Thursday, June 27, 2013

To Whom Much is Given Much is Required

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To whom much is given much is required.  Luke 12:48.  This is something that has been ringing in my head for the past year or two.  It was not until recently that I began to understand the fullness of this.  I always use to wonder why it would seem like God was coming down hard on me.  I would wondered why it would seem that everyone around me would be able to get away with some of the most smallest thing and when I tried it, I would be the one to get caught. 

It was not until finally I came up to this conclusion.  To whom much is given much is required.  There are plenty of people would have big dreams and want a lot out of life, but the thing is they are not willing to put it the work that they need to put in, in order to get that dream.  If God gives you small tasks and you quit and tell yourself you cannot handle it because it is too hard.  Then why on Earth would He give you a larger task.  You cannot even handle the small one.

You can relate this to almost anything that you do, whether it is a job, relationship, or whatever.  How can God trust you with a promotion if you do not even do your current job well?  How can God trust you with a marriage, if you cannot even sustain a normal relationship?  These are things that we all need to think about when we asked God to give us more.  For God to give you more you must pass the pre-test first.  The pre-test is not going to be easy; it is going to be hard. 

For example if you want to be an actress.  If then you were assigned a small part in a local play and you give up because of the long hours, because you feel like you should be the lead, or because you feel people do not give you the respect that you deserve.  Then you fail the test.  Do you think that you will be in Hollywood and not work long hours, not have people talk bad about you or be jealous of you, do you think that when you get on top that you will be magically able to handle it, even if you are not able to handle things at the smallest level?  Why would God entrust you with such a large blessing, when you give up at the first thing that does not go your way.

You have to understand that you have to work your way from the bottom to the top.  You cannot expect to come out on top without putting in all the work first.  If you asked most successful people, they will say that they had to face much rejection or hear a lot of no’s before they heard a yes, and this is what made them stronger.  It is because that when you are on the top you are going to need a thick skin to stay there.  The only way in which you are going to get a thick skin is by going through the bad stuff first, taking whatever life throws at you, and then still coming out on top.

I often say the best revenge for those who tell you no and want to see you fail, is to make liars out of them and succeed anyway.  Not just succeed, but to go above and beyond on what they thought you could ever be.  There is no need to get mad, angry, curse those who hate you, and sit on your butt all day blaming others for what they did you.

Get up! Realize that this is only a test.  The bad stuff is only a test and God is waiting for you to past so that He can give you another test, and then another, and then another, and then another…before you know you would have past so many test when you look up you will be exactly where you want to be.  That is because to be given much you must do much.  You must work hard; you must take the rugged hard path over the smooth one.  You must build up yourself and your character so that God can trust you with all the blessings that He wants to give you.  God not just going to give you anything, just because you are you.  God wants to bless you, but He is only going to give higher and higher blessings to those that He deems deserving. 

So I end of this note.  To whom much is given, much is required.  What do you want?  Is it a better job, is it more money, is it a relationship, marriage, what is it?  Know that what your ultimate goal is, you are going to have to put in work to get there.  It is best to realize that now so you can go forth and pass the test that God has put before you, instead of failing the test and expected your situation to change. 

Friday, June 21, 2013


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The first lesson that I want you to take from this is that if you believe that God is going to bring you the one.  Then believe that.  It is not going to be super hard for you to be with the one God has with you.  Will it be work? Yes.  But you will not have to chase that person, change that person, convert that person, give that person money, allow that person to cheat on you, live off you, make them like your kids,  or convince them to marry you.  It is just not going to be that hard.  So if it is that hard, then you may want to move on.  The relationship that you are in is not it.  Trust God to bring you the desires of your heart.  The man that you really want, not a man that you are trying to transform into the man that you want.

The second lesson is that often times it is ourselves that put us through pain of life, by trying to hold on to what God is trying to pull away.  Not only that, but letting it distract us from our purpose in life. And because we are so focused on the wrong things throughout our lives, we fall short of our great destiny and settle for an average life.  So I say this to you, life is life.  It is always going to be hard, and we all have our burdens to bear.  But if we get caught up in our burdens, downfalls, and wrong people, then our perfect destiny will always be a dream.  You will stumble on the wrong things and then when you get up you will be so lost that you take the wrong path all together. 

Instead, stumble get back up and keep it moving.  Do not continue to stumble in the same place for years.  Just like the story in the Bible.  When Moses led the Hebrews out of Egypt, the trip to the promise land was only supposed to take two weeks.  But because of their constant unbelief, complaining, and not seeing what God wanted them to see, it took 40 years.  In that 40 years the original generation had passed away, including Moses, and not even he was able to enter the promise land.  They were freed from Egypt and were no longer slaved, but they still had that mentality.  That generation never grew into the generation of God, intended it to be, stumbling so many times they did not quite make it to the promise land.   Don’t take 40 years to get to the promise land, take the intended time.  Live, learn, and get through the bad stuff as soon and gracefully as possible.  Learn what you need to learn, leave what you need to leave, and look forward to getting your reward faster.

