Thursday, April 23, 2015

How I Stop Being Desperate For Marriage

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Image result for how to stop being desperate for marriageI can recall the days in which I use to fantasize about getting married.  I used to talk to all my other single friends about how much we wanted to get married and how wonderful it would be when we get there.  But one day something clicked in my mind and everything changed.  Do not misunderstand me, I do want to get married eventually but as it stands it is not that much of a priority any more.

Let me explain.  I am a firm believer in God speaking to people in dreams.  Not all dreams but some dreams.  There are plenty of biblical accounts of God speaking to people in their dreams and about two or three years ago, this happened to me.  I can recall the dream still so vividly to this day.  The dream was about my future husband.  I saw him.  Well not really saw him, I saw the back of his head and the way in which he was dressed. And even more so, there was a feeling that was associated with the dream.  A feeling of happiness and the whole vibe of him.  It was in that dream that I knew that the only way to my future husband was to continue on the path that God has given me to go, because I know that on that journal my husband will be there.

As I reflect on how I was prior to this dream, I can recall of how much time I wasted day dreaming and talking about getting married and finding a good man.  It really was exhausting and it was detouring me away from the real things that I was suppose to be doing.

Image result for desperate for marriageThe way I see is that when you get to heaven is God going to congratulate you on finding a husband or is he going to congratulate you on fulfilling your life purpose.  Therefore what do you think is more important to God in this life.  The time that we waste thinking, lusting, and thinking about marriage.  Or being patient, doing the things we felt we were called to do and allowing God to bring that right person to come to us.

I cannot tell you how many of the good marriages happen when people were not looking for love.  They were just going about their merry little way, and then BAM it happened.  I feel that when you go about love this way, you have a lens on in which you can see people for who they really are.  Meaning that if you are desperate for love, then you will take anyone and accept anybody, sometimes causing more pain to yourself.  But when you step out of the desperation and keep focused on yourself and what you are suppose to be doing, then you can clearly see the type of person that is good for you and that will go along with your life and life purpose.

Now as it stands, even at 31 years old.  I do not mind being single.  I do not mind telling people that I am over 30, not married, and I do not mind telling people my age.  Why should I mind?  I have accomplished many things in my short years of being here on Earth and God willing I will still accomplish more to come.

With that dream that I mentioned it was a knowing.  I knew this man was a hard worker and I knew he was a good man.  And most of all in that dream, it was not even a man that I would have pictured for myself.  Not at all, he was much better.  And believe me I have a grand imagination of what I want my husband to be and I have dated some pretty attractive men, and he was much better than that.

Image result for desperate for marriage
The reason why I never thought of a man like this is because in some way I did not think I could deserve a man like that.  I was not reaching that high at that point in my life.  I was just going from day to day not doing anything really important or significant, so why would I get a man that was important and significant.  And with that dream, God told me that I needed to change.  He saw me as important and significant, and He could not understand why I was not living up to what I was created for.  Not only to get the man, but to get the many promises and gifts that God has in store for me.

And guess what, I bet it is the same for you.   You have to clear out all these negative emotions in order to get your direction and see what type of life God really wants for you.  And since God is the King of Kings, and we are his children (direct decedents of royalty), God wants to give you an inheritance.  But like all kings, He will only give you your inheritance when He feels you can be responsible with it.

In closing, instead of being desperate for a marriage.  Be desperate for God, and all the rest will come in due time.