Monday, July 28, 2014

The Danger Of An Unequally Yoked Partner

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If you are like how I used to be, you are the type of women that gives every man a chance whenever he asks you out on a date.  As a single woman, we hear not to be too picky (see my blog here) and give everyone a chance.  After all, you do not want to turn away a potential man that could be the one right (read my blog here)? 

You may say to yourself:

So what he does not like children (and you have children)?
So what he is an atheist (and you believe in God)?
So what he does not have a job, car, and no motivation to do anything whatsoever?  It can still work right?  


The key to finding the relationships you want is not to spend time on relationships that are not going to go any where.  Before you engage with someone, there is always signs that this person is crazy, a stalker, controlling, abusive, or is simply not for you.  

The key is to weed out these men before you spent the next 2 years in a relationship that is going to end in a break up.  

Never get with someone that is unequally yoked with you.  The Bible always has great advice on relationships that can still be applied today.  

”Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”  2 Corinthians 6:14

1. If a man does not believe in God, then he has nothing to fear.

I know this may sound harsh, but I am going to completely agree with this statement.  For myself I think of it like this. The reason why I stay in line with what I am supposed to be doing is because God tells me to and I have reverence for the Lord. 

Meaning if a man does not know God,  I feel he will have no problem cheating on you, abusing you, hurting you, or lying to you.  Do not get me wrong, I have meant Christian men who are anything but Christians, but these are what I call surface Christians.  They are Christians when it is convenient for them, but when they want to have a one night stand, then the whole idea of God goes out the window (see my blog/ horror story here). 

I can recall when I dated someone who was Muslim.  I knew it would not work because his expectation out of a women was for his wife to be in full Muslim dress, and I knew this was something I was not willing to do.  Nor was I willing to go to the Mosque, give up Christmas, celebrate Ramadan, or give up pork.  To get with him would be to change my whole lifestyle. 
Being equally yoked with someone can go beyond just being a Christians.  

You have to think do you have the same morals, values, and do you want the same things? 

I knew a woman who married a man and he wanted her to go out and sleep with other men, while he watched.  That may be for some people.  But you have to think is this for you.   This is why it is so important to know what a person morals and values are before you get together. 

The last thing you want to be is a wife that is getting passed around. These are things that are going to cause friction in a relationship when there is not need for it.  Because you should find out about how a man is before hand.  

3. The last area in which couples can be unequally yoked is family. 

It amazes me, how many people get married and then want to talk about if they want children or not.  This is something that should have been discussed before hand, don’t you think.  Some other examples include a man not wanting his women to work, homeschooling children, or expecting a hot meal at dinner every night when he gets home. 

If you are a women who is and wants all of these things, then I commend you.  If you are like me and you know being a domestic goddess is not your cup of tea, then it is important to know these things about a man before getting serious.  He is not going to change his mind and I am sure you are not going to change your personality.   

Being unequally yoked is NOT:

-He must have less than 1% of body fat on his body because you have less than 1% on your body. 
- He must talk to his mother everyday because you do.
- He must agree with you on every little thing that you say. 

Let’s  not get crazy.  You are still two different people and you are going to be different.  You need to realize that everyone have imperfections and they are not going to be your clone.  Focus on the things that matter. 

In closing, I cannot tell you how essential being unequally yoked its.  It will help you weed out the men that are not for you and spend more time in relationships that will more than likely end in something more serious.  Always maintain a level head when dating and never get so head over heels that you overlook important things about his personality that does not go with yours.