God made You Unique

Here is a truth I have come to learn about myself.  I am weird.  This may sound crazy to you, but there was a time when I use to resent my weirdness.  I just could not understand why I was not like everyone else or better yet why I did not want to be like everyone else.   I could not understand why people could not be more like me and why people did not see things the way I saw things.

As I got older, my weirdness is something I learn to embrace.  I have a big sense of humor and I love sarcasm.  I love going around my home and dancing around for no apparent reason what so ever.  I love thinking and pondering about the random aspects of life, taking to God, and have my alone time.

 

I have never been the type that has gotten very attached to friends, because they had drama, too emotional, didn’t understand me, or I didn’t understand them and for me, this was okay.  But for others that wanted to be my friend they did not understand this aspect of my personality. 

I think I have some “boy” tendencies; I love playing video games and have a very non emotional response in relationships.  Now that I am 30, I can honestly say that I do not resent those things about myself, even though I may have to work on some of them in the future.

My new motto is “God made me unique, so why would I want to fit in with anyone else.” And it is true.  If God intended for every man or women to be the same then what would be the point.  The things that we see as faults, God does not see as faults.  He sees them as potential strengths.  It is up to us, to learn how to use what we perceive as our weakness as our strengths, does that make sense?

When I was younger, I was in the “in” crowd I guess you could say.  But I was never fully in the “in” crowd because of my perceived weirdness.  Since embracing my weirdness, I have gain more confidence.  I know what I want to do in life, I know where I want to go; and the other people that I knew from my past who just blended into the crowd.  Well it is sad to say, they still blend into the crowd.

This may sound mean, but the truth is that they were so busy fitting in and going along with the what others said to do, that they never had the chance to find out what made them unique and what they were meant to do.  God wants to use our uniqueness to use us for what we were called to do. 

 

Whatever our mission is in life is, God gave it to us and us only.  The reason why that is, is because He knows something that many people on this Earth miss. And this is, it takes someone with our unique gifts and abilities to complete the task God has given is, and no one else can do it.

There are so many great things that will never be accomplished because people are too afraid to explore what they are good at.  So instead, they stay in their little bubbles and watch life pass them by.

Do you know why the idea of a mid-life crisis is so significant in some people? It is because when some adults reach mid-life they realize their life is no where near where they want it to be, and they feel they have not achieved anything significant in their lives at their age.

They then go into this frenzy, in attempts to be young, to salvage the young life they have already lost. In this process they realize it is too late, which leads to more despair.

Isn’t that sad?  Not only is this sad, but do not let it be you.  Stop being afraid to be yourself or to be different.  Those are the things that are going to make you stand out, and standing out for being you is a good thing! It’s the standing out for trying to be someone else that is bad.  And this is what leads to people being depressed.  This is because they are always keeping up a façade, never have a chance to be themselves, causing them to lose a sense of themselves completely.  Make sense?

 

In closing dare to be different, dare to stand out, dare to be yourself, and do not be scared of that.  God made you the way you are, and as long as you are being the person God intended you to be, then your successful.

Believe it or not, I used to be a sheep in the field following the flock.  But through my life experiences I woke up and decided to be myself and live for myself and for God.  Read my book “Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart.” To find out how I came to be comfortable with myself through the life experiences that I went through.  Click on the book tab for more information including the book trailer.  Read the first two chapters free through Amazon.

Read More

My Online Date From Hell!

At one point in my life, like so many other women, I thought if I was not married yet, there were things I needed to do to make it happen.  One of the things I fell prey to is online dating.  I am sure that online dating works for some people, but unfortunately it did not work for me.  This is a tale of my online date from HELL.

When online dating you feel it is easy because you can pick a man based of off what you “think” you want.  For myself, I wanted a Christian, someone who was attractive, and someone who had a good job.

I quickly learned that all that glittered was not gold.  Through the few phone conversations we had, he focused heavily on his ex girlfriend.  He told me how he felt like she was the perfect women for him, but he could never go back because she cheated.  This should have been red flag number one, but I insisted.

