Wednesday, June 25, 2014

My Online Date From Hell!

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At one point in my life, like so many other women, I thought if I was not married yet, there were things I needed to do to make it happen.  One of the things I fell prey to is online dating.  I am sure that online dating works for some people, but unfortunately it did not work for me.  This is a tale of my online date from HELL.

When online dating you feel it is easy because you can pick a man based of off what you “think” you want.  For myself, I wanted a Christian, someone who was attractive, and someone who had a good job.

I quickly learned that all that glittered was not gold.  Through the few phone conversations we had, he focused heavily on his ex girlfriend.  He told me how he felt like she was the perfect women for him, but he could never go back because she cheated.  This should have been red flag number one, but I insisted.

When we Skyped my impression was that we would talk but he was in the bed, in his pajamas, with his little “solider” standing straight up.  I got the impression that he thought some type of Skype sex session was about to go down, of course it didn’t, but this was red flag number two, but still I insisted.

When we finally decided to meet, he tried to convince me first to meet as his house, BUT I talked him into meeting at the mall.  And this was the beginning from the DATE FROM HELL.  The first activity we did at the mall was go into a store that he wanted to go into, so that HE could go shopping. 

If this was not weird enough, he began picking out clothing, specifically a hat for me that he wanted me to buy; even after I insisted I didn’t want it.  The fact that I did not want the hat really put him into a bad mood.  I remember thinking that this date was going so bad, but I was going to stick it out, because it was rude not to.

I suggested we get something eat, after all this was supposed to be a date, right?  He suggested coffee which I did not want, because I was not a fan of the coffee shop in that mall.  He then began to yell and me for not liking the coffee shop because I didn’t like the way they made coffee, and some other non-sense that he was upset about and I could not understand why.  What I did understand is that he was just mad, for no reason. Then he followed my advice and we headed to the food court.

Since he was a Christian, went to church, played the piano at church, I expected I guess him to at least have some Christian behaviors.  As we walked to the food court, he bumped into people without saying excuse me and walked several steps in front of me which I felt was rude.  I of course made this known to my date. 

Perhaps it is just me, but I feel if you are on a date, or with anyone in a public for that matter, you should walk with them.  Maybe I’m old fashion, but I assumed this is normal behavior for all people.  Apparently, me asking him to walk with me was an unreasonable expectation and he became agitated even more. 

When getting food, he said that he was not going to pay for my meal.  He insisted that some women go online and date men because they wanted to get a free meal.  I had a job, and pretty good one, so I did not need for him to pay for anything. 

I agreed to get food at two separate places and as I sat down, I noticed I was alone.  He had left! Yes he left me at the mall! Never in my life!

It is not in my nature to let things go so I called, he didn’t answer.  So I commenced to texting him my reaction bit by bit. I must have sent him five or six text, because as women we just need to get it out. And once I did, I felt a whole lot better.

Needless to say I never saw him again.  At first, I think I was hurt by the situation.  Then I realized I really did not want him anyway, I was more hurt by his actions, then by him not liking me. 

This was a turning point for me, and to other single women I want it to be a turning point for you too.  You look for someone to meet your qualification.  On paper, I would not have thought this guy was the way he was.  After all he was a Christian, someone who was active in the church, I guess I expected him….to be respectful at least.

Situations like these are what encouraged me to write my book.  You can try to find a man and pick him out of a catalog, but if the man is not the man for you, then it is not going to work out no matter how hard you try.  This is why my book is titled “Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart,” not chasing a man after God’s own heart.  Because even if he is a godly man, this does not mean that he is your man. 

In closing, single women, don’t chase.  If you are single, it really is not the end of the world.  God is with you, check out my blog on single and being lonely (God I’m Lonely). No person is going to fill your loneliness void like God will.

Have you ever had a date from hell, I would love to hear it leave it in the comment section.

To purchase my book (e-book and paperback) , click on the book tab on my site.  Read the first two chapters free on Amazon.