Friday, August 8, 2014

Being Single is Better!

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This is going to sound really morbid or anti relationships but I do not intend it to be.  Everyone that reads my blog knows that I am single and I have come to be quite content in it.  In fact, I think I have almost became too content.  This was not always the case (click here to check out my book).  As I have had a series of bad interactions and relationships with men.

One Bible verse that rings out to be very loudly is the one from

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

“The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Before you stop reading I am not telling anyone to go and join and convent if you are not married so that we can spend the rest of your life in solitude.  But have you ever stop to think how much work relationships are?

There are good times in relationships but there are also bad ones as well.  Whenever you are married or with someone you have an obligation to always consider their feelings and put their needs before your own.  Relationships are about giving to the other person and the other person giving to you.  And if this aspect is unbalanced in any way, then it lead to frustration.

In the past when I first began a relationships it was all lovey dovey of course because sex was always incorporated into the mix.  This is why I stress when entering a relationship with someone it is always best to abstain from sex so you can get to see the person full out without your hormones influencing your opinion.

When you start a relationships by actually trying to get to know each other it is pretty freakin hard.  This is what the above verse of the Bible meant.

When you are single the only real person you have to worry about is you.  If you are a single mother like I am, of course you have to worry about your kid, but I am pretty much free to do me most of the time.

Meaning I do not have to ask for permission about where I want to go and I do not have to worry about a man living up to my expectation or my disappointments (relationships do have disappointments even if they are good ones).

When I think about past dating experiences or relationships, it sometimes just gives me a headache to think of how much effort, time, and emotions it took.  Often time I think to myself, “Do I really want to revisit all of that at this point in my life?”

9 times out of 10 I don’t.  And the other 1 time there is something about someone else’s relationship or a experience that makes me realize, “yeah, I am not ready to do this whole relationships thing again (see my blog on coveting other people’s relationships).”  I have counseled so many people unhappy in their relationships and marriages (both young and old).  Marriage can be great, but if you some how feel that it will solve all of your problems in life, sad to say you are seriously misguided.

Contentment in your relationship status is key.  Because if you can be happy single, then you can be happy in a relationships.  Contrary to popular belief relationships are not what brings happiness, it just brings more responsibilities and someone else’s baggage to go along with it.

I am not going to go on a anti-relationship rant, but I want you to see what I am saying is right.  If you absolutely feel that you must be with someone.  Then get a dog or a good group of friends to hang with (see my blog here on finding good friends). Do not force yourself to be in something that you are just not ready for. And end up getting hurt in the process.