Throughout my dating life, I have been attracted to a certain type of man. There was a list in my head that I wanted a man to meet before I became serious about him. Most of them were about the man’s appearance. I was, and to an extent, still am a very “visual” person when it comes to the men that I date.
Some of my must have included the man being tall preferably over 6 feet and athletic, preferably a 6 pack. These were my standards, very shallow, and pointless. It took God giving me what I thought I wanted a few times before I figured out that these types of men were not what I wanted
I soon discovered that relationships take more than just having a good physical appearance. I had to find out the hard way through a string of bad dates and relationships., but eventually I gave in. I gave in to what I thought I wanted in a man, and let all of my ideals go.
Sometimes what you think you want, or when you have a list in you head about your perfect mate, you are more than likely selling yourself short.
If you are single and you keep going after the same type of man again and again and getting the same type of results, it is time you start trying do something different.y.
You do not have to drop your standards all together and just go with anyone. I am sorry to report that I am still a very visual person, I simply cannot under any circumstances see myself with someone I am not physically attracted to.
However, I have opted to look deeper than what I had been looking before. Although I still have a list of the type of man I want, it is a more realistic list, such as him being a Christian, his having morales, being good with children, where as before I just rested on looks.
Sometimes the key to finding your ideal partner is letting what you thought you wanted go. The man I end up with, it is no longer necessary for them to have a 6 pack and if they stand a little under 6 feet, then I am not going to have fit.
I have decided to look past looks and actually look at the heart. I decided to determine if the person I want to date will actually add to my life and not take away. And even bigger, the man that I am looking for will add to my purpose in life so that we will be able to complete our life mission together.
This may sound confusing, but I feel like everyone was put on this Earth for a reason (see my blog here). The person that you ultimately the person you find should add to your value of life purpose in some way. This does not mean, you have to d the same thing, or have the same job.
It means they should be able to be an encourager when you do not feel you can go on, it means they should offer a world of clarity when your mind is cluttered, and it means they should be so “right” for you that you are able to give up the reigns and trust their opinion and what they have to say.
My biggest problem is I never feel like I can give up the reign to someone else in relationships, this among other things, ( see my blog on relationships demons). But what I do know is the right one for you will add and not take away.
In closing I say to you, throw away that material and superficial list you have written down or that is in the back of your mind. No one is ever going to meet that imaginary partner in your head. You have to let go and let God.
He knows you better then you know yourself, He knows who would be a better partner than what you know. So just release the reigns and let God do it.
You want to read more about how the men I thought I wanted went terribly wrong, check out my book. Click on the “my book” tab for more information about the book.