I feel that there is a curse and a blessing when following the path of God. The curse part is my own words and not God’s of course, but sometimes this is how I feel. The closer you get with God, the more you will have to learn to reject the ways of the world and go with what God is telling you to do. And this can sometimes hurt you to the core.
In my life, going with the ways of God means that I have had to stop idolizing the things that I wanted out of life and understand that the things that God was giving me was sufficient. This is easier said that done. I had stop with feeling like me getting married or being in a relationship was the only source to my happiness. I had to stop and realize that me having a million dollars should not define me or my happiness.
Although I want to get married and I want a million dollars, if these things never happen I have to be content in what God has given me. This is because I have to learn to trust God and trust that He is giving me exactly what I need at whatever point I am in my life. I also had to learn that my identity is not given to me by money or a husband, but in God.
Although this sounds easy, it takes an understanding that all the things you want out of life really means nothing and only God matters. It is not to say that God does not want to give you a husband, children, mansion on the hill, or more money than you can count; but He does not want you to get your identity through these things. Because to God, none of these things matter and if He feels that by giving you these things it will take your attention away from Him; then He is not going to give it to you.
This train of thought goes against everything our flesh is telling us to do. Our flesh tells us that to be somebody we must have a picture perfect life, and if we do not have these things then something must be wrong with us. God must not love us. We must not believe hard enough or be praying hard enough because God is not giving us what we want.
It is a fine line between seeing God as someone who wants to lead and guide us in the life path that He wants for us and seeing Him as a genie. For me, and for many people, I have felt that these things go hand and hand. If I ask God for something then of course I should get it.
How many times has your Christian life turned into something of self centeredness in which you only focus on you, what you want, what you are not getting, and when things are not happening for you then nothing else matters.
I used to be that person and still am often times. But I have learned one lesson. Even when I was struggling, lonely, stressed out, and do not feel close to God; when faced with a test or opposition doing what God wants me to do still comes first even if I do not feel like it.
And this is what we call growth. Being a Christian is not about you, it is about showing and teaching others through your life. Believe it or not, when times are hard, when you are depressed, when you are praying for a break through and nothing is happening, those who know you are Christian are watching you to see what you do. They want to see if you walk the walk or just talk the talk. They want to see if you are willing to turn your back on God because you are going through a hard time or not getting what you want; or if you are willing to praise God in the midst of the storm.
I know when I first started on being serious about my Christian walk. When I prayed something happened, when i wanted something I got it, and I thought this is what God was all about. As time went on I noticed that God wanted to see what I was going to do when I felt like His love was not about giving me what I wanted. When the real life problems started to hit, would I still remain true on the things He has taught me?
How many of you feel the same way? Like God is no where to be found because when you pray nothing is happening? You have to view your situation and God in a different way. I read an excerpt from a book called the Screw tape letters it states:
“God withdraws. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. It is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our God’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”
Man this verse is deep it gives me the chills. So when God does not give you want you want, when all your enemies are bless and you are looking lost and forsaken, and even when you feel that God is gone BUT you still chose to obey the what God is telling you to do, then you have past the test. Not only have you past, but you are almost invincible in the things of the world. And this is what you want, and the key to getting everything you want.