Sunday, August 30, 2015

My Top 3 Bad Online Dating Stories

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Story time.  Listen to my bad online dating experiences on three separate sites., Black people meet, and Plenty of fish. 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

5 Types of Men To Stay Away From

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Check out my latest video of five types of men that women should not date. 

Friday, August 14, 2015

People Are Made For Real Relationships Not Casual Encounters and Hook ups

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It seems as though people are starting to believe that humans are not made to mate for life and that we are meant to be with everyone at anyone and monogamy is somehow outdated.  This is insane to me.  Human beings were made in God’s image which means that we are not like animals.  We should not go around randomly having sex with a bunch of people and not connect on a deeper level.  This is not what we, as humans were made for.

Even if you do not understand the whole God dynamic, then understand that as women; scientifically we release hormones after sex that cause us to feel more attached to a person.  We were made to fall in love, and not jump from one person to the next with a whole slew of casual encounters.  It seems as if so many women and men are used to these “hook ups”  that even when they sleep with each other they do not know how to emotionally connect anymore.  They have learned to turn that part of themselves off.

Sex is supposed to be an extension of love or a deeper connection that you have with a person.  Yes its fun and it feels good. But it will feel a whole lot better if you actually love that person, want to grow with that person, and want a future with that person.  Not someone that after you are finish you have to leave or they leave and they do not even want to cuddle or touch you afterward.  And it is even worse if you are trying to convince yourself that this is how modern “relationships” work.

I have heard some women who do not want a relationship they only want sex and they somehow feel as though they are winning in these situations.  They tell me that when they are done they can just send the man about their own way, like they are the one getting the benefit or using him.  Umm no he is using you.  He is getting to have sex with you, have his satisfaction, and go home to girlfriend number 1-10 where he does the same thing with him and have the same type of “relationship” with them.

If you have a hard day and you want to talk to someone, you cannot even talk to him.  You cannot share things with him that you cannot share with anyone else.  You cannot experience the actual love part that goes on in the “love making” process.  I am sure the sex is like a porno.  No connection and just a bunch of pounding and roughness. But somehow, women seem to think that they are winning in this situation.  That this is good and that casual sex is something to strive for.

And men, they simply do not know any better.  One of my female friends went out with and slept with a man in which the sex was awful.  And she tried to talk to him about it and he said that he learned how to have sex from porn.  They soon broke up because of inability to be a boyfriend.  You see, this is where casual sex gets you.  In fact I dated a man a few years back before my celibacy days and he said that he had never been in love before.  He describe his sex as just a wham bam thank you man type situation and did not feel anything was wrong with it.  In fact, he thought that is what a women enjoyed.  And why shouldn’t he think that.  Women have more than likely slept with him and he practice his porn star sex techniques and they both went home thinking that this is something strive for.  Casual sex is the “thing” to do.  They tell themselves “Do not get attached, do not strive for relationships, pass yourself around, and be with everyone.”

And this is truly sad.  Not only is it sad, but this is why our marriage and relationships are falling part.  When people do try to get married, they get married off of sex.  When they have problems the do not know how to deal with them because they never had an emotional connection with one another, and it is too much work to deal with problems.  Or work things out with one another.  For many people, it is better to give up on a marriage and move on to another then it is to actually work through problems with one another.

At the end of the day, we all get old.  Beauty fades for all of us, I do not care how much plastic surgery you get.  And if people are basing their “relationships” off of beauty and sex alone, the they will never be fulfilled.  And human beings are not made like the animals around us, we are made to have emotional connections with one another.  To build some deeper and better that goes beyond animals in heat mating in the jungle.  We were made for monogamy, to love and be loved.  And when we except that, instead of accepting this “sleep with everyone and have a relationships with no one” mentality, that is when we will start seeing healthier and happier couples.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Why I Don't Have Sex?

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Check Out My Video On Why I Decided To Stop Having Sex 

How To Talk To God?

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It it surprising to me how many Christians are unaware that they can speak to God and that God actually speaks back.  After all, when you think about it, isn’t this the basis of Christianity.  After Jesus died there was something that we call the Pentecost in which the Holy spirit came into believer.
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“When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place.  Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.  They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.  All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”
Acts 2:1-5 

So the idea of the Holy Spirit is confusing to some people since on the day of Pentecost, people spoke in tongues and different languages.  But that is not just what the Holy Spirit is about.

“Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not!” Corinthians 12:30

So here you see that Holy Spirit is not about speaking in tongues, or even healing.  The Holy Spirit gives different gifts in different ways.  It is about the direction that God gives us in order to go about our lives.  For this reason, I do not understand why so many people trust other people in what God has to say for their lives.  I mean can’t they hear God themselves?  Of course we can go to other people and get confirmation, however to trust solely on what other people tell us about our lives is not wise.  Because they may not understand what God is telling you, they may discourage you from what God is telling you, and that is the reason why God is telling you not them.

The thing about the Holy Spirit is that the Holy Spirit will speak to you in a way that is best for you.  I feel that this can include words or pictures.  In whatever way that God chooses to talk to you is the way that He chooses to talk to you, and you must be open to the way that God speaks you in order to hear God clearly.  And being able to recognize the fact that God talks you makes it easier to hear God talking to you.

I guess that I am getting at is that so many people ask how they can talk to God or how they can hear from God?  Well it is easy just simply open up your mind, your hear, and be receptive to what God has to say to you.  It may take some practice at first, to hear what God is saying or knowing that God is actually speaking to you, but once you do; you will know where God is leading you, what He is telling you to do, and then you cannot go wrong. Listening to God and knowing God’s voice will help prevent you going down the wrong path and doing a whole bunch of stupid stuff

I can recall so many times that I heard God not telling me to do something or get involved with someone, and me doing it anyway causing myself a harm because I should have listened to God.  I can recall that listening to God has kept me out of trouble.  Trouble that I did not even know what coming at the time was going to be trouble. Just because the idea of talking to God may sound crazy in this day and age where so many people are moving away from the traditional value of God, does not mean that we still cannot communicate with God.  And allowing someone to tell you that talking to God and Him talking back to you is crazy will only undermine your belief system.  What is Christianity if only about having a relationships with God?  What is the whole point of the Holy Spirit?  Do you think God is just sitting there hoping that we get things right?  Or do you think that He has sent his spirit down done to us so that if we listen to it we know that we will get things right.

To all those people saying that I am crazy for talking to God and believing that He talks, back, I can tell them I can name a whole bunch of crazy going on in the world today that will override  the notion that me hearing from God is crazy.

Image result for hearing from godIn closing if you want to hear from God you can, open your mind and even your mouth to do so, and it is as easy as that.  I can recall when I was talking to God, I was not even aware that I was talking to Him.  I would just have a conversation with myself in my head and a voice would speak back to me and tell me what to do, console me, or make me feel better.  This went on for years before I realized that it was God talking to me.  See no one had ever told me that we could talk to God in that way and He could talk back.  I had to figure it out on my own.

 Which is why I am saving you time and telling you.  So that is about all for this post people, I hope you understand what I am saying and practice in your daily communication with God.  Trust me it helps.

Monday, July 6, 2015

The Single Girl Tag, Why I am Still Single. And Why I Love Being Single.

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Family Times Can Be The Best Time. My 4th of July Weekend VLOG

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This past weekend was not only the fourth of July Weekend but it was also my son's 7th birthday.  I went to visit my cousin in Jacksonville, NC.  People who know me know that I do not like spending money.  Spending money is not needed for you, your child, or your family to have a good time.  Here is my VLOG on what I did for my son's birthday and for my 4th of July weekend.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Is America Becoming Anti-Christian?

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The separation between church and state is something that most Americans are rooting for.  But why?  When our country was not founded off the separation of church and state, in fact it was founded of basic Biblical principals.  Before this nation went on this crusade to have a God free nation, I feel like we had a lot less problems in this country.
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When you look at the idea of America.  Look at our money that says “In God we Trust.”  Our pledge of alliance that says “One nation under God.”  And in our court system when they use to place their hand on the Bible and give the famous quote that we all know “ I swear to tell the truth the whole truth so help me God.” Is now taboo, in the United States that we are living in.

I will not get into the whole passing of gay marriage or the recent agenda’s to get rid of the Christianity that our nation has been built on  The bigger picture is that we need to look at all of this and determine what in the world is going on here.  Christians are no longer being seen as good people but rather as intolerant crazy people who do not want to change with the times.

