Blog Tip Tuesday. Free Ways To Drive Traffic To Your Blog

I am one of those people who have had their blog up and running for a while.  But just because you have a blog does not mean that you are going to have tons and tons of traffic flocking to it.  Through much trail and error I have finally found some good free ways to bring traffic to my blog.  I feel that the free ways are the best ways.  The reason being is because you build an audience that is going to come back to your blog as oppose to paying for people to come and they only visit once.


So here are some free tips to help you drive traffic to your blog.

 1. Guest Blogging

Guest blogging is great.  But there us a way to do it and not to do it.  If you want guest blogging to be worth your time and bring traffic to your blog then these Do’s are a must.

Do make sure you guest blog for something in your niche.

Guest blogging for people in your niche is like shooting fish in a barrel.  All the readers from the other blog are already interested in the topic you are writing about so it is more likely to get valuable readers if they choose to click your blog.

Do get back link.

A back link is where you get to put your blog URL with the guest post.  Without a black link it is pointless.  A back link tells the readers of the guest post where you blog is so they can visit.  Also by having a back link it helps your (SEO) search engine optimization and it is easier for others to find your blog through a search engines, because it ranks higher.

2. Link Ups.

There are so many links ups.  A link up is basically where you put a post to a link up so others can find it and read about it.  To get the most from links up, do the same ones every week.  This is so you can become a regular member and make connections from other bloggers and readers.

Also be sure to post within link up that are within your niche, this is for the same reason as listed above. Some link ups will actually have a feature or put the links up on Pin interest, Twitter, or Facebook; especially if they have thousands and thousand of followers of views to their blog.  All this adds to your exposure and putting your links on other sites helps with your (SEO).   All of which drive traffic to your site.

To make Link ups worth your time, try to at least do about five a day.  The more the better.

3. Viral Buzz (Click Here)

There are many sites like Viral Buzz but this is the only one that I find valuable.  It deals mostly with social media.  Essentially you get points by sharing other peoples blog post and they get points for sharing yours.

The best way to get traffic from this is when sharing other people’s posts, make sure it is within your niche.  Also, read their blog first to make sure it is something you agree with.

This gives you the chance share good information to your followers and it will also give you a chance to get your best post shared through other people’s social media pages.  Some people will share your post even if it is not in their niche.  This is not ideal, but if they have several thousand followers a some read your post.  It is likely that if they like it they will become a follower or a fan of your blog.


Another tip for Viral Buzz is to alway chose the tweet option where they tweet you as well.  So if people like your blog post they can find your page and you might get followers as well.

4.  Comment On Other  Blogs.

This can be done through link ups.  When you read other people blogs put comments on int he comments section.  And not just “hey I liked this blog.”  Actually read it and put a good comment chances are they will speak back to you and even visit your blog.

You can do this with any blog other than a link up.  Putting comments on really popular blogs will give their readers a chance to see it and also check out your blog.

This will work best with commenting to blogs that are within your niche and not spamming.  When putting a comment there is no need to shamelessly plug in your blog URL over and over again so that they see it.

This will more than likely annoy them.  Instead, when putting a comment most ask for your name, URL info, or Social media info.  If people like your comment then they will click on this information and visit your blog anyway.  Without the spam.

Also by putting your name and URL option with a comment, this also is a back link and helps with your SEO.

5.  Social Media.

I am not a master of this yet because I do not spend that much time on social media.  However, the times I have done it, it has been worth my time.  If you follow important people in your niche, if your social media page is worth wild then they will follow you back. This can even work if you get a celebrity to follow you.

Or if anyone with several thousand followers follows you it is a good thing.  If you post your blog on social media and can get them to share or re-tweet your blog post, to their thousands of followers.  Not only will it drive traffic to your blog but also get you some new followers.

That is it for this Blog Tip Tuesday.  Tune in next week for new blog tips.

Be Blessed!

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Stop Picking Yourself Apart.

I have very guilty of this myself.  As I’m sure most women are.  How many times have you stood in front of the mirror and thought that your waist could be skinnier, you breast bigger, your hair longer, your nose smaller, or you should be taller.


I am amazed at how many celebrities have gotten plastic surgery on their already beautiful face.  I am not saying that I am against plastic surgery, I am just saying that sometimes we look at ourselves and cannot accept our own natural beauty and instead of being thankful for the way that God made us, we seek to fix things bout ourselves all in efforts to be perfect.

Let’s move away from appearance, how many of you wish your home was bigger, you were smarter or had more degrees?  How many times have you looked at other women and wish you were like them?

I stand only 5”2 and have an average built.  I always thought if only I was a little taller, a little skinnier, or a littler lighter then.....  It is unfortunate that darker skinned women are not always seen as a persona of beauty.

There was a time before I went natural that I would be obsessed with my hair.  It was much longer and I felt my long hair is what mad me beautiful.  It was my decision to cut my hair that I decided to accept to be beautiful in the skin I am in.

I am come to realize that I was made by God.  God does not make mistakes and the way He made you is for a reason.  I am all for improving yourself, but let it be for the right reasons.  Do not let it be because you want to be like someone else.

The fact of the matter is that there is a lot of beauty and uniqueness inside you.  When you both discover and accept that, I promise you your outlook on life will be completely different.

Does it matter that you do not look like a model on a magazine?  With the use of Photo shop half the models in the magazines do not look like that.

Does it matter that you do not have seven PhD’s and two master’s to prove that you are smart?

Does it matter that when most people look at you, you do not fit the “stereotypical” definition of beauty?

So what? You have the ability redefine what people think about you.  You have the ability to change the perception of yourself and with it you change other people’s perception of you.

“What a man thinks in his heart so is He.” Proverbs 23:7


Therefore, if you believe that you are beautiful, talented, smart, successful, or a masterpiece, and the one and only person made this way by God.  Then you are that, you will become that, and other people will believe it too.

The point is you are never going to match other people’s ideal of perfection if you keep matching then up to other people’s ideals.  The only person that has to be happy with you, is you and God.  As long as you appease these two people then you job is done.

Be you, be happy, be unique.  Accept yourself for who you are and see a beauty and grace in yourself, because there is some there.


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Think Like A Queen To Get Your King

A true rag to riches story is the story of Esther.  This is a true example that dreams really do come true.  Can you imagine being Esther? Growing up as an Jewish orphan and then one day you are queen.  I often read the book of Esther so many times and each time I get something out of it.

It is my opinion that we can all be Esther.  We can all find our King.  There is something that we can all learn from Esther and her behavior as to how she found her king.  Esther was rounded up with God knows how many virgins, but something from the very beginning made Esther stand out.  I am confident that if women follow some of the same basic steps, we too can find our kings.

1. Esther gain favor with all those who saw her.  I mean really and truly she did.  She must have been some remarkable woman to win over every person that meant her.  From the time she was rounded up she won the favor of the guard over the virgins. So much so that he gave her a special room in the palace and she had women to tend to her needs.

She was not even queen yet but already had servants and a special place in the king’s castle.

There is a point in this.  You should try to be nice and win the favor over everyone you meet.  The fact of the matter is you never know who is watching you.  Your “king” could be watching you from afar and if every other word that comes out of your mouth is a curse word, then this is not going to convince him that you are a queen.

Also you never know if the person you are speaking to has a single friend or single brother they want to hook you up with.  Better yet, if a man has his eye on you and he ask someone who knows you about the type of person you are, you want them to say something good about you.

If you have a reputation for acting ugly, I am sure this type of behavior is not going to help you find someone that is really worth being with.

2. Esther went through beauty treatments for a whole year before she was eligible to be brought before the king.

Can you imagine being in the palace knowing that the king is looking for a queen, but have to wait a whole year minimum before you even meet him because you have to endure beauty treatments?  I am not recommending everyone book a weekly trip to the spa, but I am asking you to look deeper.

If you want a relationship are you really ready?  Are there some skeletons in your closet that you need to get out?  Or perhaps you need to address some neediness or jealousy type issues?  My point is just like Esther had to go through the beauty treatments to prepare herself for the king.  There are some things you may need to go through and deal with before you meet your king.  When you get married, life does not end with rose petals and bubbles being thrown in your face everyday.

You may need to cook for your family, clean up after them, not go out until 4am every other day of the week.  Do not wait until the day comes and your not ready, get ready now and this can actually make you more appealing.

3.  Esther knew how to get her way.

Esther was known for stopping the persecution of the Jews.  This was no easy task.  Esther could have went about it the wrong way by nagging the king or coming before him making demands risking her head getting chopped off.

Even when Esther went before the king uninvited, thankfully her head did not get chopped off but she did not start making demands on the king.  Instead she FED him! That’s right she gave him a table full of food two nights in a row before even asking for something.

My point is there is a way to do something and a way to not do something.  Being a screaming, nagging, and throwing temper tantrums type of woman to get your way is not cute and not right.  Women fail to realize that you can easily get what you want from a man without trying to forcibly change him.

