Sunday, July 20, 2014

Relationships Then Versus Now. What Happened?

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As a single Christian woman whenever you feel down about not being in a relationship, I like to look to the Bible.  Believe it or not the Bible has some of the most romantic stories on relationships.
The other day for some reason I was reminded of the story of Jacob and Rachel.  I find it amazing that men in this day and age do not even want to wait to have sex with you past three dates.  But Jacob waited for Rachel for 7 years. 

I think it is a real cultural change from the time of Rachel and Jacob.  Can you imagine, there was Jacob who like Rachel, he went to her father and offered to work for 7 years for free all to have his daughter’s hand in marriage. 

During the 7 years Jacob was just happy being in Rachel's’s presence.  He was happy at the fact that he was able to see her ever day.  He did not try to sneak her around back and sample the goods before the marriage.  He did not try to convince her to give it up because he was working for free.  He was just content in being in her presence.  Even more so, I think Jacob wanted to prove to Rachel’s father that he was a worthy man for his daughter. 

Let’s fast forward this story on how it may go day.  Jacob would see Rachel and ask her to come over his house.  When Rachel comes over he tries to have sex with her and when she refuses he tells her that he is going to marry her one day and he does not understand the big deal.  Jacob says to Rachel, that he is not willing to wait three months to have sex with her let along 7 years!

Rachel gives in has sex with Jacob, Jacob dates Rachel for a few years.  All the while still dating other women.  After year 5 he finally gives Rachel a ring to shut her up about getting married.  Jacob has no intention however in marrying Rachel, he just gave her a ring to pacify her.  And Rachel gladly accepted. 

By the time another 2 years has came around, Jacob has moved on to one of his other girlfriends and Rachel is devastated that she wasted so much of her life.  And Jacob repeats this pattern, with about two more the same time.

How many of you women have seen a friend go through this story?  How many women have went through this story yourselves?  

How many women are wondering why they cannot find someone that is willing to wait and work hard for them just like Jacob did for Rachel.  Well here is a news flash, you can!

When you look at the differences of the stories what did Rachel do different.  Rachel stayed true to herself and she refused to compromise on her beliefs.  Some of this meant no sex before marriage.  This was common during those time, but now when you tell men no sex before marriage you think you were telling them the world was coming to an end. 

If you allow a man to talk you out of your goods before you are ready to give it up, then this should be no man for you. 

I will use myself as an example (read my blog  here on why I became celibate).  I have a child, and I chose to follow what God was telling me to do not to have sex before marriage again.  If you have gone though some of the things I gone through in relationships you would understand my decisions (it is outlined in my book, which you can get here).  
I am not married yet and I often wonder what would men say about the whole celibacy thing since obviously I have a child.  I come to realize that I do not care about what they think.  I care about me.  I care about my values and what I want to do with my body. If the man can’t get with that, then they do not respect my relationship with God and they do not really love me.

You see this is the type of thinking that separates the first Biblical Jacob to the made up new Jacob.  Rachel was very pretty (as it states in the Bible).  I am sure she had her share of men wanting to marry her.  This does not mean that she was going around sleeping with every man that batted and eye at her. 

All the opposite, she maintained her integrity which I am sure made her more desirable to men even more.  

Don’t  you want a Jacob.  Someone who is willing to work for you to show you they are worthy of being your husband and are capable of being a provider.  Someone who is willing to get to know you and not just to get to know the inside of your pants. 

If you are a single Christian women, and you want to see true love stories one ordained by God.  Then read your Bible they have the best ones.  You always learn something from them and come away feeling better.  Also check out my blogs: