Sunday, July 6, 2014

The Single Woman versus The Christian Single Woman

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I have been a single woman and I am now a Christian single woman.  I can tell you that my walk as a single Christian woman has been more peaceful than my walk was a normal single woman.  I have spoken to many women about being a single Christian woman and how it is different from being a regular Christian woman, and I have received much backlash.

This is because it encourages women to step from their normal ways and it presses them to change. The crazy thing about what I am about to say, is at one point I believed that going with the ways of the world was the right way to go about getting into relationships.  Through the ways of the world I found myself frustrated, angry, and depressed.  

So here are some things I decided to change when transforming myself from a single woman, to a single Christian woman.

 No sex. I am a single mother so at one point and time I had to have sex outside of wedlock.  But as a Christian God began to convict me of having sex outside of marriage.  It took me a few years to listen and eventually I did.  And I am now happy I did.  It made me look at sex in a new light.  Before sex was something that was incorporated into a relationship. I have come to learn, that when I do not have sex in relationships I quickly learn who was right for me and who was not. This is because I got to know the person on all levels before making them my man.

single ladies, girls, women, quotes, sayings, longGrowing with God.  As a single, with God you are never lonely (read my blog here).  So while you are single choose to talk to God.  There are many reason for this. Once you know God, you know what to look for in a man. The ideal man that you want is a man that both knows God and can mimic the behaviors of God.  I am a firm believer that a man who does not know God, will not be a good husband.  I know this may sound harsh, but who will they look to, to not cheat on your, or to love you.  I feel through a Godly man, can a man learn how to love you like God loves you because he is learning from the best.

Knowing yourself.  I can say I am not the same person I was 7 years ago.  It was because I was so busy going out doing things I had no business doing. As a single mother I found myself being alone a lot with my son.  I can say this was not a bad thing.  It was through being alone that I learned a lot about myself.  And I learned I was not half bad.  I learn to be happy with myself and I learned the type of things I would need going forward in a partner.  As first I had minimal standards such as the man needing to look good and have a six pack.

Having a child gave me a new take on relationships.  I had to learn that whoever I brought into my life they need to be a good example for my son. Not only as a man, but as a Godly man.

As a single woman, I know the advice you want me to give you are 1, 2, 3 steps that you need to find a man.  I have learned that on any given day I can walk out of the house and get any man’s attention.  As I am sure you can too.  But it is not about having any man’s attention, it is having the right man’s attention.  So do you want any man, or do you want the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with.  A man that loves you like God does.  Think about it.

For my journey from a single woman to a Christian single women check out my book here.