When we Skyped my impression was that we would talk but he was in the bed, in his pajamas, with his little “solider” standing straight up.  I got the impression that he thought some type of Skype sex session was about to go down, of course it didn’t, but this was red flag number two, but still I insisted.

When we finally decided to meet, he tried to convince me first to meet as his house, BUT I talked him into meeting at the mall.  And this was the beginning from the DATE FROM HELL.  The first activity we did at the mall was go into a store that he wanted to go into, so that HE could go shopping. 

If this was not weird enough, he began picking out clothing, specifically a hat for me that he wanted me to buy; even after I insisted I didn’t want it.  The fact that I did not want the hat really put him into a bad mood.  I remember thinking that this date was going so bad, but I was going to stick it out, because it was rude not to.

I suggested we get something eat, after all this was supposed to be a date, right?  He suggested coffee which I did not want, because I was not a fan of the coffee shop in that mall.  He then began to yell and me for not liking the coffee shop because I didn’t like the way they made coffee, and some other non-sense that he was upset about and I could not understand why.  What I did understand is that he was just mad, for no reason. Then he followed my advice and we headed to the food court.

Since he was a Christian, went to church, played the piano at church, I expected I guess him to at least have some Christian behaviors.  As we walked to the food court, he bumped into people without saying excuse me and walked several steps in front of me which I felt was rude.  I of course made this known to my date. 

Perhaps it is just me, but I feel if you are on a date, or with anyone in a public for that matter, you should walk with them.  Maybe I’m old fashion, but I assumed this is normal behavior for all people.  Apparently, me asking him to walk with me was an unreasonable expectation and he became agitated even more. 

When getting food, he said that he was not going to pay for my meal.  He insisted that some women go online and date men because they wanted to get a free meal.  I had a job, and pretty good one, so I did not need for him to pay for anything. 

I agreed to get food at two separate places and as I sat down, I noticed I was alone.  He had left! Yes he left me at the mall! Never in my life!

It is not in my nature to let things go so I called, he didn’t answer.  So I commenced to texting him my reaction bit by bit. I must have sent him five or six text, because as women we just need to get it out. And once I did, I felt a whole lot better.

Needless to say I never saw him again.  At first, I think I was hurt by the situation.  Then I realized I really did not want him anyway, I was more hurt by his actions, then by him not liking me. 

This was a turning point for me, and to other single women I want it to be a turning point for you too.  You look for someone to meet your qualification.  On paper, I would not have thought this guy was the way he was.  After all he was a Christian, someone who was active in the church, I guess I expected him….to be respectful at least.

Situations like these are what encouraged me to write my book.  You can try to find a man and pick him out of a catalog, but if the man is not the man for you, then it is not going to work out no matter how hard you try.  This is why my book is titled “Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart,” not chasing a man after God’s own heart.  Because even if he is a godly man, this does not mean that he is your man. 

In closing, single women, don’t chase.  If you are single, it really is not the end of the world.  God is with you, check out my blog on single and being lonely (God I’m Lonely). No person is going to fill your loneliness void like God will.

Have you ever had a date from hell, I would love to hear it leave it in the comment section.

To purchase my book (e-book and paperback) , click on the book tab on my site.  Read the first two chapters free on Amazon.

Read More

Media Connection and Anti-Christian Attitudes.

Perhaps it is just me, but there is a changing in media that is giving Christianity a new look or rather a bad look.  Some of the re-occurring themes in the media are Christians being hypocrite, or not being who they say they are, or having attitudes that are anything but Christ like.  Let me give a few examples so that I can illustrate my point in further.

I personally enjoy watching the show “Hit the Floor.”  This season, a new basketball player was introduced.  In the first episode he was painted as a devote Christian, only to see in a few episodes later it was all fake.  First, he has sex in a church at a funeral.  His latest acts included him having a threesome with two women, while he had a girlfriend. In the show, away from the privacy of his bedroom, he puts on the “Christian face,” and everyone else sees him as a Godly person.  

