Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Why I Chose Celibacy.

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I just want to start out by saying that I am not perfect nor am a virgin.  This is obvious since I have a six year old son.  But, there did come a time in my life where I needed to get serious about my morale values.

The decision to become celibate had been weighing on my heart for years and years before I finally decided to follow through.  What it all came down to was growing in my walk with God.  I know this may sound cliche, but it’s true.

As a Christian I am not perfect nor am I ever going to be.  However, as I got to know God better, I knew I could not relay on the fact that I was never going to be perfect as a way to do things I knew I was not supposed to being doing.

Either I was a Christian and I was going to start following the word.  Or I was going to continue to do what I wanted to do and ignore what God was telling me.

I chose to follow God’s word.  I would love to lie to you and tell you it was an easy decision, but it was far from.  The moment I decided to be celibate was literally the last time I decided to have sex.

This is a situation in which I wrote about in my book, but I will give you a quick overview.  It was my birthday and I stopped by a man’s house that I had been seeing.  To make a long story short, we ended up having sex, and at about 3am, he told me to leave his home so that his girlfriend could come over.

I know, this is the point in which your mouth is touching the floor.  Yes he kicked me out!!!! I had been seeing this guy for over a year and this is how he treated me.  Not to mention, this was the first time I heard of a girlfriend.  Who knows if she was sleeping with anyone or who else he was sleeping with for that matter.

Instead of getting angry, I was at peace, because it was more of a wake up call than anything.  I decided to no longer put myself in these types of comprising positions.  I also decided that there were too many STD’s out there to continue to sleep with anyone outside of marriage.

Condoms do not matter.  Yes they protect against certain STD’s but not all. You can still get herpes or genital warts, just to name a few.  Nothing is 100% but not having sex, and this is what I chose.

Since I made that decision I have been going strong.  I do not feel like I am missing out on anything.  I learned the reason sex was created and it is in the context of marriage.  I am not married, so the people I had sex with in the past that I am no longer with.  When I think about it, what was it all for?

Perhaps instant gratification or a temporary way to satisfy the flesh? Even if these are the answers it does not really matter.  No one is worth catching an STD or me getting disrespected over (AGAIN).

The Bible teaches us:

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality" (1 Thessalonians 4:3)

There were times in which I had tried celibacy before, but I really did not have my mind set on it.  Because if I had, then I would not have failed at it.  In this day and age, sex has become too casual.  We have lost the meaning that it is supposed to be special.

 Woman and men were not meant for casual hookups.  There are hormones that are released during sex which cause us to attached to one another emotionally.

Therefore, if you are having sex with everybody, then I do believe it affects your ability to connect in a serious relationship in the long run.  This is because you have emotionally connected with so many people, you have become immune to a real connection when you see it.

This is why BOTH men and women can have sex with whoever and walk away like it is no big thing.  But it is a big thing.  We need to start seeing it as such.

I used to wonder what men would say about me being celibate until marriage since I have a child.  Now I do not care what they have to say.  My will to please God, is bigger than my will to please whatever man that comes along trying to get me to break my vow to God.

If a man is really of God anyway, then it should not be an issue. Right?

I know to some women, what I am saying is a foreign concept.  But that is the world talking.  There is nothing wrong with not wanting to pass yourself around.  Any man that cannot accept that, cannot accept you.  Get that into your head and stick with it.

If you want to hear more about the real life story and other stories as to why I decided on celibacy, then get my book.  Click here for more info.

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