All you have to do is cater to his ego, and then gently ask what you want.  Make sense.

The Bible is never outdated.  In fact, the examples of the women in the Bible if studied close enough, they were very strong and determined women.  As I now read the book of Esther I do not see some lonely orphan that was lost in the world.  I can see that all of her moves were strategically calculated from the time she entered the palace to get the King that she wanted.

She did not get this by being fake.  She got these for being herself and understanding the characteristics of being a Queen.  Her counterpart the queen before Esther, Vashti, on the other hand did not and she was banished from the King’s presence forever and a better woman took her place.

The morale of this story is not to go out to takes someone else’s man.  But to be a queen you must think like one.  

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Praying Through The Pain, Easier Said Than Done.

Prayer through your hardships.  I know I am not the only person that has had a hard time understanding or accepting this idea.  As Christians praying when times are hard for us it what we are expected to do.  We listen to preaching and teaching that tells us when we pray through our hardships that we will be filled with peace and even though the storm is raging all around us nothing will seem to matter.

But.  What if that just simply is not happening?  What if you are depressed, hurting, sad, fearful, broke, jobless, lonely, addicted, or a combination of all of these things and you pray and pray and pray and pray....but the peace still does not come?

Do you find fault with yourself.  Since God is perfect and He is love, then there must be something wrong with you right? Or is it the way that you are praying? Or do you some how feel that you are the only one in the planet that God does not love because He has not shown up for you the way He has shown up for everyone else?

And then you get even more depressed.  Because God is supposed to love everyone but since what your doing is not working then God must not love you!

You could also be that person who no matter what is going on you simply cannot pray through your hardships.  Life is just too hard, things suck way too much, you’ve gone through too much, or been disappointed too much.  You feel you cannot muster up the energy to pray because if you do and it does not work, then you somehow feel disappointed again.

Is this you? Does any of it sound familiar?

Well if it doesn't, then I guess I am the only human being that has ever been faced with hardships and not wanting to talk to God about it because I do not want to hear His happy go lucky answer.

I know you may be thinking I am bold with the way and am speaking but you have to understand that this is me and God’s dynamic (read my blog here on praying).  I have come to learn that I do not need to be a sugar plum gum drop when I go in front of God and pretend that everything is alright when I know (and He knows) they aren't.

I have come to think that God laughs at my stubbornness sometimes and pays my little hissy fits no mind.  But to me they matter, sometimes I want to scream things are falling apart! HELP!

God’s answers are always not yet, there will be some more hardships, the time where things will change is near.  But as day in and day out comes and I see no change, I get mad at God.  I feel that He is lying to me.  Even though I know the Bible says that God cannot lie, I feel somehow God is lying to me, after all things are not going my way. So I have to blame someone.

I still have pain, struggle, and all the rest of the up’s and downs that life has to offer.  And unlike the prefect Christians prancing along all around me I have no peace!

Have you ever heard the expression that people forget to pray when things are good and pray when things get bad.  I am the complete opposite, when things are good for me, me and God are like BFF’s. But when they are bad, I pray through my hardships for a little while, but when its get harder or I see no peace the last thing I want to do is pray about it.

I feel like God could have controlled what that person did to me, how they treated me, how they are cheating me, when I am low on money, or things do not work as fast as I like.  After all He is God, He can do anything.  Why can’t He do something for me now?

Instead of praying though my hardships I even have gone through the Bible, quoting scripture back to God to remind him of the areas He is not meeting in my life.

All of which I am sure God gets a kick out of, seeing as how He was there and I was not.  But true to form, when I am going through something I know it all, and I feel it my obligation to tell God how He needs to hurry it on up and fix things.

I am sure I am the only one that has gone through this. I am sure that I am the only one who has went through a hardship and feels like God has let me down.

I want to be honest and let all those wonderful Christians out there who feel they are less Christian because they cannot skip through the dandelions when they are on the verge of being evicted, when they have lost a love one, when they have been hated, persecuted, and done wrong; that they are not alone.

 I understand you when people tell you to pray through your hardships and you just want to give a laugh and scream back at them “It’s easy for you to say, your life is perfect!.”

I am sure God has thousands and thousands of years of practice with us people acting and behaving the same way.  So rest assure that your temper tantrum, is not going to phase Him or make Him love you less.

