Saturday, November 30, 2013

Out of the Abundance of the heart the mouth speaks

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Sophia Reed MSHS  

Over the past few days there have been two Biblical verses that have been ringing in my head that I feel the need to speak on.  The first is: 

“The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth that which is good, and the evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth that which is evil, for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

And the second is

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21

These are two different verses found in two different part of the Bible, but essentially they say the same thing.  The main message of this verse is that your mouth has power.  So often we get into the idea of complaining and saying negative things out of our mouths.  But do you really think of how that negativity that is coming out of your mouth, affects you!  When reading the verse above it clearly states that the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  Therefore, if negativity is coming out of your mouth, then what does that say about your heart? And if your heart is negative, then what does that say about you as a person? 
Let’s just stop to reflect on where negativity starts.  When things start to get bad, we first start to think of how bad things are, then we start to complain about how bad things are, and then before we know it, complaining is all that we do and soon this is what consumes us.  Have you ever just encountered a person and everything that came out of their mouth was just so negative.  They did not just get like that in one day.  It started from within.  And what starts from within must come out, and when it comes out it comes out of the mouth! And when negativity comes out of your mouth you are speaking death to a situation.  Have you really reflecting on what speaking death to a situation means?  Every time you open your mouth and say that you can’t do something, or something is hard, or when you complain, or when anything comes out of your mouth that is negative, you are speaking DEATH.  You can be speaking death against your own progress, just by simply saying you CAN’T do something.  You can be speaking DEATH to your destiny, with what is coming out of your mouth. 

I will turn back this back to myself to use as an example.  There are many things that God has told.  Many things that seem almost impossible to reach.  I can chose to believe God and speak life into my situation or I can chose not to believe God and speak death.  

Now you may asked, what speaking life to a situation may look like?  Speaking life to your situation means getting up every day and thanking God for your future, even though you have not seen it yet.  It means speaking words of encouragement into yourself and other people.  It means speaking and doing as if things were, even though you have not quite gotten there yet.  It means transforming your heart, so that your mouth cannot even phantom saying something negative.  Speaking life means transforming your heart so that nothing but positive things comes out of your mouth.  And please believe, this is not an easy process, you are going to have to bridle your tongue and train your mouth.   But once you have mastered this skill, then what is impossible to you?!

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21

If we know that the tongue can bring death and you reap the consequences of that, imagine if you were to speak life how much consequence you can reap.  Not just speaking life into yourself and your situation but speaking life into others.  If you see your fellow sister or brother down, give them encouragement.  Speak life into them! Do not let your friend, family member, brother, or sister sit and be down around you.  Do not let them die! Even if they are sitting around complaining and speaking death into themselves, as their friend, co-worker, associate, or person just passing by,  speak life into them! It can make a world of a difference to them and for you.  For “of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” so if your heart is good, you should be speak good anyway.  And if you are a type of person that speaks negative, then I am sorry to say but your heart is corrupt.  It is not me saying this, but GOD!  So be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to anger.  Before you speak, think about what you’re saying.  Think about whether what you are saying is adding value to the conversation or taking away. Think about whether your words are speaking life to a situation or death.  If the answer is the latter, then it is best to not say anything at all.  I challenge everyone to examine your own heart and mouth.  Think about the things that you say and have said.  Purge yourself of complaining, negativity, and anything that comes out of your mouth that is negative and just speak life.  

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

In the dry Season

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In the Dry Season

Sophia Reed MSHS

I recently read and article in which a paster killed himself. In the article it quoted that the pastor's last sermon was about him feeling like he was talking to God and he felt as if God could not hear him or was not speaking back to him. I first want to note. that suicide is not the answer. Never make a temporary problem into a permanant solution. But I must also say that I can relate a lot to.what he was saying. Have you ever been in a season where you felt like you were talking to God and he was not talking back? Have you ever felt like you were begging God for a direction and he just was not answering? I have been in that place and it is one of the worst feelings in the world.....when your used to talking to God and all of a sudden there is a silence. I want to note that I do think God can be silent but i don't think it is torture us or to hurt us, sometimes there really just isn't anything to say. There have been times in which I was going through a dry season and I didn't know what God was doing nor would he tell me.