Let’s go further.  I am also a fan of “True Blood.”  But if you follow the show, you will know that there was a Christian group that was so hateful against vampires that they wanted to kill them.  In one season a pastor and his wife were introduced. Even through they were both married; their Christian ways were just a façade.  They sought to have adultery with other people, or one person.  The pastor wanted to have sex with another man and his wife with the same man.

In a later season, the vampires asserted that there was a vampire Bible that came before the Christian Bible, in which they advised that Lilith was the first women on Earth and the first real vampire.  Also featured, was the child (now an adult) who danced for Herod and was responsible for the beheading John the Baptist, and she was now also a vampire. (CRAZY RIGHT).  

So what does this have to do with me as a Christian? You may be asking.  Well I think it has to do a lot with Christianity.  Turn on your television and watch to see how many anti-Christianity sentiments you find. I think you will be surprised.

There promotion of promiscuity, having open relationships with both male and female, anti monogamy, and the Christians who often painted as psycho’s. If you look on any social media today, what type of things are being valued?

The women with the most follows are half naked women who promote showing off their body in hope to get their claim to fame through Instagram.  The days in which we have solid values and morals seem to be fading away.

As Christians, it is our duty to remain watchful of such things.  In reality, it is going to happen anyway, but we must remain watchful so that we do not get caught up in the hype.  As some point and time we are going to have to go against popular belief and stand on the Christian values.  At the end of the day this is going to be hard.

I cannot tell you how many people have not liked me for not bending on something that I believe in. Or tried to force me to feel what they feel or see things how they see them, when God is telling me different. I have lost much over standing my Christian values. 

If you truly believe the Bible and the end of times, is this not want all Christians are called to go through? To be ostracized, tortured, and killed for their beliefs.  This is why we Christians must remain watchful and be able to see what is coming and not falter in our beliefs.

Just a reminder my book is still on sale.  Waiting For a Man After God’s own Heart.  I may talk a good game now, but there was a time when I was caught up in the “world” and its ways.  Read my transformation that lead me away from ungodly circumstances and relationships.  Click on the book tab to buy.  Read the first two chapters free at Amazon.

Read More

Having A Relationship Has Become A Lost Art.

When I sit and think about the aspect of "relationships" between women and men I think that meaningful relationships have been replaced with casual hookups and men and women remain in a friendship zone so that each person is free to do whatever they want with who ever they want.
Dating life consist of going to someone's home, having sex, and leaving. Gone are the days where guys actually take girls on dates to get to know them with the one day hope of becoming a committed couple. So many women cry out wondering why on Earth they are single or why men do not want to move to the next level with them, when in fact it is there own fault. A common misconception women have is that men want a bobble head that nods there head in agreement every time they say something. Women fall into this idea that as long as they are beautiful, are open for sex 24 hours a day, and are willing to bend over backward to prove themselves worthy that this is all it takes to be in a relationship.
Sadly, men now feel that a beautiful women is all they really need. So much so that many men want to take half naked pictures of their so called girlfriend and plaster it all over social media for the world to see. Or worse they patrol social media seeking the most barely dressed woman in effort to go after her for sex. Women just a little fyi. Men do not want some make shift Barbie that looks nice but really does not have anything of value to say. Your relationship cannot consist of your man looking at how pretty you are and the having sex with you. At some point this is going to get old and you are going to have to actually have a conversation and stuff in common. Men want, or they should want, a woman that inspires them to be better and reach higher. Sad to say so many relationships fail because men do not understand that beauty fades or they become use to it after a while and there has to be a brain and personality behind their pretty little face and body. They do not understand that a really good woman can be a driving force behind a highly successful man and that a nagging unmotivated woman can be the driving force behind a unmotivated man.

Gone are the days where people value relationships and being a hoe whether male or female has become the "in" thing to do. People do not see that the way we interact with each other romantically affects the wellbeing of our families and future generations. Do you really want to live in a world were peoples claim to fame is posing half naked on the internet and having a few thousand followers? Where the future mother/wife of your kids biggest success is that they came out with a sex tape? Or one where a man taking you out on a date is a lost art and they want to skip straight to sex? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but we are already there. You cannot change the world but you can change yourself. Change the type of people you allow in your life and the behavior you accept. Change the way you put yourself out there to the world. So that you can attract a good partner and save yourself a lot of drama, heartache, and pain from unhealthy relationships.