My point is no matter how much I go into my little frenzy and puff my face up like spoiled brat.  I still know God loves me and He will always be there for me.  My attention seeking behavior with God is just that.  Attention seeking.  It may be the wrong way to go about it, but it’s my way of acting out to remind God that I am still here and not to forget about me.


As backwards as that may seem, when you have these little fits, I bet this is the motivation behind them as well.  You want to remind God that you are here, that you are suffering, and you want Him to fix it...Now!

You can never control God or His timing.  And even if you do not feel like jumping for joy on your bad days.  It’s okay.  One thing that you need to understand that God is there with you.  Whenever you are ready to talk, He is there, and He is ready to understand and give you the answers that you seek.

God has not forgotten about you in the midst of you pain.  You have to keep in mind that He sees your future so to Him the mood you are in is just temporary and eventually you will see brighter days and get over it.  Provided that you just stick with Him.  I know that is not the easy answer to your torment.  But it is the true answer.

So whatever it is that you are going through, seek God, and trust Him. Even when it is hard and even when you do not want to.

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Relationships Then Versus Now. What Happened?

As a single Christian woman whenever you feel down about not being in a relationship, I like to look to the Bible.  Believe it or not the Bible has some of the most romantic stories on relationships.

The other day for some reason I was reminded of the story of Jacob and Rachel.  I find it amazing that men in this day and age do not even want to wait to have sex with you past three dates.  But Jacob waited for Rachel for 7 years. 

I think it is a real cultural change from the time of Rachel and Jacob.  Can you imagine, there was Jacob who like Rachel, he went to her father and offered to work for 7 years for free all to have his daughter’s hand in marriage. 

During the 7 years Jacob was just happy being in Rachel's’s presence.  He was happy at the fact that he was able to see her ever day.  He did not try to sneak her around back and sample the goods before the marriage.  He did not try to convince her to give it up because he was working for free.  He was just content in being in her presence.  Even more so, I think Jacob wanted to prove to Rachel’s father that he was a worthy man for his daughter. 

Let’s fast forward this story on how it may go day.  Jacob would see Rachel and ask her to come over his house.  When Rachel comes over he tries to have sex with her and when she refuses he tells her that he is going to marry her one day and he does not understand the big deal.  Jacob says to Rachel, that he is not willing to wait three months to have sex with her let along 7 years!

Rachel gives in has sex with Jacob, Jacob dates Rachel for a few years.  All the while still dating other women.  After year 5 he finally gives Rachel a ring to shut her up about getting married.  Jacob has no intention however in marrying Rachel, he just gave her a ring to pacify her.  And Rachel gladly accepted. 

By the time another 2 years has came around, Jacob has moved on to one of his other girlfriends and Rachel is devastated that she wasted so much of her life.  And Jacob repeats this pattern, with about two more women....at the same time.

How many of you women have seen a friend go through this story?  How many women have went through this story yourselves?  

How many women are wondering why they cannot find someone that is willing to wait and work hard for them just like Jacob did for Rachel.  Well here is a news flash, you can!

When you look at the differences of the stories what did Rachel do different.  Rachel stayed true to herself and she refused to compromise on her beliefs.  Some of this meant no sex before marriage.  This was common during those time, but now when you tell men no sex before marriage you think you were telling them the world was coming to an end. 

If you allow a man to talk you out of your goods before you are ready to give it up, then this should be no man for you. 

I will use myself as an example (read my blog  here on why I became celibate).  I have a child, and I chose to follow what God was telling me to do not to have sex before marriage again.  If you have gone though some of the things I gone through in relationships you would understand my decisions (it is outlined in my book, which you can get here).  

I am not married yet and I often wonder what would men say about the whole celibacy thing since obviously I have a child.  I come to realize that I do not care about what they think.  I care about me.  I care about my values and what I want to do with my body. If the man can’t get with that, then they do not respect my relationship with God and they do not really love me.

You see this is the type of thinking that separates the first Biblical Jacob to the made up new Jacob.  Rachel was very pretty (as it states in the Bible).  I am sure she had her share of men wanting to marry her.  This does not mean that she was going around sleeping with every man that batted and eye at her. 

All the opposite, she maintained her integrity which I am sure made her more desirable to men even more.  

Don’t  you want a Jacob.  Someone who is willing to work for you to show you they are worthy of being your husband and are capable of being a provider.  Someone who is willing to get to know you and not just to get to know the inside of your pants. 

If you are a single Christian women, and you want to see true love stories one ordained by God.  Then read your Bible they have the best ones.  You always learn something from them and come away feeling better.  Also check out my blogs: 

Will The Real Boaz Please Stand Up? 

