Monday, July 6, 2015

Family Times Can Be The Best Time. My 4th of July Weekend VLOG

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This past weekend was not only the fourth of July Weekend but it was also my son's 7th birthday.  I went to visit my cousin in Jacksonville, NC.  People who know me know that I do not like spending money.  Spending money is not needed for you, your child, or your family to have a good time.  Here is my VLOG on what I did for my son's birthday and for my 4th of July weekend.


Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Is America Becoming Anti-Christian?

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The separation between church and state is something that most Americans are rooting for.  But why?  When our country was not founded off the separation of church and state, in fact it was founded of basic Biblical principals.  Before this nation went on this crusade to have a God free nation, I feel like we had a lot less problems in this country.
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When you look at the idea of America.  Look at our money that says “In God we Trust.”  Our pledge of alliance that says “One nation under God.”  And in our court system when they use to place their hand on the Bible and give the famous quote that we all know “ I swear to tell the truth the whole truth so help me God.” Is now taboo, in the United States that we are living in.

I will not get into the whole passing of gay marriage or the recent agenda’s to get rid of the Christianity that our nation has been built on  The bigger picture is that we need to look at all of this and determine what in the world is going on here.  Christians are no longer being seen as good people but rather as intolerant crazy people who do not want to change with the times.

The last time I checked, God was the same now, then, and forever.  All the stuff that has gone on in the world and that is going on in the world today has been seen and predicted by God.  And guess what, as Christians we can chose to recognize what is going on and prepare for it, or let go of our senses and go with popular culture.

Image result for american anti christianWhen you look at the news with the shooting of a church.  And it all was soon forgotten as soon as the supreme court passed gay marriage.  What is going on in our world we we as people have become so fickle. Fox news reports that the 10 commandants are to be removed from the court building where it has been sitting and causing no one harm to anyone for all of this time.  What is the sudden urge to erase Christianity from our nation’s history, when it is our nations history.


In the United States we are screaming our freedom from the mountain tops, but where are the freedom for Christians.  And if we do not stay diligent and keep our eyes open, we will miss it all together.  I cannot tell you how many news reports I have seen that talk about the “Doomsday Christian” that speaks out about the end of the world every time something bad happens.  And they mock us as if believing in the Bible and being watchful as to what God tells us to be watchful is crazy.

But the end of the world is coming sooner or later.  And overtime we have become desensitized to the weirdness and wrongdoings of the world.  I do not care how progressive the world gets, it does not seem right to me that there are some people in the world that are half man and half woman.  They have gotten breast put on their body but still have a penis.  But for some reason or another, people being half male and half female has become completely normal, and to question this, means that we are unaccepting.  

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Have we ever stop to think about what God would think about all of this.  Are we so busy trying to be open and accepting to everyone that our morals are just becoming a circus.  And for me to even say this is unpopular I am sure.   Christian people that either are afraid to say that because of what other people may think, or Christians somehow feel that the word of God is outdated.

Either you believe that God’s word is true now, then, and forever or you think it is something that can be changed by man.  And if you think that it is something that can be changed by man then you mine as well say that you do not believe in God at all.  Because believing in God is understanding that God is all knowing, He created everything, knowing that He is unable to lie, and knowing that what God wants us and commands us to do is the truth.

I am going to tell you a little true story about myself.  At a job I was in, my supervisor was gay and she invited me to her wedding.  I chose not to go.  However, I did not hate her as a person, I just did not want to go to her wedding.  Just like if she did not want to come to my wedding I would have to accept that.  Well she did not accept it.  She knew I was a Christian and chose to openly persecute me for not wanting to go to her wedding.  For not believing in what she wanted me to believe in.  This was done on a smaller scale, but can you imagine that this type persecution are going to happen to Christians everywhere.  We are not going to be allowed to practice our beliefs and be left alone, but rather other people’s beliefs are going to be forced on us.  And if we refused to accept others people’s belief, then we are going to be seen as intolerant.


Now you may think I am going too far, but these things have already happened.  Christians have been sued because they did not want to make a gay couples wedding cake, a firefighter fired for openly praying with a man that was dying, a child in suspended from school for saying God bless you when a fellow class mate sneezed.  Is this freedom of religion why have so many Christians gotten in trouble for trying to verbalize their beliefs?  Just some food for through for you to digest in your system for the day.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

I Must Be The Poster Child For Bad Dates #Storytime Another Bad Date Story

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Image result for bad datesSometimes I think that I am the poster child for bad dates.  But the I think the bigger issue is not the bad date but rather the changes of men and how they are willing to treat women.  In case you are wondering what in the world I am talking about.  Let me explain my most recent bad date to you.