My Christian based book is still on sale at Amazon. Waiting For A Man After God's Own Heart. In both e-book and paperback. Read the first two chapters free at Amazon. Purchasing information in my book tab

Read More

Why God Doesn't Answer Prayers

In this day and age out this simple question is in the minds of many of us who believe in God. We follow God, we have enough faith, we pray, we do everything that we know how to do in our prayer life but God has still not answered our prayers. Or worse, God's answer is no. There are so many answers to the question "why God does not answer our prayers?" The most popular of these answers that we get to unanswered prayers are (God's answer is "wait" or "I have something better in mind)." But there are just time when these answers just do not apply. God is not telling you to wait nor does He have something else in mind. At least not in our eyes.


We may have prayed for a child to be healed but our prayers go unanswered. We may have prayed for a job but it doesn't come through and we are forced from our homes with no place to go. We may even pray for food to be put on the table but day in and day out our prayers go unanswered and our children go hungry. The thought that comes to our mind is "why is God wanting me to wait?" How can God have something better in mind, when each day, month, years, or even a lifetime that goes by, you still suffer.


You wonder how can this much suffering be apart of God's plan. You wonder if He is your father then why is He allowing life to continously cause you pain, and why are your prayers not being answered.
The answer to this question is hard. The only plausible explanation is that God ways are not our ways. Only He knows why he puts more suffering on one person and not the next or why when one person prays their prayers are answered within an instant while others have to wait a lifetime. If you look at Abraham in the Bible, God waited until He was beyond old to fulfill His promise of giving him a child.


And even then God only gave him one natural child after promising Abraham that his decedents would be as many as the stars. I am sure that Abraham was expecting that to happen in his lifetime not thousands of years down the line. John the Baptist was a promised child to an older barren couple. A promised child of God that spent several years in jail and was beheaded in his 30s. If his parents were alive could you imagine how angry they must have been at the time. A child they prayed so hard for, one touched by God, meeting such a tragic death.


The only conclusion that I can come up with as to why God does not answer some of our prayers is that He doesn't want to. He is God. Its not that He does not love us or wants to see us suffer, but for some reason answering some prayers are not in His will and if we try to figure it out it can cause us much frustration and resentment toward God. You should know that even the most prominent men in the Bible had their prayers unanswered. David's infant son still died after he prayed and fasted. Jesus prayed until He cried blood not to be crucified and suffer, but His prayer went unanswered. I have come to learn that our time here on Earth is such a small time in comparison to the eternity we are to spend in heaven.


So when we have unanswered prayers or are suffering in our circumstances, we must remember that it is never permanent and if we fly right we still have a perfect existence to live in heaven , for all time. So to God whatever it is we are going through it is only a fraction of a time in our lives. The only thing He wants us to do is to trust Him and look to Him for peace, so that weather our lives seems good, bad, up, or down we still trust that God can lift us out of our circumstances and show us His will in even the most terrible of situations and unanswered prayers.


If you have not already check out my book on Amazon Waiting For A Man After God's Own Heart. You can read the first two chapters free. Check out more information in the book tab.

Read More

God, I'm Lonely!

So many people do not understand that their relationship with God is the best relationship that you can ever have. And that if you have Him then you are never lonely.   Many people get upset because they feel like they do not have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or regular friends that they can turn to with all of their problems. Or when things hit the fan with these people, they fall into self pity claiming they have no one that is on their side.  My response to this, is very simple and it is something that I had to learn over time.

People will let you down.  I do not care how many friends you have or what relationships you are in, you cannot expect other people to be perfect.  There are so many people in this world that sit and cry day in and day out over the fact that they feel they have no one there for them.  There is a point in this ideology, and that is no one can be there for you the way that God is there for you.  No one can fill the void in your heart, the way God can fill the void in your heart.

