The idea of being 30 and single would lead the conversation with me and my over 30 single women friends. It was as though we were obsessed with it. I can recall one man that I dated in which he was attractive but no where near a good fit for me and he would often stand me up and not keep his word. My divorced friend told me that since I wanted to get married I should just accept it and not make a big deal about it. She also told me that I was too opinionated, and when talking to men even if I did not agree with them and felt like they were talking crazy; I should just nod my head and agree to show my willingness to submit. At this I gave her a crazy look and the response, that I could not agree with being treated like a door mat.
I am all for being submissive to my husband but not being your bobble head girlfriend/wife that agrees with every thing you say, no matter if I agree with it or not (see my blog here on the true meaning of being submissive). After many years, YES, years of getting myself into a anger frenzy about being single I just let it go. This is because I realized something. There is more to this world for me then having the title as someones wife. I started to dream and think of other things that I wanted to accomplish in this life and that put an end to my whining and pining over not being married.
I think when you finally find a purpose in your life and when you find goals that you are moving toward, you no longer think of the minor things that are lacking in your life. Because being in a relationship and being married is important to me, but it is not the only thing that matters to me. What matters more is that I would like to give my son the world, I want to give myself the world. I want to have the freedom and financial security to travel and make my mark on society by doing the things that I am gifted at. All of a sudden this became more important to me than the ring on my finger.
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
I have come to learn that as you learn and develop your life purpose you learn more about yourself and what you want out of life. When you know these things about yourself then you can better learn what to look for in the person that you are suppose to be with. And while you wait, you can actively chose to be happy and satisfied being single.