I don’t know what it is, but it seems as though us women have moved from a being pursued role to a chasing, a man role. We want a man to see how good we are, how great we do this, how nice our heart is, how understanding we are…….not thinking that a lot of the time it is the man’s job to prove this to us.
As I was sitting at a male friend’s home this past weekend, someone that I have known for quite a while now. I sat there thinking to myself, I really do not know this person. Or worse, I really do not even like this person. He wined, he complained, and made everything humanly possible about him. Not once did he even ask how I was doing. Had he asked, he would have known that I had just gotten over a stomach virus the week before and missed four days from work. Instead, he wanted me to massage his back, get this, do that blah blah blah. Not once did he offer me anything, not even water. I sat and thought to myself, how I have missed this. How have I missed that this person is completely self-centered and only cares about what is going on around them in their own mind and bodies.
In my case, like I think is the case for many women, is that women feel that because we see a good shell on a man….. By shell I mean a job, looks, their own place, sex, car, or whatever….we are willing to overlook aspects of their personality that does not necessarily go with our own personality or purpose in life. It really took time for me to say I am beautiful, I am smart, I am a home owner, I am pursuing a Ph.D, I am generally a kind hearted person, and the caring and love that comes out of me is not fake but 100% real…. it has always been this way. I am a true kind of women…through my heart, mind, and spirit. I used to think everyone was this way, but through the ways I have been treated and through observation of those around me, I can now say I see how hard those attributes are hard to find.
I am uniquely and wonderfully made by the One and only true living God, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that not only do I deserve better, but God will give me better. Women out there you deserve better too. . This is because as it stands I am His, and the only way God will relinquish control is if it is to a worthy person. I do think that there is a huge generation of men out there that do not know what it is like to be men, head of household, or to be in their role BUT there are men that do, they are out there. I have learned that until you find the man that you feel is given to you by God, then why even settle for anything less. Marriage is permanent and it is meant to explain the way Christ loves the church, so settling for anything less because you do not want to be alone, is really short changing yourself and what God wants for you. He wants you to have the best, and the only way that you can get it, is by being the best. The only way that you can be the best is by learning from the best, and the best is Him….God. So when we are closer to God and we know God, when we know what mate God wants for us, and we do not waste time on those who mean us no good.
Society have taught men to have as many women as possible, and to use and abuse women, and that this is something to be valued. But guess what….it is not. When you think about it, what is so great with sharing your body with person after person, not knowing or having a true understanding of what love can be if they were to actually just try. Women you are never going to find the man of your dreams, by using what you have between your legs to trap them, and men you are never going to find that dream woman if you keep trying to get into the thing between her legs, and not knowing or understanding that there is a bigger art to love and making love than just the physical.
Relationships can be so much more, if we allow them to be. Love can be more if we allow it to be. Why can't people turn against what is the popular culture of being loose, and get back to the basics. The basics in which men open doors for women, take them on dates, practice monogamy.
Like it or not men and women are not alike. We are equal in the roles that we have been given. But make no mistake about it, we each have our distinct roles. I myself am a single mother, and although I do a lot for my son I can never be a father to him. Not ever, no matter how smart or cool I want to be. I think because of the breakdown of the traditional family unit over time, we have forgotten to treat our daughters like queens, and we have forgotten to raise our sons to be kings. So they do not act like kings and queens because they have not been taught. Instead men find it funny to hurt and degrade women, not thinking themselves that they once came from one. And women find it perfectly acceptable to be girlfriend number 2,3,4,5,6 all for the sake of believing that we have find a diamond in the rough, and feels that if he gets rid of this person or does that…. then he would be the perfect man for you. I have been there.
But at the end of the day, none of it matters. There is a purpose to your life and whoever it is that you are meant to be with will add to your purpose, they will add to your character. They will not want to hurt you, abuse you, lie to you, cheat on you, and they will want to have a promising future that is suited for the both of you. So I ask you today, what are you doing as a man or as a women? Are you being disrespectful or are you allowing yourself to be disrespected. Are you adding to the value of this world by being an example to others or are you just blending in with the example of others. Be your own person, find your own purpose, and the person that is meant for you truly meant for you will see you as a gem that is one of a kind to be value and adorned. Let go of the nasty and negative energy of the ones that hurt you and make your cry. Instead use this negative energy learn from it, and be better. The best revenge for someone who has hurt you, disrespected you, and treated you bad, is to prove them wrong and to be the best you, you can be. God will love you for it, you will love yourself for it, and God will send someone that loves you like HE loves you as a reward. Stay blessed and true to yourself always.