So why are you out here chasing a man or women, looking for the perfect friend, or crying day in and day out and telling God that you are lonely? God will sometimes sit there silent not giving you the response that you want, because He is just waiting for you to come to one realization that is He (God) is the only real relationship that you need.

So when you feel that people are letting you down and no one can be what you want them to be, God is screaming to your spirit telling you that He is that person. God is justing putting you in the position of loneliness to make you realize this.  Some of us continually walk around in ignorance and self pity asking God why He is allowing other people to hurt you.



But the thing is, He is not allowing anything, you are.  People have free will and they are going to do whatever it is they want to do, but you cannot allow their shortcomings or downfalls affect your mood.  Because while you are at home on a Friday night complaining how no one loves you and how are you are all alone, God is just sitting there waiting for you to realize that He is there and not only does He want to talk to you, but He wants to be the friend, husband, or wife that you are looking for.

When I explain the way I have conversations with God, so many people find this mind blowing.  That is that I can talk to God about anything and that He in fact talks back to me.  Through everything that I do and everything that I am, I talk to God continually throughout the day to get His feedback on everything.

And guess what? He talks back to me to give me a perspective that only He can give.  So why are so many of us looking for other people to fulfill our loneliness?  Why are we are looking for things that can only be fulfilled through God?  Often times we get so upset about what other people have done or are doing to or for us.  Do you not know who your father is?  Do you not understand that He is perfect and has a perfect perspective and will tell you anything you need to know provided that He can trust you with the information.

Prayer does not have to be some formal ritual that is only said before meals and bed.  It is simple conversation with God.  He loves when you tell Him your frustrations, your shortcomings, your expectations, and how you feel you have failed.  He loves to hear all the things that you cannot tell other people.  After all, He knows everything that is in your heart..  He is so tired of you trying to hide it from him and claiming that you are alone when in fact He has and never will leave you or forsake you.  So many of us have such a detached perspective of God, that we do not understand that we are never alone.  No matter how alone we feel God is with us.  He wants us to talk to Him and more importantly, He wants to fix it.  He is not going to force Himself on us, He wants us to come to Him freely so that you can see who is God and that He is above and beyond any body that is here on Earth.  This is so that we can understand not to put our trust in people, but to put it in Him.  And through this trust knowledge you will have a peace that suppresses all understanding.  You can be single, alone, broke, hurt, crying, or dead on the inside.  But God is there and He wants to fix it. He just wants you to come to Him and give Him permission to fix it.

In closing, you are never alone.  God is always with you, He can be a boyfriend, father, mother, girlfriend, wife, husband, provider, lover, friend, all that you ever wanted.  Soon you will find that nothing in this world can disappoint you, because you know who you belong to, and that is God.  God is the king of kings and therefore as his child you are a rightful heir to his throne, and He can give you anything.  Just spend time with God.  Talk to Him and understand His will for you life.  Once you do, the things of the world will not upset you so much.  You will not feel lonely.  You will feel loved and complete though the one who knows you and ordained your existence.



If you haven’t already.  Please check out my book Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart.  It is not available through Amazon on paperback and e-book.  You can preview the first chapter free.   Check in the book tab for more information.

Read More

Waiting On God

By Sophia Reed MSHS

What I have come to learn through my own personal experiences, and through encouraging others, is that waiting can be one of the easiest and hardest things you can do.  This is because; it requires that nothing be done on your part and requires that you watch other people pass you by while you feel your life is being put on hold.  The crazy thing about waiting for God to do something or the things that He has promised you, is no matter how you try to bring about the promise on your own, it is just not going to work. You will fail through your own efforts, sometimes causing you more anguish and more anger toward God.

Through trying to force God’s hand, you may pray more, invest more, work more, spend more time, fast more, network more, believe more, or yell at God in attempts to make Him respond faster.  But at the end of the day, none of it is going to work because God’s timing is God’s timing.  How many of us ( I know I have) have tried to bargain with God or try to give Him advice on how to make something happen faster or better than what you think He has in mind.  This concept is funny because as I go through this process with God, He reminds me that He has thousands and thousands of years of hearing people moan and groan about waiting on His timing. He further reminds me that I can complain all I want to, but He won’t change His mind nor is my complaining bothering Him in the very least.