This past weekend I had to go to a school conference.  There I saw a man that I met at a previous school conference and I will be honest at the fact that I was not really feeling him then and I did not see any reason to change my opinion.  However, I tend to be very picky and he appeared to be a nice man so when I met him this time he offered to take me to dinner later in the evening, I agreed.

Now just to give you a word of advice ladies, if a man offers to take you to dinner wait for him to call.  That is his job.  A list of things that you do not do are:

  • Call him all day to make sure that he did not forget about you.  
  • Offer to go dutch. 
  • Offer to drive. 
  • Meet him after work or class in a designated spot at an exact time. 


It is okay to set up a time that you want to meet for the date.  Like in this case I knew he wanted to meet after class.  But after class I went right up to my hotel room.  If he called then great, if not then whatever.  I was not going to go to his class and wait outside his door for him to come out so that we could go to dinner.  Because what if he changed his mind then you would be looking dumb waiting for him.  I feel that you can weigh a man’s seriousness about you when he follows through on the things he said he is going to do.  And it just so happened that this man did that.  After class I got a text asking me was I ready to go to dinner and I agreed.

Image result for worst datesFrom there I met him in the lobby where we proceeded to go on our date.  He opened the door and was very sweet at first.  This is a disclaimer:

Women that even if a man appears to be nice, things can change because they may have an anterior motive on their mind as you will soon see in this case.


After we had dinner everything was all good.  We had  normal conversation and even talked about church.  He seemed like a good man, that is until after dinner he tried to convince me to come back to his room so that we could drink wine together.  To be honest this was not a terrible request that he asked me to come to his room because men typically will try their luck.  What was terrible that even after I said I was not going to his room, he still decided to go to his hotel anyway and coheres me out of the car to go to his room to drink wine.  I already knew I was not getting out of the car.  I knew I was not going to his room to drink wine, for what?

There are several things wrong with this picture:

  • I did not know him. 
  •  That drink could have been drugged. 
  •  He was more than likely trying to get me drunk to have sex with him. 
  •  He was being way too pushy by disregarding my statement and trying to make me go to his hotel after I told him no. 


There are always red flags with people if you really pay attention.  Now some women might have said,

“He has a very good paying job, he took me on a pretty good date, he showed interest in me, and so I mine as well go to his room on the first date.”

WRONG! Just because a man is a good man on paper does not mean that he has all rights to your body and your vagina.  I do not care how much money he has or what he drives.


After him seeing that I was not getting out of the car to go to his room, he then decided that HE wanted to go to a club.  We settled on going to a club/bar.  I personally do not think that a club is good to go to on a first date.  How can you get to know one another over the music while bumping and grinding against one another.  Needless to say, we went to the lounge, I took a picture (as seen here) and then he suggested that we take some pictures together that I will not show you.  The place was nice, we decided to sit and have some drinks.  We only had two drinks but then the real him came out.  This is when I had to fight against a sexual predictor (mild joke).

From this point on he tried to kiss me several times even though I turned my head to show him that I was not trying to kiss him.  He tried to get me to sit on his lap, which as you can see from the picture I had on a dress.  I was not going to sit on his lap in the middle of a lounge and have my butt hanging out.  And he snuck feels on my butt and other parts of my body several times, which pissed me off even more.  What gave him the right to touch me without my permission?

Needless to say it was 12am and I was ready to go.  We did have to go to class in the morning.  He did not want to leave.  As a matter of fact he wanted to dance.  I love dancing by the way, I was just not going to dance with him.  He already showed me he had some boundary issues.  And so I stood there telling him I was ready to go which he ignored and simply got behind me and began grinding his pelvis against my butt as I stood there.

So lets recap.
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Me saying that I did not want to dance was not enough, me standing there and not moving was not enough.  He chose to actually push up against my backside and he was dancing all his own because I was just standing there irritated.  This happened perhaps about 5 times as I tried to make my way to the door.