Looking back now I know there was no answer that God could have gave me that I would have been satisfied with understand. The only thing I was suppose to do was to trust God and go through the season and know that it if He loved me then everything will work out in the end. So many times we get into the mentality that God is disappointing us. We try to give God a "people" charateristic. We think that if wedon't feel God or if we do not hear him then he is not there. But I have come to learn that Gods ways are not our ways. God never leaves us but yes he may be silent. That does not mean that he's mad , or has forsaken us its just means its a time for everything and sometimes its just time to be silent. When God was silent with me it was because there was nothing that he wanted me to do other than what I was doing. I was going through a hard time and I thoguht that God was some how punishing me..I would cry and ask God what it was or what had I done and he would not respond back, it was like it could not even feel his presence . Now that the situation is over I see what God was doing. I see that there was nothing that needed to be done on my part except for to get through the hardship and to get through it as gracefully as possible. You see God could not tell me that because he knew that I would not understand and that I would moan and groan all the way. As we know from the book of Job, you could be good in God's sight, blameless, and still be put through both hell and high water. So why is that? Because we know that through hardships it builds both your faith and character as a follower. And I believe the more faith you have the more God can trust you with. That is why God tells us to whom much is given much is required. Its not that God will just require much but that you are going to go through much in order to get the reward. The bigger the hardship I am convinced the bigger the reward. So you just have to go through it. God is not going always going to tell you why or even speak to you in the process, he just wants you to rest assure in his word...and his word says that he will never leave you or forsake you. When God says something you can take that check to the bank and its a guarantee that it won't bounce. So in this season, if it seems dry, or lonley, or like God is just not there. Take heart and know that he is. It may just be time to do your part or just get through the season before God give you your next steps. But the important thing is to just keep going!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

My top Five Quotes Ch. 4-6 From my Upcoming Book ( unedited version)

Sophia Reed MSHS
Coming Soon 1/2014 Look For it!!!

1. The point I am trying to make is not everyone is good for you or means you well despite what you think or they say.  Actions speak louder than words.  If a person loves you, you should know it and there should be no second guessing.  Do I think it was meant for me to go through these situations?  Yes I do, because of the overall lessons I learned

2. If you are to get married, do you really think your husband is going to allow an ex-boyfriend or male friend that is interested in you hang around his wife?   I think not! So it is best to cut that off now.  Not only that, but having all these different men around you may be blocking the energy of the one that you are really meant for.  It is okay to be alone.  Yes it may be sad or de
pressing, but to carry on and on with people you know do not want you or that you do not want you is dumb, and not to mention a waste of time.

3. There is no sense in trying to convert.  Pray for his deliverance and keep it moving. I personally feel if a man does not believe in God or a higher power for that matter you are setting yourself up for failure.  What would tell them not to cheat, commit adultery; how to love you, whenever we get confused we can turn to God’s word for that.  If he doesn’t have anywhere to look to, or feels he is accountable to anyone, then he can go on doing anything without any sense of right or wrong.

4. The point of this story is to show you that as a single mother it is hard and I did not always do everything right.  However, in my mistakes God decided to bless me anyway.   He did so as long as I was willing to listen to Him. In my opinion, everyone was born to be great.  It is up to you weather you get there or not.

5. The main phrase that I like to remember is that tomorrow is not promised to anyone.  Therefore, live each day like it is your last.  That does not mean to be reckless, doing drugs, and drinking and driving.  Its means that you should strive to put your mark on this world one way or another.  Make your life matter, to somebody in this world.  Put a positive impact on this world.  It would be better in my opinion to have somebody change in a positive way because they knew you and because they meet you, then it is leave this world and people feel sorry for you, because you never did anything significant. For nobody to care if you were around or not, or being remembered for having a negative attitude all the time, or that you were the miserable psycho that everybody hated and everyone talked about behind your back.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Unhealthy Single Behaviors to Purge Yourself From

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Unhealthy Single Behaviors to Purge Yourself From

Sophia Reed MSHS

As far as relationships are concerned we all hear about people who want to be in relationships, but we never really think of the work that it takes in order for someone to have a successful relationship.  So here are some common behaviors that I myself had to purge myself of as a single woman and behaviors that I see in other women single women have that needs to be purged.

1.       Be a Giver- In case you did not know this.  Relationships are about giving.  If everyone in the relationships was always giving then the relationships would have a lot less problems.  So a single person, practice being a giver!  This does not always mean money.  It could be kind words, emotional support, a hug! Anything.  Many people come into relationships thinking “what can I get get” or “what can this person do for me.”  But get yourself out of that mind frame, do not think “what can I get” but rather “what can I give” in this relationship.