The last time I checked, God was the same now, then, and forever.  All the stuff that has gone on in the world and that is going on in the world today has been seen and predicted by God.  And guess what, as Christians we can chose to recognize what is going on and prepare for it, or let go of our senses and go with popular culture.

Image result for american anti christianWhen you look at the news with the shooting of a church.  And it all was soon forgotten as soon as the supreme court passed gay marriage.  What is going on in our world we we as people have become so fickle. Fox news reports that the 10 commandants are to be removed from the court building where it has been sitting and causing no one harm to anyone for all of this time.  What is the sudden urge to erase Christianity from our nation’s history, when it is our nations history.

In the United States we are screaming our freedom from the mountain tops, but where are the freedom for Christians.  And if we do not stay diligent and keep our eyes open, we will miss it all together.  I cannot tell you how many news reports I have seen that talk about the “Doomsday Christian” that speaks out about the end of the world every time something bad happens.  And they mock us as if believing in the Bible and being watchful as to what God tells us to be watchful is crazy.

But the end of the world is coming sooner or later.  And overtime we have become desensitized to the weirdness and wrongdoings of the world.  I do not care how progressive the world gets, it does not seem right to me that there are some people in the world that are half man and half woman.  They have gotten breast put on their body but still have a penis.  But for some reason or another, people being half male and half female has become completely normal, and to question this, means that we are unaccepting.  

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Have we ever stop to think about what God would think about all of this.  Are we so busy trying to be open and accepting to everyone that our morals are just becoming a circus.  And for me to even say this is unpopular I am sure.   Christian people that either are afraid to say that because of what other people may think, or Christians somehow feel that the word of God is outdated.

Either you believe that God’s word is true now, then, and forever or you think it is something that can be changed by man.  And if you think that it is something that can be changed by man then you mine as well say that you do not believe in God at all.  Because believing in God is understanding that God is all knowing, He created everything, knowing that He is unable to lie, and knowing that what God wants us and commands us to do is the truth.

I am going to tell you a little true story about myself.  At a job I was in, my supervisor was gay and she invited me to her wedding.  I chose not to go.  However, I did not hate her as a person, I just did not want to go to her wedding.  Just like if she did not want to come to my wedding I would have to accept that.  Well she did not accept it.  She knew I was a Christian and chose to openly persecute me for not wanting to go to her wedding.  For not believing in what she wanted me to believe in.  This was done on a smaller scale, but can you imagine that this type persecution are going to happen to Christians everywhere.  We are not going to be allowed to practice our beliefs and be left alone, but rather other people’s beliefs are going to be forced on us.  And if we refused to accept others people’s belief, then we are going to be seen as intolerant.

Now you may think I am going too far, but these things have already happened.  Christians have been sued because they did not want to make a gay couples wedding cake, a firefighter fired for openly praying with a man that was dying, a child in suspended from school for saying God bless you when a fellow class mate sneezed.  Is this freedom of religion why have so many Christians gotten in trouble for trying to verbalize their beliefs?  Just some food for through for you to digest in your system for the day.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

I Must Be The Poster Child For Bad Dates #Storytime Another Bad Date Story

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Image result for bad datesSometimes I think that I am the poster child for bad dates.  But the I think the bigger issue is not the bad date but rather the changes of men and how they are willing to treat women.  In case you are wondering what in the world I am talking about.  Let me explain my most recent bad date to you.

This past weekend I had to go to a school conference.  There I saw a man that I met at a previous school conference and I will be honest at the fact that I was not really feeling him then and I did not see any reason to change my opinion.  However, I tend to be very picky and he appeared to be a nice man so when I met him this time he offered to take me to dinner later in the evening, I agreed.

Now just to give you a word of advice ladies, if a man offers to take you to dinner wait for him to call.  That is his job.  A list of things that you do not do are:

  • Call him all day to make sure that he did not forget about you.  
  • Offer to go dutch. 
  • Offer to drive. 
  • Meet him after work or class in a designated spot at an exact time. 

It is okay to set up a time that you want to meet for the date.  Like in this case I knew he wanted to meet after class.  But after class I went right up to my hotel room.  If he called then great, if not then whatever.  I was not going to go to his class and wait outside his door for him to come out so that we could go to dinner.  Because what if he changed his mind then you would be looking dumb waiting for him.  I feel that you can weigh a man’s seriousness about you when he follows through on the things he said he is going to do.  And it just so happened that this man did that.  After class I got a text asking me was I ready to go to dinner and I agreed.