Then as we went back to the car, he opened the door and decided to feel me up and down at this point, literally, HE SLID HIS HAND FROM MY THIGH TO MY BUTT,  as I was getting in the car.  And I guess he wanted to try his luck again because at this point he invited me to go back to his hotel, take a bath, and spend the night. Which of course I said. NO.

 Please tell me I am not the only women in the world that thinks that this man is crazy!

After getting back to my hotel, which I would have been happy if he dropped me off in the front of the hotel and went on his way.  But he had to walk me into the hotel were he tried to kiss me again, which I refused.  He then followed me in the elevator, I think to molest me again.  But he never got the chance because a third person got into the elevator with us.  THANK GOD.  And that was the end of our date.  Over the weekend he proceeded to want to take me out again, but to me that was a no thanks.  I do not like feeling violated when dating someone.

Image result for bad dateThe real issue here is why did he feel that this behavior was acceptable.  I think a bigger picture is that he must have tried this behavior on a date before and it worked out for him.  That is the only reason why he would try it again, and think it was okay.  My message to women, is to not accept this type of behavior.  This man made six figures, drove a range rover, had two homes, and was getting a PhD.  But so what?  All this does not give him rights to your body.  And it does not mean they have the right to disrespect you.  Therefore, under all situations weather we are lonely or not, we must not let go of ourselves or our dignity and allow men to treat us any kind of way.  Know what I am saying.  I hope you do.  Until next time folks.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Being My Most Beautiful Self, My Video Submission To Be The Next It Girl, Sponsored By It Cosmetics #VoteITGirl

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For those who do not know know I am have been starting my Youtube Channel.  It is my passion to promote beauty from both the inside and out.  I have decided to enter the It Girl Contest Sponsored By It Cosmetics In which I Show My Most Beautiful Self.  Check out the video and do not forget to share, subscribe, and give a thumbs up.

God Bless,

Sophia




Single Mother's Dealing With Dead Beat Dads On Father's Day

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If you read my blog then you know that I am a single mother.  Not just a single mother, but a single mother in which my son’s father is, not ever a father.  What motivated me to write this post is that as father’s day is ending, for my son and I; it really is just another day.

Of course we called male family members and wished them a happy father’s day.  But as for my son spending time with his father that is something that he does not know.  And guess what?  That is okay.  There is no bitterness, anger, or any type of animosity attached to my son’s father not being a father.  My son is almost 7 years old and his father has not ever been a father; so not having a father is normal to him.

I am not going to harp on my son not having dad, but instead offer encouragement and hope to all those single mother out there that sit alone on fathers day in a state of depression over the fact that their children has no one to celebrate father’s day with.

The first piece of advice that I can give you, is that you cannot change anyone.  If they do not want to be involved in your child’s life then that is their problem.  Do not beat yourself up about it or get yourself down on their mistake.

I am sure my son’s father is sitting around somewhere thinking that someone has robbed him of a father’s day.  Making up lies in his head that he has made as his own truth, telling himself that it is not fair.  But that is the state of selfish people.  On mother’s day, no matter what is done or not done for me; I am a mother.  No one is going to take that away from me.  No matter if I get a gift or not.  Spending time with my wonderful son all on our own, is enough for me.

Just as I am also sure, that there are some dead beat dads out there who could care less that it is father’s day nor do they care what their children are doing.  Whatever their mind set is; who cares.  It is not our problem as a single mother to care about their mindset or their shortcomings as fathers.  After all, as single mother we do our job.

And doing your job as single mother does not mean that your household runs perfect everyday.  Being a mother means that you are there for your child and they know you are there for them no matter what.  Although I want my child to have a good father one day; if that day never comes I am sure that he had a really good mother.  One that was perfect for him and that loved and nurtured him beyond a shadow of a doubt.  And I will not let it be diminished by the fact that his father,well for a lack of a better word sucks.

And so today what my son and I did looked something like what we do almost everyday.  We spent time together.  We laughed, joked, ate, and played video games.  And it was all good.  I was not thinking about him not having a father on father’s day, just like he was not thinking that.  And if my son did question me about it; I just talk to my son and be honest with him.