2.       Let Go.  Many times the reason why people remain single is because they do not want to let go of the past.  And by the past I mean the ex that you keep going back to even though to know that person is not for you, even though you know they told you that they do not want to be with you, or they have other women, or they don’t want to settle down…or a million or’s as for the reason that you are still hanging on to someone that does not want you.  Any person who wants to be with you, will!  Point, blank, period!!!  If for some reason they are not with you, then they are not your man, then MOVE ON!!!!

3.       Get some confidence.  There are so many people that believe that once they are in a relationship then they are complete.  A relationship does complete you, a relationship does give you confidence, it cannot do anything for you that you cannot do for yourself.  So if you are expecting a relationship to be the Savior to all of your problems, then you need to look for Jesus for that.  Be confident on your own.  When you are confident, you demand the type POSITIVE attention.  When you have low self-esteem, people can tell.  So if you are attracting a certain type of partner then you may need to have a self-reflective moment at what you are putting out.  Confidence will attract confidence person, and the opposite will have the adverse affect.  So if you are not right yourself, then get right, before bringing someone else in your circle.  
4.       Being Argumentative.  People confuse being argumentative with being confident.  When in fact that is NOT the case.  The Bible says

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.   Proverbs 21:9
A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike Proverbs 27:15

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24

A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.  Proverbs 19:13

So if all these verses want to speak about an argumentative women, then I think that says something.  Ladies sometimes you just have to SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!!  There is time and a way to say everything, you do not need to scream your point of view from the top of your lungs all the time.  Pick and choose your battles, and you do not always have to be right!!!!  Learn when to talk, and when to let things walk. Stating your opinion does not always mean, being argumentative.

5.       Let Go and Let God.  I think that being bitter can be one of the number one reasons why future relationships fail.  Do not let the past fails of relationships be the reason why your future relationships fail.  So what such and such did you wrong in the past?  Build a bridge and get over it. There is no reason why the man that you broke up with 10 years ago is still affecting your future relationships.  People have a hard time trusting, being committed, telling the truth and whole slew of other things because they claim that they have been damaged in past relationship.  There is no reason for that.  We have all had bad relationships, break up, friendship, you name it.  But that does not prevent us from moving on.  So if you have an excess of baggage from past relationships.  Get rid of it, because with it you will never be able to move on to successful relationship.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Five Quotes From The First Three Chapters Of My Upcoming Book ( unedited version) Waiting on a Man After God's Own Heart

Five Quotes From The First Three Chapters Of My Upcoming Book 

By Sophia Reed MSHS

1. “As I have matured, I look back now, and I feel that I am getting closer. I know this because I reflect on what God has done in my life, why He has done it, and where He is leading me.  This is something that I never did before.  I think before, I just made demands on God, and thought that as long as I followed Him, He would…no that He should give me what I wanted. As a matter of fact, I still struggle with that sometimes. I think the only difference now is that deep down I know better, and I am able to quickly see and recognize God’s plan for my life, despite my own selfish desires.”

2. “I am not going to fill you with fluff and say every day I thanked the Lord; it was not like that at all.  It was hard and hard to trust God. But like the Hebrews God brought me out.  He told me that He made me to be a survivor, to always get things done and not to depend on the hand out on others.  It taught me to trust God and not my own understanding, even though I had some angry conversations with God during that time.  He was always there, even when I didn’t think He was.”

3. “Since I felt like all the signs were there despite him treating me like crap, I felt he just needed time to come around.  But boy was I wrong.   As I mentioned and will mention it again, signs should be followed by action.  If he was the one for me, then at some point he should have been aware of this also.  The enemy can lead people astray and I felt this is exactly what happened with this guy, because it had the devil’s work written all over it.”