When you are waiting on God to do something or to fulfill a promise (i.e. a healing, marriage, job, career, money, direction, etc.).  You can know that you know that you know, that God has promised you these things, but still after days, weeks, months, or years, you do not see what He has promised you manifest.  Then in our human nature, we go into the mode of self-pity and sulking, wondering why God is doing this to us, punishing us, hurting us, hoping that God will put us out of our misery by bringing about what He promised.  When all the while God is sitting on His throne, not giving a care about our little temper tantrum. As a matter of fact, He probably finds it a bit comical.

God cares about us and He cares about our pain, but he can really care less if we are stretched thin or if we feel like we are on the brink of insanity while we are waiting for Him.  This feeling that we are going through is actually what God prefers!!! Yes!! God wants you to go through things.  Not to stay in them and fail, but to come out and win. James 1:3 states “because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” and to further my point Roman 5:4 states “and perseverance, proves character; and proven character, builds hope.”



This means that when you go through things and trust God to see you through, you build faith every time.  For example, if you are waiting on God for a husband and as you wait, instead of getting mad you trusted God you chose to grow closer to Him.  You will learn what attributes to look for in a husband because you will know to look for ones that mirror God.  The only way you will come to know the attributes that mirror God, is to spend time with Him.

If you are trusting God for a job and through all your efforts, have no way of making an income.  Trust God, He will make something out of nothing.  And even though you may not live in a way in which you are accustomed, all the things that you need will be provided for.  It is through God providing for us, and guiding us in the hardship, that we come to learn that we can trust God for anything and that in fact “He will never leave us nor forsake us” Hebrews 13:5,6.  So you see waiting for God is not to make you suffer; it is not because God is ignoring you, it is because of the opposite, He wants you to grow as a person and grow as a Christian.  So do not consider this as a burden even though it may feel like one, it’s actually a blessing and God’s way of telling you that you are growing in your faith.

Also Please Check out my Book Now On Amazon In Paperback and E-book Waiting For a Man After God’s Own Heart.  You can read the first two chapters free on Amazon.

Read More

Every man that bats an eye at you does not deserve your time.

In this episode I encourage women to stop being so desperate for a man a think what man is good for them over just any man that approaches them.  I will talk about the dangers of just letting any man in your space and how doing so can not only waste your time but can cause to fustration andmuch time wasted on a man that was worth you time in the first place.  I will teach to learn how to recognize this man and avoid him.

Listen now at.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sophiareedmft/2014/03/24/every-man-that-bats-an-eye-at-you-does-not-deserve-your-time

Read More

So you call yourself a Christian? 03/10 by Real Advice For Everyday Use | Spirituality Podcasts

So you call yourself a Christian? 03/10 by Real Advice For Everyday Use | Spirituality Podcasts



Airing at 11pm.



The thing that make Christians different is they believe is Jesus as the son of God.  So many time because we know if we repent we will be forgiven.  But just because we can repent it does not give the right to continue to sin in God's face intentionally and call it okay.  In this episode I will challenge everything you thought being a Christian was and encourage you to have a personal relationship with God.  Not just calling yourself a Christian as a safeway to do what you want.  Narrow is the path to heaven and wide is the path to hell.  Learn to know what type of behavior will get you where.  


If you miss it all shows are archived. Don't miss it. 

Read More

How To Successfully Deal With Being Single 03/07 by Real Advice For Everyday Use | Spirituality Podcasts

How To Successfully Deal With Being Single 03/07 by Real Advice For Everyday Use | Spirituality Podcasts





Tune in tonight for my show at 11pm.  And if you miss it all shows are archived so you can listen anytime.



Summary of tonights episode.


Often times people see being single as being incomplete and as a curse.  The end result is feeling inadequent in your own life and not being content with yourself.  In this episode I will talk about the positive things about being single.  I will also talk about ways to cope with your singleness so that you actually feel happy with being yourself and your single life.  Being single is not a curse and often times married people wish they were single again or wish they enjoyed their single life more.  Learn how to embrace your singleness and how doing so can prepare you for being married. Tune in. 