Expectation, Expectations

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Okay so expectations are a big one for use women.  I used to be one of those women that did not have expectations.  My expectation first consisted of a person that was interested in me, then to one that was cute, but as you can see from some of the above stories this did not serve me well. Also I come to realize that I deserve better.  Now I am to the point that I do not even entertain those that I know are not right for me.  I think a large reason why I entertained those in the past for the simple fact I was bored, I wanted to attention, or I thought that perhaps they would grow on me and I would not want to turn down somebody that was the one, so I just kind of gave everyone a chance.   

I think even on some level, I may have felt like I needed men around me in order to validate myself. As women we have allowed men to get away with way too much, by sleeping with this one and that one and then us.  By sleeping with engaged, taken, or even married men. Enough is enough and you deserve better. I deserve better.  I have noticed that a trend of men in which they do not want to court women or even take them out on dates.  Some of the men I have dated even told me that they wanted a woman to take care of them…WHAT!!!  This goes against everything that manhood is.  And there are some women that are feeding into this nonsense. 

There are women that are paying on dates, paying for a man’s food, rent, bills, child support, allowing him to sit on his butt all day while they go to work.  I have been on dates, when the man does not want to buy food, where the man watches me eat while they eat nothing, for the sake of being cheap.  I mean some of this is really ridicules.  If you are dating a man like this, you need to stop and move on.  Do not pass go and do not collect $200.  That is crazy.  If God is willing to make the man the head of the household and want the wives to submit, how in the world can that be if the man cannot or are not willing to even provide financial for their family.  Or to even have a plan to take care of a family, and think that this is perfectly acceptable.  Since when did we allow men to stop being men, and allow them to stay in a boy state, and not grow up?  I cannot even blame the men really.  I blame women; it is because that we are willing to accept any and everything from a man in order to keep a man, or say that we have one.... therefore allowing them to slide by with nonsense.

 Women need to stop making excuses for them and allow them to be men.  Let’s take the example from above with the 42 year old man that live with his aunt and sister.  So eventually he asked me to tell me what was wrong with him, insisting that he was a nice guy, and in reality he was.  But my response was this.  I told him that I could not see myself entering a relationship with him because he did not have himself together.   He told me that he was living with his aunt and sister because she was sick and had no car because it broke down.  I did feel sad for a second but he was still not the one for me.  At the end of the day, we could not really date.  I would have to come to his house, pick him up, go on the date, take him home, and drive myself back home.  His lack of motivation of being a man was not going to work.  If he really planned on getting married, he would have to leave his aunt and his sister anyway….or at least I hope.  So if at this point and time he felt that he could not leave their home, then there would be not future for us.  I needed someone that was ready to be with me fully if we were to get married, and not have reasons as to why they could not move on to the next level.  So like I said, it would not have worked.   If you still think that I am being mean take a look at Ephesians 5:31 that says For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh and Genesis 2:24 that says That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  This is both in the New and Old Testament, so make no mistake about what I am saying in regards to this.

With that being said his reasoning was an excuse to me.  He called me materialistic but its whatever, what did he want me to say.  If you want more and desire more for yourself and from your mate, do not allow then to throw that word at you.  Since when did working hard so that you can achieve goals in life and wanting the same from a man equal materialism?  Since when did wanting a 42 year old man to have a place of his own materialism?  I think of it as something natural that a grown man would want to do at that age.  But I could be wrong…(I am being sarcastic, I am not wrong).  

 Some women may say it is mean, but this is what I am talking about women, hold men accountable!  I am a single mother and have worked hard in school education wise and in other areas of my life!  It was not easy, and while I wait for the one that God has planned for me, it is still not easy, therefore expecting the same from a male is not unreasonable.  In addition, as a 42 year old man even if he did live with his aunt because she was sick, then what was his excuse about not having a car.  To me that spells lazy.  You have a job, your living with you aunt; have minimal bills to pay, and you still have no car.  What are you doing with your money?  This spells immaturity, that at 42 your life is not together, you have no career choice and you do not have your life together.  For me that is a problem, and for you it should be a problem.

I am not trying to rag on this man.  What I am trying to do is show you how this really looks from the outside looking in for women to chase after men that have no type of husband material.  If you are in a relationship with a man like this, let go.  If you are single, then going forward do not enter a relationship like this.   For me, a single mother who I bring into my life as a mate will eventually be around my son, he needs to be an example for my son and exemplify what a man is supposed to be.  And for him, I did not feel that he could do that.  I felt that having him in my life would only add burden and not happiness.  If you are a single mother or for any women, when you are looking at dating a man, really think to yourself do I want my son to grow up and be like this man or think when I have a son do I want him to grow up and be this man.  Another question is if you would want your daughter to marry a man like this, or if you had a daughter would you want her to marry a man like this.  If the answer is no, then stop dating him and/or stop bringing him around your kids.