4. “I only really felt sorry for him because I could not understand that A. as a man and B. as a Christian he could behave this way toward another person.  Granted we are not all perfect, but to seek to intentionally harm another individual in the way that he has over the entire year of me knowing him was mind blowing. And to think I sat by and allowed him to do it is even more mind blowing.  I should have been out of there. “

5. “I truly believe this from the bottom of my heart.  I am just a woman that is waiting, for a good man.  I am a woman that has chosen to no longer settle, compromise, or dumb herself down just so men would not feel inadequate around me. I have done all of these things in the past.  If God put gifts in me, like I am sure He puts gifts in you.  He is going to give you a match of someone that has equal value.  I have come to learn that not every man that bats an eye in your direction, deserves your time.  I think as women, we have to understand that.  As women you need to walk with you head high, speak like you have home training, look nice, and be confident.  Give off the impression to men that if they cannot come correct, then they need not come at all.”

Look For Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart. Coming 2014!!!!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

You Complete Me?

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You Complete Me?

By Sophia Reed MSHS

It would seem that every since the Movie of Jerry McGuire the famous phrase to tell someone is that they complete you.  I know this sounds all romantic, but I would have to beg a differ.  I think that  this phrase sends the wrong message to people. Which is that someone needs someone else to complete them in a relationships in order for the relationship to be functional.  This may be why we have so many dysfunctional relationships going on in the world.  People expect for the person they are with to complete them. And when they feel they are not getting what they need from that person in order to feel complete; they move on in search for someone else.

Well, this is a news flash for you, do not expect anyone to complete you!  If you wait for someone to complete you in order to be happy, then you may be waiting for a very long time.  The point is, do not depend on someone else to make you happy, to do so would be giving that person way too much power over your emotions.  Do not wait until you are married until you feel like you can move forward into the next phase in your life, you can do these things now.

The main point that I am trying to make here is that you should be happy on your own and you should be completed on your own.  The only thing that the other person is going to come in and do is add onto the already awesome packaged called “yourself.”  Because if you depend on someone else for your happiness and that person never comes? Then what?  If you depend on someone else to complete you and they leave or disappoint you? Then what? Are you just going to fall apart.  Do you see what I mean. You have to have the strength to stand on your own.  When people see that you are confident on your own and that you are complete on your own, then people would be falling over themselves to be next to you.   Because they will feel like it is easy to be your friend and not feel responsible for your emotions.

No one wants to be around a needy and clingy person.  And at the end of the day, no relationship can survive like this.  Relationships are really about what you can give to the other person.  It is about what you can give to your partner, and your partner giving to you.  If in a relationship, everyone was always focused on giving, then the relationships would go a lot smoother.  However, if you are waiting on someone to complete you, then guess what, you have nothing to give to the other person.  You do not even have enough to give to complete yourself.  Therefore you have to think about that when you are looking for someone to complete you.  There the ones that are completing you, but what are they getting out of it?

Therefore, do not look for anyone to complete you.  That is because there is no one else out there that can complete such task, with the exception of God.   If you feel that you are in a place that you are not complete, then the last thing that you should be looking for is a relationship.  You need to be looking for yourself, and figure out whatever it is that you need to go do until you do feel complete on your own.  Then you can go out and find someone to add to you.  But while you are incomplete do not go around trying to find and/or expect someone to add to your already dysfunctional self.  It is not fair to them.  Be fair, and the type of partner that adds on to someone life, not someone that is incomplete and expect to be added on to.  Do not leave the responsibility of you being happy on someone else head.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

What Message Are You sending

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I was watching a reality show the other day called Find Me My Man.  Most of these women on there are seriously wrong and misguided. For example, one woman was a lawyer, when she went on the first date (which was a mock date with a date coach) she proceeded to tell him all the piercings that she had on her body as well as other sexual innuendoes.  But yet she said that she wanted a gentleman.  How on Earth could she want a gentleman, when she was not even a lady?  I have seen women that do not care about how they look, do not have a job, do not even have their own or steady place to live, that will demand a man that works in business, keeps themselves well groomed, and has their own place to live.  These women are often shocked when they are looked over.  Let’s look at this picture here.  After this man has worked hard to get what they have and be where they are at, why on Earth would they waste that on the type of women I just described.  

When women enter into a relationship we need to begin to bring something to the table.  Let’s switch around the tables for a bit.  If you made 6 figures, travel on a regular basis, and in the cooperate world, are you going to want a high school dropout that has no goals in life,  only knows about boxed wine, and has not traveled outside of their state….let alone the country.  Therefore women, be what you asked for in a mate.  What type of mate do you want?  Let’s talk about the above example and let’s say this is your mate (6 figures, travels, cooperate, whatever).  Then the type of women you need to be is this.  You need to dress and look well, because other women will be after your man if he is all of that (I am just keeping in real) and although men are expected to be faithful, let’s not tempt things by you walking around looking like who did it and what for all the time, men are visual.  That is not going to turn them on and it is not going to turn their eyes toward you. 