Image result for worst datesFrom there I met him in the lobby where we proceeded to go on our date.  He opened the door and was very sweet at first.  This is a disclaimer:

Women that even if a man appears to be nice, things can change because they may have an anterior motive on their mind as you will soon see in this case.

After we had dinner everything was all good.  We had  normal conversation and even talked about church.  He seemed like a good man, that is until after dinner he tried to convince me to come back to his room so that we could drink wine together.  To be honest this was not a terrible request that he asked me to come to his room because men typically will try their luck.  What was terrible that even after I said I was not going to his room, he still decided to go to his hotel anyway and coheres me out of the car to go to his room to drink wine.  I already knew I was not getting out of the car.  I knew I was not going to his room to drink wine, for what?

There are several things wrong with this picture:

  • I did not know him. 
  •  That drink could have been drugged. 
  •  He was more than likely trying to get me drunk to have sex with him. 
  •  He was being way too pushy by disregarding my statement and trying to make me go to his hotel after I told him no. 

There are always red flags with people if you really pay attention.  Now some women might have said,

“He has a very good paying job, he took me on a pretty good date, he showed interest in me, and so I mine as well go to his room on the first date.”

WRONG! Just because a man is a good man on paper does not mean that he has all rights to your body and your vagina.  I do not care how much money he has or what he drives.

After him seeing that I was not getting out of the car to go to his room, he then decided that HE wanted to go to a club.  We settled on going to a club/bar.  I personally do not think that a club is good to go to on a first date.  How can you get to know one another over the music while bumping and grinding against one another.  Needless to say, we went to the lounge, I took a picture (as seen here) and then he suggested that we take some pictures together that I will not show you.  The place was nice, we decided to sit and have some drinks.  We only had two drinks but then the real him came out.  This is when I had to fight against a sexual predictor (mild joke).

From this point on he tried to kiss me several times even though I turned my head to show him that I was not trying to kiss him.  He tried to get me to sit on his lap, which as you can see from the picture I had on a dress.  I was not going to sit on his lap in the middle of a lounge and have my butt hanging out.  And he snuck feels on my butt and other parts of my body several times, which pissed me off even more.  What gave him the right to touch me without my permission?

Needless to say it was 12am and I was ready to go.  We did have to go to class in the morning.  He did not want to leave.  As a matter of fact he wanted to dance.  I love dancing by the way, I was just not going to dance with him.  He already showed me he had some boundary issues.  And so I stood there telling him I was ready to go which he ignored and simply got behind me and began grinding his pelvis against my butt as I stood there.

So lets recap.
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Me saying that I did not want to dance was not enough, me standing there and not moving was not enough.  He chose to actually push up against my backside and he was dancing all his own because I was just standing there irritated.  This happened perhaps about 5 times as I tried to make my way to the door.

Then as we went back to the car, he opened the door and decided to feel me up and down at this point, literally, HE SLID HIS HAND FROM MY THIGH TO MY BUTT,  as I was getting in the car.  And I guess he wanted to try his luck again because at this point he invited me to go back to his hotel, take a bath, and spend the night. Which of course I said. NO.

 Please tell me I am not the only women in the world that thinks that this man is crazy!

After getting back to my hotel, which I would have been happy if he dropped me off in the front of the hotel and went on his way.  But he had to walk me into the hotel were he tried to kiss me again, which I refused.  He then followed me in the elevator, I think to molest me again.  But he never got the chance because a third person got into the elevator with us.  THANK GOD.  And that was the end of our date.  Over the weekend he proceeded to want to take me out again, but to me that was a no thanks.  I do not like feeling violated when dating someone.

Image result for bad dateThe real issue here is why did he feel that this behavior was acceptable.  I think a bigger picture is that he must have tried this behavior on a date before and it worked out for him.  That is the only reason why he would try it again, and think it was okay.  My message to women, is to not accept this type of behavior.  This man made six figures, drove a range rover, had two homes, and was getting a PhD.  But so what?  All this does not give him rights to your body.  And it does not mean they have the right to disrespect you.  Therefore, under all situations weather we are lonely or not, we must not let go of ourselves or our dignity and allow men to treat us any kind of way.  Know what I am saying.  I hope you do.  Until next time folks.