Friday, August 14, 2015

People Are Made For Real Relationships Not Casual Encounters and Hook ups

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It seems as though people are starting to believe that humans are not made to mate for life and that we are meant to be with everyone at anyone and monogamy is somehow outdated.  This is insane to me.  Human beings were made in God’s image which means that we are not like animals.  We should not go around randomly having sex with a bunch of people and not connect on a deeper level.  This is not what we, as humans were made for.

Even if you do not understand the whole God dynamic, then understand that as women; scientifically we release hormones after sex that cause us to feel more attached to a person.  We were made to fall in love, and not jump from one person to the next with a whole slew of casual encounters.  It seems as if so many women and men are used to these “hook ups”  that even when they sleep with each other they do not know how to emotionally connect anymore.  They have learned to turn that part of themselves off.

Sex is supposed to be an extension of love or a deeper connection that you have with a person.  Yes its fun and it feels good. But it will feel a whole lot better if you actually love that person, want to grow with that person, and want a future with that person.  Not someone that after you are finish you have to leave or they leave and they do not even want to cuddle or touch you afterward.  And it is even worse if you are trying to convince yourself that this is how modern “relationships” work.

I have heard some women who do not want a relationship they only want sex and they somehow feel as though they are winning in these situations.  They tell me that when they are done they can just send the man about their own way, like they are the one getting the benefit or using him.  Umm no he is using you.  He is getting to have sex with you, have his satisfaction, and go home to girlfriend number 1-10 where he does the same thing with him and have the same type of “relationship” with them.

If you have a hard day and you want to talk to someone, you cannot even talk to him.  You cannot share things with him that you cannot share with anyone else.  You cannot experience the actual love part that goes on in the “love making” process.  I am sure the sex is like a porno.  No connection and just a bunch of pounding and roughness. But somehow, women seem to think that they are winning in this situation.  That this is good and that casual sex is something to strive for.

And men, they simply do not know any better.  One of my female friends went out with and slept with a man in which the sex was awful.  And she tried to talk to him about it and he said that he learned how to have sex from porn.  They soon broke up because of inability to be a boyfriend.  You see, this is where casual sex gets you.  In fact I dated a man a few years back before my celibacy days and he said that he had never been in love before.  He describe his sex as just a wham bam thank you man type situation and did not feel anything was wrong with it.  In fact, he thought that is what a women enjoyed.  And why shouldn’t he think that.  Women have more than likely slept with him and he practice his porn star sex techniques and they both went home thinking that this is something strive for.  Casual sex is the “thing” to do.  They tell themselves “Do not get attached, do not strive for relationships, pass yourself around, and be with everyone.”

And this is truly sad.  Not only is it sad, but this is why our marriage and relationships are falling part.  When people do try to get married, they get married off of sex.  When they have problems the do not know how to deal with them because they never had an emotional connection with one another, and it is too much work to deal with problems.  Or work things out with one another.  For many people, it is better to give up on a marriage and move on to another then it is to actually work through problems with one another.

At the end of the day, we all get old.  Beauty fades for all of us, I do not care how much plastic surgery you get.  And if people are basing their “relationships” off of beauty and sex alone, the they will never be fulfilled.  And human beings are not made like the animals around us, we are made to have emotional connections with one another.  To build some deeper and better that goes beyond animals in heat mating in the jungle.  We were made for monogamy, to love and be loved.  And when we except that, instead of accepting this “sleep with everyone and have a relationships with no one” mentality, that is when we will start seeing healthier and happier couples.