Tuesday, July 29, 2014

He's Just Not That Into You, But If You Really Think, You Are Not Into Him Either

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He is just not that into you.  But I bet if you really reflect on all the relationships that did not work you would realize that you were just not that into him either.

I sat back one day and thought about all the relationships and dates that I had gone on.  I thought about the ones that “broke” my heart and realize that I did really like any of them.

When I really sat back and thought about pass relationships they cheated on me, asked me for money, talked down to me, ignored me, did not answer my calls, never called, never went on dates, or we simply were not compatible. Yes, this was every person, I can never look at any relationships and say that I missed it.  Then I think of how heart broken I was every time a relationships or situation ended.  Now that I have a clear head, I wondered why?  There was nothing to miss about a jacked up relationship.

Now I have gotten over all of that, and feel completely content in my singleness and sometimes I ever prefer it.  Often times when I go out, men think that I am already in a relationship because I am not tripping all up and down over myself to get their attention.    For me it is not that serious.  Do I want to get married of course, but I feel the man I am suppose to get married to I will not have to be this forced situation ( see my blog on if there is a one here).  I am confident that when there is a man for me and when it is time, then it will happen without me trying to move mountains to force the situation.

By trying to force relationships, I have come to learn that 10 times out of 10 it does not work out.  They really do not like me and deep down I really do not like them either.

Now, I do get offered for dates regularly but I do not engage, I do not feel like starting something that is just going to give me a head ache.  I have come to learn that real men will make themselves known (see my blog here on the real man versus the counterfeit) and the counterfeits are just into playing games.

If a man is really interested in you, you will not have to force them to approach you.

I am not with all this type of none sense with approaching a man first.  It may work, it may even lead to something, but how do you know if there are really interested in you if you come up to them.  I take pride in a man looking at me, knowing he wants to talk to me, and not being afraid to do so.

I have never actually came up to a man in person.  I once online dated and emailed a man first and the date turned out to be terrible ( see my blog here).  This is a prime reason why you  let men approach you, if you approach a man they will just say yes out of boredom or because they want sex.  These are the types of relationships you want to avoid.

There are always red flags.

Whenever you met or date a man, I cannot tell women enough to remain objective.  Get your head out of the clouds and stop picturing your wedding day and find out if you really like him.

Daydreaming about a man too much will allow you to miss the red flags that this man is a jerk (see my blog here on how to spot Mr. Wrong). And there are always red flags, sometimes even in the first hour of meeting him.

Just a few example of red flags I have seen are men not wanting to get married, only wanting sex, already being married, see women as little puppies that are supposed to cater to their every need, and not wanting to be in a committed relationship.

No they do not outwardly say these things, but there are always indications that this is what they were thinking.  Hence, I met someone at happy hour and he said something like

“ When I am in a relationship, I do not like my women to spend the night.  After about 12 midnight, I let her know I need my space and she can go home. Also, I do not feel the need to call may women everyday, I just send a text.”

This translates to

“ I want my girl to come over and have sex with me. But when we are done I do not want her to spend the night so I am going to tell her to go home.  And the reason why I prefer a text over a call is because I am doing something I have no business doing, probably another girl.  If I call you may hear her in the background so texting is best.”


This is a big thing that men do.  They are always going to try to convince a women that she is insecure when in fact he is just looking to get away with crap (TWEET THIS).  Taking the above example, I told the man that this would not be acceptable in my relationships. I would need for a man to call not text and not kick me out of his house.

He then tried to convince me I was being too needy.  Ladies this is a manipulation technique.  This is what men try to throw on you to get you to bend your standards.  He is just trying to get you to bend because if you date him, he is still trying to get away with nonsense.

Do not fall for it.

All of these above things not only signify that he is not into you, but when you really analyze the man you will see that you are not into them either.  It is best to understand and realize this now, before getting involved with a man that you really do not like in the first place. Make sense?

Recommended Reading:  He's Just Not That Into You. See Below