Read More

Blog Talk Radio Topic Taking a Look At the Recent Role Reversal of Men and Women Airing 3/6/14

I have launch my new station on Blog Talk Radio named Real Life Advice For Everyday Use.

Episode Number 2 will be airing 3/6/14 at 12pm.

Topic: Taking a Look At the Recent Role Reversal of Men and Women

Link: blogtalkradio.com/sophiareed

In this episode I will discuss the changing of the roles between men and women.  This includes women taking a more active role in being the pursuer in the relationship and men taking the more passive role in the relationship.  In this episode,  examples will be given in which men no longer feel comfortable taking on roles in which they have taken on in the past.  Also being discussed is the impact that role reversals have on current relationships and how women can learn to be women again and defining what a true man and women  is expected to be according to the Bible.

Do not forget to check out my first episode, an intro of my channel, intro of myself, and excerpts from my book.

 Episode 1 Summary

Link: blogtalkradio.com/sophiareed

The first episode is about why I decided to get into the field of counseling and how I incorporate my Christian values with my education.  A introduction of my background, my book, and what inspired me to write it.  This episode focuses on the changing of women and encourages women to reflect on their on behavior for their relationship failures.  



The first episode is about why I decided to get into the field of counseling and how I incorporate my Christian values with my education.  A introduction of my background, my book, and what inspired me to write it.  This episode focuses on the changing of women and encourages women to reflect on their on behavior for their relationship failures.

Do Not Forget to check out my book.  The Book information and trailer is in the book tab.

Read More

So Your An Internet Model, So is Every Girl On the Internet. Stop Disrespecting Yourself!

　　As a mother and a woman, I have found a reoccurring theme among women that is sadly disappointing me.  With the prevalence of social media, it would seem that some women have lost all of their senses, self dignity, and commence to becoming “models” on the internet.  When I refer to models, many normal pictures I do not have a problem with, provided that you have clothes on and appear respectable.  What I am referring to is women appearing spread eagle on Instagram so that you can see so far up their vag, that their cervix is showing.  Now this may offend some people, but I think it needs to be said.  I am all for loving your body as art as the next, but somethings as a woman, mother, and wife just need to end.
　　
　　I was on a Facebook profile recently only to see this mother having naked pictured publicly displayed for all the world to see.  What made it worse was that she was proud to have her breast, butt, and vagina out showing.  I pondered what goes through the mind of women like this.  Do they honestly think their kids are proud of them or that their children would be proud to show their mother off with half her body showing?  What example do they think this sends to their daughter or son?
　　
　　It really saddens me how some of these women think today.   They feel they have nothing going on aside from their body they can succeed at, and the only way they can have attention is by appearing naked on the internet and not even getting paid for doing this.  Guess what women, if you do not get paid to “model” then you are not one.  I am not against models as long as it is done tastefully.  What I am against is women exploiting themselves and feeling like they have achieved some level of success, by being naked online and having a few thousand followers.
　　
　　As I look at social media today I see pictures of drinks, partying, and women passed out in public with their legs open.  Since when did this become popular culture.  I am not against partying or drinking, but to do it almost every night and post an excess of pictures about it is disrespectful to the woman; and the sad thing is they do not even know it.


