Monday, December 16, 2013

Children Do What You Do. Not What You Say

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This article is going to address a topic that is near and dear to me, and that is parenting.  As I watch some of these reality shows or parents out in world, is amazes me on how bad some of these parents are.  I do not mean to come across as being harsh, but it would probably be best if some people just did not have children.  I myself am a single mother and cannot say that I have done everything 100% right.  But what I can say is that I do try, and with trying come improvement.  

A specific topic that I would like to focus on in regards to parenting is the image that you send out to your children.  Children are like blank canvases, they learn from their parents and the world around them.  That’ts why it is important to always portray your best possible self in front of your child, because they are watching.  

I will turn this idea on myself.  My son is 5 years old and I have noticed that when he looks at television, commercial, or see women in person and he is starting to notice that they are pretty.  For those of you saying that 5 years old is too young, I will disagree and say it is not.  I am not allowing my son to have sex, but to have a attraction or to start to view the opposite sex as pretty is normal at this age.  In any case, I have noticed in particular the type of women that my son thinks is “pretty” those are his words.  And they are women that sort of imitate me.  Let me explain what I mean by this.  When my son saw Kerri Washington in Scandal, he was so infatuated with her.  However, I notice that when he sees her outside of that character it is not the same affect.  Let me explain why I think this is.  In that role she dresses very professional.  When I stepped out of the home I tend to dress very professions.  In that role, she speaks very articulately, my sons know when mommy speaks she articulates herself well.  The list can go on and on, but essentially what my son is attracted to are the things that he sees that his mom his. 

He is attracted to women who are well groomed, well dressed, and are beautiful.  This is because this is how my son sees me.  I will take this a step further and even say that when my son sees a women that he feels is attractive, he even goes so far as to say that he s going to marry her.  And even though he is 5 I am proud of that.  At my son’s Christian school, they have already talked about the idea of marriage and how it is seen in the Bible.  I am glad that he did not say “ I want kiss her” or “I want to touch her boobies.”  This may seem a bit overkill for you, but you will be surprised at how many children his age will say that.  I know this because i have observed children his age talking about boobies and squeezing boobies.  Once again, this is something that I am sure that they have picked up from some where.  

My points is simple.  You are the best role model to your child.  A child is going to do what they see you do.  If you tell your child not to do something and they see you do it, they are going to gravitate to what they observed not what you say.  You then have not leg to stand on, when you catch them doing it.  The first thing they are going to do, is throw it right back in your face.  Parents, (both fathers and mothers) be the type of person that you want your child to be.  Be the type of person that you want your child to grow up and marry.  And do not wait until their a teen, start from the very beginning.  As soon as a child is born, the absorb everything around them.  Each behavior that you do, leaves in imprint on their little brain. So leave positive impressions over negatives ones.  It will help your child grow into a healthy adult.