Monday, March 30, 2015

Maturity Leads You To Better Relationships.

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As I was speaking to females friends of mine few weeks ago, we got into the heated topic of relationships.  What I basically suggested was that sometimes you cannot be in a rush to get into relationships, because the same people that I would have dated 8 years ago are no were near the same people that I would have dated now.  I cannot imagine getting married to any of the men that I dated and I fear that I would have lost by mind by now had I done so.

This past weekend I had to do a dissertation preparation course in northern VA  for my PhD.  As I sat in the class I think I really was in awe of life and the life that God has given me.  I was in awe that I was sitting among all these highly educated and professional people.  And even more so, I was now one of those educated and professional people.  I was in awe of the intellectual conversation that I was having in class and how this was a marked changed from the conversation that I would have before I had my son.

Oh my how I had change, and even more so it was a good change.  And during the same weekend I met a fellow learner that was not in my class but was doing his dissertation presentation course as well.  Even though I was not attracted to this man this was not the point.  It was the fact that there are real men out there that act as such, and I guess I had been so used to the bad ones that I kind of got accustomed to expecting their nonsense.

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During the course of the weekend the gentleman ask to get my car from valet for me, when I told him I had not parked in valet, he then walked me a block and a half to my car talking to me all the way.  None of the conversation had to do with sex or anything inappropriate it was just normal INTELLECTUAL conversation.  During the second day he presented me with his business card in which he was a senior executive at his company dealing with computers.  During breakfast, he offered to get up and get my breakfast for me.  It was a delightful experience to see that chivalry was not dead.

And even more so, it proved my point.  As we grow, mature, and get further in our life paths, whatever that life path may be; we attract better friendships and most importantly relationships.  As I was sitting next to two fellow students, one who was recently engaged.  Her story was very romantic at the fact that the original ring she wanted had gotten sold, and her fiance went to the store and got the same ring custom made for her.  And the other  student was in her mid 30’s  and in a relationship for two or three years.  She had bought a home with her boyfriend and was expected a proposal any day now, hopefully at the party that he was planning for her.

She even mentioned that she was glad that she waited to be a relationship, sharing the same sentiments as myself.  And that is that she was a mess in her 20’s and it was not until now that she was able to meet someone so awesome, because she was more mentally and emotionally stable.

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I am not saying anything about women who get married in their 20’s but I am saying something to do who are so desperate to get married that they are missing it (see my blog here).  They are missing out on life, missing the opportunity to grow into mature human beings and attract someone who is equally mature.  Ten years ago I would have settled for the bottom of the barrel and thought because I had someone that this was a good thing.  Over looking all their shortcomings and focusing on the .00001% of good that they give me.  But it is not like that anymore, I know that I am better and therefore I deserve better. And when women finally come to this realization, it is then and only then that it will not matter if they are still single.  They will choose to be single then in a bad relationship.

Some people may call this being too independent, trust me I have heard it all.  But as a woman I have no problems submitting to a man and a husband as long as I deem him to be worthy of submitting to.  I would not dare submit to a man that I could not trust with my emotions, to treat me right, or to treat my son right (see my blog here in true meaning of being submissive).  So until I find someone who is worth submitting to or better yet he finds me (He who find a wife, finds a good thing Proverbs 18:22  See my blog here).  I am perfectly happy enjoying the ride and attention from real men that have something to offer.