　　
　　I cannot express into words how much of a disrespect and disservice women do to themselves.  Although this may seem “cute” now, in a few years when you are looking for a husband, will he think your half naked drunk pictures are “cute” and someone he wants to wife up?  When you have children or when your children gets older and their friends look at their mother’s social media pages will your naked body plastered all over the internet be cute then?
　　
　　Us women complain about men so much, stating that they are only after one thing.  But did the woman stop to think, the only thing that is being offered is one thing.  Men have become socially inept.  They no longer want to take women out on dates or even have conversations outside of sex. Because sex is what they are use to and they think this is all the woman has to offer.  By the time they see a women in person, they have seen what her entire body already looks like just by browsing her Facebook page.  Therefore, why even try to to impress her, she is offering her vagina up on silver platter for the taking, no need to work for anything.
　　
　　Until us women start seeing ourselves as better then men are not going to see us as better.  And it needs to be done as a whole.  Because as it stands, men see it as what this woman won’t do, the next one will.  So even those women who try to have standards get bypassed because the man sees it as too much work and can just move on to the half naked model on the side.
　　
　　There is nothing wrong with being beautiful or having self confidence in yourself.  It is wrong when you feel like posing naked is all you have and that your naked body plastered on social media is your claim to fame.  Proverbs 31:3- states that charm can be deceiving and beauty fades away.  Meaning that just because you are beautiful now or have a nice body now, does not mean it is going to be that way in 20 years.  And when that times comes, because it will come, you are going to need to have something going on in your brain that says “I am worth something.”
　　
　　For those who are like this thinking that you already have a man and that he does not mind you showing all your goods to the world.  Let me tell you a secret.  That is not a real man.  No real man is going to want to share his woman’s body to the world.  The only thing he sees your as is what you present yourself to be, and that is an object or a toy that he wants to show off.  No real man would want his girlfriend, wife, or mother of his children to show her charms for every Tom, Dick, and Harry to see.  Women need to start  to know their worth and have a bigger purpose in life and more aspirations, asides from posing naked on the internet.
　　
　　Do not forget my book Waiting For a Man After God’s Own Heart, Encouragement for Women and Single’s Mothers is now on Amazon.  Click on the Book tab for more information.

Read More

Use of the N-Word by Those Who are not Black. Its never Okay!

This topic is something that is going to be controversial and is something that is near and dear to me.  This topic really stemmed from a recent event in which a celebrity Madonna used to the word “nigga” to describe her white son.  Upon further research I found that in 2011 Barbera Walters used the words “nigger” to report on a certain subject matter in which the word was being used.  I do not feel either of these women are racist, but, in both cases they did not understand the outrage by blacks with the use of this words, since they did not use it as a racist term.

Surfing the internet, I was shock to find that the word “nigga” was openly being used by white people as a term of endearment.  What was even more shocking, is that they saw nothing wrong with this and could not understand the outrage of blacks.  Culturally, I think that for the most part, the majority of blacks would say that it is never okay for someone that is not black to use this word.  I am in the majority and agree with this.  I do not care how you use it, how you mean it, it is just not okay.

I do not know if I could ever try to explain this to those that are not black, but I will seek to try.  The term “nigga” stemmed from the word “nigger.”  As we know the word “nigger” was used in slaves times and beyond to be used toward blacks as a derogatory term.  Throughout time the term “nigger” has be transformed to “negro” to described black people (this word often not seen as derogatory) and then transformed by blacks into the term “nigga” to be used as a term of endearment.  So you may asked, if “nigga” is a term of endearment, why can’t it be used by others races without black people getting offended?

As I explained above, for blacks our history of this words is so rich.  We have been called “niggers” as a way to downgrade us, and the black race is the one that has decided to transform the word.   It upsets black people so much when others use it because we feel that they have not earned the right.  They do not know what it is like to be a “nigger” and therefore cannot understand the way in which we use it now as “nigga.”  Because no matter what, even to this day if a white person was to call me “nigger” it would offend me highly.  As a matter of fact when I was 8 years old a white boy spit in my face and called me a “nigger” in which I commenced to whopping his tail.  But my point is if another white person was to call another white person “nigger” it would hold no weight with them.  They would shrugged it off, because they are not black.  The reason being is because they have not gone through the “nigger” history and so for them they can never get a full understanding of the new transformed word “nigga.”  So for blacks, it is apart of our history in what we have gone through.  From being called “nigger,” to “negro,” and now “nigga.”  Since whites and other races have not shared the full history of the word, blacks now feel that cannot share in the transformation of the word.  And many see it as disrespect to those who try.  Myself included.  I hope this explains the use of the word to other races that may not understand where use blacks are coming from.  And how the use of the word outside of our race, even when used as a term of endearment, is not okay.

Do not forget to buy my book Waiting For a Man After God's Own Heart.  Check out the book tab.

Read More