Take think about this Bible passage.
“The LORD said to Samuel, 'How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.'" 1 Samuel 16:1It was around this time that Saul had lost favor with God and God wanted to anoint a new king. Instead of accepting this, Samuel was grieving, crying, sitting around mourning over what was already done and could never be changed. God was not going to change His mind, He had another king already in mind. And Samuel needed to anoint him. However, Samuel was sitting around stuck on Saul and God finally called out to him.
It was like God was saying,
“How long Samuel, are you going to sit here being all depressed over the fact that Saul is no longer king. It is over, it is done with, and there is nothing that is going to change my mind. Instead of sitting there being sad over what you cannot change. I have already chosen someone else and I need to use you to go get him.”
I am paraphrasing of course, but I am sure this is what God was thinking. And even more so, how many of us is God also saying this too. If Samuel was to sit and stay stuck in one place over the fact that Saul was not king then there would have never been a David (click here for more on the life of David). There would not have been a slaying of Goliath, the killing of thousands of Philistines, nor would there be the birth of Solomon, the wisest king in the Bible.
If you have missed the point that I am trying to get at, wallowing in self pity and depression and the past will quickly make you miss your future. This is why is is so important that we let go of the relationship that we know we are not supposed to be in, the friendships that are toxic to us, the past situations that have caused us pain, forgiving ourselves for times in which we were wrong and caused others pain, forgive the people that have done us wrong, or the unfair treatment or circumstances that we had to endure. There is no going into a time machine to change it and since there is no changing it the only person that it is effecting is us and our future.
I cannot tell you how many years that I have spent on dating men in the hopes that they would change or come around. I know God was saying,
“How long are you going to waste time on this loser, before you move on and see that he is not it?”
I have been lied on and treated unfairly by other people even by people that I considered friends, and people that I did no wrong to. I would sometimes sit and tell God about how unfair it is, and that I did not do anything but yet I was the one getting punished. I was sit and blame God for not protecting me from these God awful people and situations.
It was as if God was saying, “How long are you going to be upset about what they did, you cannot change it? So you mine as well move on from it.”
Can you imagine if Samuel was still stuck on Saul when he anointed David? He could have treated David bad or punished him for being anointed the new king, when David had nothing to do with God's decision. That is the same thing that can happen to us, we can ruin a new blessing by bringing unresolved past issues with us to future blessings.
I am not saying this as someone who does not have a shaky past. I am not saying this as someone who has not had to endure jealously, lies, gossip, unfair treatment, and people not like me for being a Christian, being black, or because I was the person that I was. They hurt me for reasons I did not know, over a man, or even no really good reason at all. And even though I would start to despise them for what they did I had to get over it. People who have done you wrong want you to hate them back so they can feel they have justification for their maltreatment of you.
But what I have come to learn is that you cannot waste valuable time trying to fight them or even feeling sorry for yourself for what they did. If God allowed it to happen then it must be something else that He has in store for the future, right? Even though you may not get it, even though you may not understand it, you have to trust that God wants you to come out of your past and on to a bigger and better future. You can never look forward if you are always looking back. And if you are always looking back, you will have trouble moving forward because you will be bumping and stumbling on things along the way. If you are looking back, you cannot see what is in front of you and you won't be able to avoid the obstacles ahead. So it is best to keep the past behind you, and always keep your eyes forward. Learning from the past, forgiving those from the past, and looking better to a brighter future no matter what you have gone through.