Every time I think that I am ready for a relationships it always takes an act of God (literally) to show me that I am not.
I always hear those women who say that they can look beyond the physical attributes of man and just pay attention to their personality, that is not me. I have the problems of choosing a fine man over a good man any day.
For some strange reason, I have a very difficult time finding a good and a fine man. It really seems that they are either one or the other. I have not mastered the art of looking beyond the physical and I frankly do not feel that I have to. Now if you are a women that is able to look past the outward appearance, then more power to you. It is just unfortunate that God has not blessed me with that gift.
I thought that I was past my bad boy stage, but it seems like the thing in relationships that you think you have conquered will always come and smack you in the face. That test was the same type of man that I always fell for.
This consisted of:
- physically attractive
- does not want to settle down
- we have nothing really in common nor do we have the same goals.
But after years, this is the frist man that I am interested in. I have written a blog on choosing love over lust (click here). But sometimes this is easier said than done.
In my blog “ Will The real Boaz Please Stand up” (click here).
I gave so many characteristic on the real Boaz verses these fake man trying to walk around and convince us women that they are good. I am convinced that us women have become so accustomed to the bad men, that when we see them, we tell ourselves we mind as well just take the pick of the liter from a whole bunch of bad men. After all, most men are the same now a days, at least I can choose one that is nice to look at if he is going to be a jerk.
This is a sad way to be and a sad thought process. I can relate to this thought process because despite how far I think I have come I still fall for the fine man, with 100 pounds of baggage dragging behind him.
For myself, I have come to think with my rationale brain. I must ask myself:
Do I really love this man or just his 6 pack?
Does this man really love me or just my backside?
If I was stranded in the middle of no where and I had one bar left on my phone, one person to call to come get me, would I call him and trust him to come save me?
If the answer is no. Then, you more than likely do not love this man and he does not love you. It is just lust.
When Ruth decided to choose Boaz, Boaz said an amazing thing:
“The Lord bless you, my daughter,” he replied. ‘This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.”’ Ruth 3:10
I do not know if Boaz was unattractive or just had low self esteem. What I do know is that somehow, some way, he felt that Ruth could have done better. But she didn’t. She chose a good man. One that had a track record for taking care of her. One that she knew could love her, because the encounter that she had with him from the very beginning were attributed of a man trying to win over a women.
I am talking to you women and also myself. Whenever you get blindsided by that fine man that has nothing to offer you but being a nice piece of eye candy. You may want to back off. A fine man can only get you so far, but a good man can take you the rest of the way.