Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Unhealthy Single Behaviors to Purge Yourself From

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Unhealthy Single Behaviors to Purge Yourself From

Sophia Reed MSHS

As far as relationships are concerned we all hear about people who want to be in relationships, but we never really think of the work that it takes in order for someone to have a successful relationship.  So here are some common behaviors that I myself had to purge myself of as a single woman and behaviors that I see in other women single women have that needs to be purged.

1.       Be a Giver- In case you did not know this.  Relationships are about giving.  If everyone in the relationships was always giving then the relationships would have a lot less problems.  So a single person, practice being a giver!  This does not always mean money.  It could be kind words, emotional support, a hug! Anything.  Many people come into relationships thinking “what can I get get” or “what can this person do for me.”  But get yourself out of that mind frame, do not think “what can I get” but rather “what can I give” in this relationship.

2.       Let Go.  Many times the reason why people remain single is because they do not want to let go of the past.  And by the past I mean the ex that you keep going back to even though to know that person is not for you, even though you know they told you that they do not want to be with you, or they have other women, or they don’t want to settle down…or a million or’s as for the reason that you are still hanging on to someone that does not want you.  Any person who wants to be with you, will!  Point, blank, period!!!  If for some reason they are not with you, then they are not your man, then MOVE ON!!!!

3.       Get some confidence.  There are so many people that believe that once they are in a relationship then they are complete.  A relationship does complete you, a relationship does give you confidence, it cannot do anything for you that you cannot do for yourself.  So if you are expecting a relationship to be the Savior to all of your problems, then you need to look for Jesus for that.  Be confident on your own.  When you are confident, you demand the type POSITIVE attention.  When you have low self-esteem, people can tell.  So if you are attracting a certain type of partner then you may need to have a self-reflective moment at what you are putting out.  Confidence will attract confidence person, and the opposite will have the adverse affect.  So if you are not right yourself, then get right, before bringing someone else in your circle.  
4.       Being Argumentative.  People confuse being argumentative with being confident.  When in fact that is NOT the case.  The Bible says

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.   Proverbs 21:9
A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike Proverbs 27:15

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24

A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.  Proverbs 19:13

So if all these verses want to speak about an argumentative women, then I think that says something.  Ladies sometimes you just have to SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!!  There is time and a way to say everything, you do not need to scream your point of view from the top of your lungs all the time.  Pick and choose your battles, and you do not always have to be right!!!!  Learn when to talk, and when to let things walk. Stating your opinion does not always mean, being argumentative.

5.       Let Go and Let God.  I think that being bitter can be one of the number one reasons why future relationships fail.  Do not let the past fails of relationships be the reason why your future relationships fail.  So what such and such did you wrong in the past?  Build a bridge and get over it. There is no reason why the man that you broke up with 10 years ago is still affecting your future relationships.  People have a hard time trusting, being committed, telling the truth and whole slew of other things because they claim that they have been damaged in past relationship.  There is no reason for that.  We have all had bad relationships, break up, friendship, you name it.  But that does not prevent us from moving on.  So if you have an excess of baggage from past relationships.  Get rid of it, because with it you will never be able to move on to successful relationship.