The past is something that you need to both learn and move on from. No one is perfect. We all have done things in our past that we would not have done if we were the person that we are today. The key is to learn from the past, not to repeat past mistakes, and to use them to help others.
Often times I find myself being a victim of the past. Every time you try to move on from something, the past is in your head haunting you telling you that you are not good enough, telling you that you have not changed, or telling you that you are still that person in your past and you are never going to be different.
I have come to find life is kind of like those cartoons. You know where an angel is on one shoulder and the devil is on he other. The angel represents God. He is always guiding to do and to be better. Telling you to move on and to always make the right decisions.
On the other side is the devil. The devil is always trying to bring up your faults. The devil is always trying to bring up the things in your past trying to tell you how unworthy you are for the future that you want. Can anyone relate to what I am saying?
I will level with you for a second here. Believe it or not, I have more than a few recklessness in my past. Some people who see me today, who knew me in my past, are wondering who I am and where did I come from.
It is amazing that when you decide to set your life straight and set your course on God, how He can change you from the inside out. But that devil sitting on your shoulder is not going to want that.
During the time of my transformation, there were many time that I stumbled. I wanted to be what God wanted me to be, but I wanted to stay where the devil wanted me to stay too. I didn’t want to stop drinking, partying all night, or hanging out with people I had no business hanging out with. There were times where I wanted to stay in my mess.
There were days when I would believe it and would just give up, there were days where I kept trying. It was also like the devil and God were in my head going back and forth telling me about myself and it was up to me to choose who I believed.
One Bible verse that kept ringing in my head, was that “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” 1 Corinthians1:27
For the longest time, I would wonder why God was putting this verse in my head and what it meant from me. Then I came to this conclusion. I am merely one of those foolish things. I am a minority, single mother, and I have a reckless past. For some reason in God’s mercy and grace He wants to use this to prove to other people that those who are first shall be last and those who are last shall be first. (Matthewv19:20).
I think God wants to use people with shaky past to show others that HE cares for everyone. That in God’s eyes not one is truly last, and if someone like me can find God and change, then someone like you can change too.
When it comes to the past, we can allow it to constantly haunt us and tell us that we will never get over it. Or you can believe what God says about you and allow Him to use your past not only to glorify Him but to also encourage others.
Just like i have a past, I am sure there are other women with the same past thinking they will never amount to anything and God has no use for them. Just like I am sure that there are high and mighty “Christians” that would look at my past and think that God would not use someone like me to bring glory to His kingdom.
Well this is simply not true. Think of this way, Noah drank, Moses was murderer, David was a murderer and an adulterer, and Paul persecuted Christians. God still chose to use them all in a great way despite their past. So why can’t He use you, despite yours?