I do not bad mouth my son’s father to my son; but I am honest.  So many mother think they have to lie and cover up the inadequacies of their child’s father. So many single mother do this.  But why?  If they are a bad father do not try to convince your child that they are a good one.  My son once told me that he felt it was his fault as to why his father did not see him.  I made sure that he knew this was false.  I explained to him that some men do not know how to be fathers, and that is the truth.  And as harsh as it may seem, that feeling that my son had of not feeling like he was good enough to have a father; turned into him understanding that other people’s short comings had nothing to do with him.

My son and I have talked about his father going to prison for over 6 years and him being gone for all of his life.  And all of a sudden to him it made sense.  He understood that some people just have problems and their own demons to work out; and like with anyone other people problems or demons has nothing to do with us.  It is their problem.  I do not have to tell my son what I good mother I am.  Because he sees it everyday.  The only thing that I can do as a single mother and encourage others to do as a single mothers is that know that actions speak louder than words.  If you are a good mother your children will see it, and if they have a bad father the children will see it. There is no need to tell them how their dad sucks and isn’t about anything, as I am sure so many single mother are tempted to do. But still be honest.

I watched The Single Mom’s Club by Tyler Perry.  Nia Long’s character child’s father was a drug addict.  After much frustration and disappointment on the side of the child.  He finally found out about his father and the frustration turned to his mother.  Asking her, why did she not tell him the truth.  Although the truth may have hurt him.  It would have saved him from the waiting and wondering where his father was.  It may have saved him from going in a rough neighborhood looking for his father only to be taken advantage of by his father; had he just known his father was on drugs.

The point I am getting at is there is a fine line between letting your child know the truth and just bashing their father.  But please trust me that the truth is always better.  In a way that is age appropriate.  So in short, not being able to celebrate with a father on father’s day.  Is not the end of the world.  Nor is it your fault.  Sometimes father’s die, sometimes they leave, or sometimes they were never there.  Things happen, we as single mothers cannot allow this fact to diminish what we do as mothers.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Trusting God, When You Feel Lost.

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Image result for Trusting God, When You Feel Lost.Have you ever had those days in which you want to give up?  Give up on everything and not really sure where the direction of your life is going?  For myself, it is not secret that I have education, and I thought that life was leading one way only to find that God was taking me in another way all together.

This for me was both confusing and frustrating.  The question that always remains in my mind is how can I have plans for myself when God has other plans for me?  And His path seems way harder then I ever imagined.

Through this Bible verse we know

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” -Jeremiah 29:11


But so often times we look at the prosper part, not thinking about the amount of work and things in between that God requires of us to get there.  Often times leaving us feeling frustrated with ourselves and frustrated with God.

Frustrated with God’s promises of being successful at the path that He has given us, but not seeing the success yet.  Going through the motions of hard work but not being where we want to be at yet.

Image result for Trusting God, When You Feel Lost.The first thing to understand is the definition of God’s success, is not our same definition.  Being prosperous in God’s eyes may not look like being prosperous in our eyes.  I am sure in God’s eyes I am prosperous because I am doing the things that He wants me to do, but in my eyes I have a long way to go.

And really that is where the internal struggle begins.  That is not seeing things like God sees them and viewing our success of prosperity through the eyes of the world.  And this is really just another definition of faith.  Believing that God has the best for you and wants the best for you even though you do not see it yet, or even though you do not understand it.  And also staying on the path despite what you see, knowing that it is going to get you to be exactly where you need to be.

For those days where you see no end in sight and the days that you want to give up, you just keep going; trusting that God is leading you somewhere even if you do not know where.

The idea of Christianity it very simple.  Either you can chose to believe God and all those wonderful things in the Bible or you do not.  You can choose to believe that God is leading you in the right direction or not.  You can choose to believe that whatever rut you are in right now is going to last forever or not. And although it seems like such a basic understanding of God, choosing to believe what God has told you can be both the hardest and easiest things that you an go through depending on your situation.

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It can be hard to believe in prosperity when you are stuck struggling to pay your bills and always tittering on the edge of being broke.  It can be hard to believe that you are going to be a parent after you have be diagnosed with infertility.  It can be hard to see that God is going to bring something great from a difficult situation, when all you see is the difficult situation, and they keep coming back to back.  But if we do not believe that God can do these things, then why believe in God at all?  If anyone can turn things around and make things happen then surely, God can?  If not Him; then who?  And if not anyone, you would be stuck in the mind frame that your situation is permanent and will never change.  And this simple statement is not the work of God; but the work out doubt and being fearful.  And

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18