You also need to know a little something about a little something.  That means you will be going to Christmas parties, country clubs, and other things that six figure people do.  So you need to know about wine, exotics foods, the proper pronunciation of exotic foods, how to speak properly, proper table etiquette, and how to speak like you actually have intelligence.    

The way I see it is like this.  Is a million dollar man going to walk into a “bring your own bottle” after hours spot and swept you off your feet ….no he is not….unless he is lost. So why on Earth would you even be at this pace in the first place.  Why are you choosing to hang around places where people get shot, do drugs, where the police have to be on the outside of the club to regulate things?  You are not going to find the man you want there, unless you want a thug.  If you want a man to that goes to nice places, you are not going to meet him in the places I just mentioned.  They are going to be in a place that you actually have to dress up to go to, so why are you going to places other than that is confusing to me.  You are setting yourself up for failure and you are absorbing the ignorance around you while you are in those places, dumbing yourself down, instead of building yourself up for the man that is planned for you.    

Also let’s take a look at what you wear.  If your breast, butt, vaginal lips, can be seen by what you are wearing.  Then take it off.  When a man sees this he is going to think you are easy.  It is going to attract the wrong type of attention and your time will be wasted on men that only see you as a sex object.  Why on Earth would a real Christian going man be attracted to that.  As a matter of fact, most real men that are not believers will not be attracted to that.  Some women make the mistake of thinking that showing this gets you attention.  It does, but it gets you the wrong type of attention.  If you dress like a street walker, then how can you expect to catch a man on Wall Street?  You are on two separate sides of town entirely, one is in uptown and the other is in the slums.   

Friday, November 1, 2013

A Gut Feeling or God's Voice? Is it Discernment?

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I was having a conversation with a fellow Christian last night and I was telling her how I have been sick that was associated with stress and difficult people I had been dealing with. She told me to consider that perhaps I was not sick but rather the Holy Spirit in me, sense the ill intentions, demonic spirits, hatred, envy, of others, and that me being sick is the Holy spirits reaction to that when I am around them....that and its way of letting me know not to trust the situation or perhaps even the person. I thought that this was a very interesting. When you think of the idea of discernment, when it is from God it is essentially telling you the intent of others.

When dealing with gifts, I think we never really know how some of these gifts may manifest.  Who is to say that when you are given discernment God may tell you out  right what is going on, but for me it may cause me to get sick.  For a long time now, years in fact, when dealing with difficult situations and difficult people my intestines are the first ones to get upset.  I always looked at it as some diseased or dysfunction, but when I really thought about it.  The only time that it gets upset it under certain situations when dealing with certain people (typically bad ones).  It is possible that sometimes even thinking about dealing with that person I could start to feel sick.  I guess the point that I am trying to make is that we always try to go and find some hectic complicated answer for something, when in fact the answer could be so simple.  It could just be God’s way of talking to us or trying to get our attention.  When I came to this realization, it kind of gave me relief that I am not going to die of some strange stomach virus.  It also gave me relief to know that the Holy Spirit is becoming larger and larger within in me, that it is not even going to allow me to stay in the presence of those that mean me know harm.  WOW!  When you really think about that, it is amazing.  It’s like God is grabbing my attention saying Sophia, "move on!!!" This place is not for you, this person is not for you, this relationship is not for you!

And when you really of this like that, there really is no reason why you should go through life hanging around bad people and making bad decisions.  I think that when God gives us the gift of discernment it can come in many ways.  It can be a voice, chill, stomach ache, or a feeling that only you could know.  I think God talks to us all the time throughout the day, and as we develop a closer ear to hear and understand His voice, signs, and emotions that He is giving us, then will we always know where to go and what it is that He wants us to do.  He is always taking and communicating, but are you listening?  I challenge you to examine yourself when you have made both good and back choices.  Try to find the ways in which God has tried to warn you about the bad.  This was you can find how God is trying to get you to discern things.  For me, it is a GUT!!! Feeling, LITERALLY.  And instead of fighting it, now I will trust it, and let it lead me to the right people and places and lead me away from the wrong once.