must read my book "Waiting For A Man After God's Own Heart." Click on the book tab for purchasing information. Read the first two chapters free at Amazon.
