Monday, July 28, 2014

What About Your Friends? Signs You Need To Let A Friend Go.

I am not ashamed to admit that I do not really have a lot of close friends.  Unlike people who are bothered by it I completely do not care.  I have learned that having detrimental friends who share your space can be just as bad as have enemies.  I am not saying I disliked anyone, I am just saying that sometimes you need to love people from a distance.

Here are a few tips to let you know it is time to remove someone from your life.

 1. They are negative.

Who wants to be around Debbie downer all the time.  I cannot tell you how many friends I have had to say goodbye to because they were too criticizing, they complained too much, or were not on the same page as me.

Let me give you some examples of friends I had to give the ax.  I had a girlfriend who said I would not be able to finish my Master’s degree because I was a single mom.


There is no point of having people in your life that are going to speak down to your destiny (TWEET THIS).  If you believe you can, then your friends should be there to promote you.

I had a male friend whom I dated, and the only thing he talked about was why things were not working out for him and how he felt like other people owed him stuff and blah blah blah.  I mean I would sit on the phone for 30 minutes and hear him complain about God knows what.


Why go back and forth with negative people, just move on.  Know that negative friends have no place in your life (TWEET THIS).

2. Too needy

I have had maybe one or two friends that simply wanted too much.  I do not mind giving to my friends, but when you think I should be taking the place of your boyfriend, it is time for you to go.

An ex friend of mine wanted me to help pay her rent, phone, money for her boyfriend, lend her my laptop, do her work for her, always be ready for her every beckoned call.

I am sure if I could use the bathroom for her she would have wanted that too.

Friends that are too needy signify a problem (TWEET THIS).  You cannot even worry about your own needs because you have to worry about theirs so much.  This is a quick way to get a de-friend in my book.

3. Never There When You Need Them

Out of all the reasons why I cut friends out of my life this is number 1.  I have had friends in which I always went to their event, but wherever I invited them to mine they were too busy.

This is something I hate.  Friendship can never be one sided, if you feel like you are always the one giving out of a friendships then stop giving (TWEET THIS).

I can recall when I had my son’s first birthday, most of my friends stated they would come but when the day came they never showed up.  This was hard to accept considering I had been to their weddings, Mary Kay Parties, Birthday Parties, and bridal showers.

This is not the same as holding a grudge but friendships can never be one sided.  It is about give and take.  If you are always giving to them and they are always taking never giving anything back in return, then that is not a mutually beneficial relationships.

4. Refusing to Grow Up.

With me being a mother and a Christian, having friends that get joy from going out getting passed out drunk and getting into bar fights are just no longer my thing.

I like to have fun, but this is not the college days.  The sloppy angry drunk party person is simply not cute.  For me it shows a sign of immaturity, and I would not want any of your bad habits to rub of on me.

Friends who want to stay in their childhood, let them, but that does not mean that I need to be out there embarrassing myself with you.

5. Not supportive or Jealous of You

I always feel that you have the ability to speak life or death into your situation.  The mouth is a very powerful weapon (TWEET THIS).  So who wants to hear a friend tell you, you are not going to succeed, calling you or your ideas stupid, telling you that you are fat and ugly.

If you do not feel encouraged when you are around a friend then get rid of them.  Out of all the friends that I get rid of, I can say this is the number 2 reason why.

Friends that have told me “I can’t” or try to impose their life on me, when they are not doing anything significant, can also get the AX!

Trying to do what you feel you are supposed to be doing is hard enough, who wants to hear things from your friends telling you, you are never going to make it.

I know this may sound harsh, but not everyone deserves to share your space (TWEET THIS).  This is not because you hate them, I do not think you should hate anyone.  But liking everyone does not mean you need to invite them into your world and allow them to wreak havoc in it.  You have to know when to let go.  Always surround yourself with positive people.  Those who are for you and not against you.