And 

Is There a Such Thing As the One, God Says So. 

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Being The Single Christian Woman.

There is a trend among single Christian women to end their singleness by any means necessary.  For so many Christian women, being married is the both the next and obvious step to their lives.

As a single Christian woman you life may look something like this:

• Going to the single Christian ministry where it is 10 women to every one man. 
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• Going to Bible study, Church, prayer meetings, visiting other churches all in hopes of meeting a man. 
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• Going through a tedious beauty routine every time you go to church because you never know who you may meet. 
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• Greet every new male member in church in hopes that he may be the one. 

Being a victim of the “preying church man.”  The man that only comes to church to victimize unsuspecting church woman.

Does this sound like you?  How many times has being a single Christian woman taken precedent over any and everything in your life that you forget that God is in control?

How many times have you begged and prayed to God to make a man the one? Or to send a man now or you were going to swear off both church and men all together?

Well here is question you, if you trust God, and feel like He is is control, then why can’t you trust him with this area of your life?

Is being a single woman really the end of the world?

As someone who is 30, I guess I would be considered somewhat of an old maid?  I cannot tell you how many family members, church members, and friends ask me on a regular basis when or if I was going to get married?

I think they are more concerned with my singleness than I am.

Like many single Christian woman I used to be the Christian women that tried dating sites, dating in the church, trying to convert a non church going man into a Christian, trying to force someone to be it, and it all leading to frustration when it failed miserably.

Then I come to learn this lesson.  I cannot force or make anything happen.  I looked at a pattern in my life in which I tried to force relationships and I can openly say that all those relationships sucked, and I really could have gone without them.

The time comes where as a single woman, you ask are you going to put yourself through continual misery trying to find your own man, or are you going to let God find a man for you? (read my blog here in finding the one).

I have come to learn that God’s top priority is not curing your singleness.  So while you are begging for him to bring you a man. He is probably looking at you, thinking that there are so many others things in you life that you need to fix before that happens.

It is not that God does not care about your desire to be married, its just that He is more concerned with the salvation of your soul first.  He wants to make sure that you are in the right place with Him, so that when you get married you eyes never leave him.

You never want to idolize marriage or a man so much that it makes you forget that you are a Christian.  So many times both men and marriage becomes a God to some people, which I am sure makes God mad.  He does not want to be replaced.

This is the key point that many Christian woman are missing.  They are too busy chasing down a man to realize that it is taking them away from God.  If you trust God in all areas of you life, then trust him to bring you a husband too.  Having trust in God and taking a chill pill in your relationship is much better than obsessing about it.  Trust me I know.

If you want to find out how well I know.  I invite you to get my book to learn about all the relationships I was disappointed by and tried to force, before I decided to trust God.  You can read the first two chapters free on Amazon.

“Waiting For a Man After God’s Own Heart” Click below for more info.

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Fashion Forward Friday. Tips and Trick To Buying Affordable Make-up and Jewelry Online.

I am starting something new this week called “Fashion Forward Fridays.”  I wrote a guest post for Comeback mama (click here for it) and it talked about how after I became a single mother I did not have the money or self esteem to look like my old self.

Once I lost the weight and found some cheap go to options for fashion, I quickly found that I did not have to sacrifice how I looked just because I was a single mother.

In this post I would like to address make up and jewelry.  I would love to tell you that I have hundreds if not thousands of dollars to spend in high end cosmetics and jewelry.  But I don’t.  Seeing as how I have bills, mortgage, and private school and all.

I have never been the type that just wants to get high priced stuff.  I have always gone for what I liked over what was high priced, and there is no shame in my game.  I will tell you I got something from the thrift store in a heart beat.

However, jewelry and make up are not so simple, I have chosen to get make up and jewelry from either Amazon or Ebay.  The reason why is because both of this sites have sellers that sell in bulk.

The trick behind getting a deal on Amazon is that there are stores and boutiques that sell jewelry and make up.  Often times they want to make room for the new stock that is coming in.  Therefore they have three options.  They can either throw all the jewelry away and make nothing, put it on the clearance rack and sell it bit by bit, or they can put the mass bulk of it on Amazon and get rid of it in one sweep.

These are the types of deals that you want to go for.  You cannot just go for any deal.  You want to make it a good deal on your part.  So here are some things to look for to make sure you are getting the best deal.

Read the seller reviews.  Often times when you buy in bulk they will not tell you exactly what you are getting, they will only tell you how many pieces.  Some will tell what how many of each piece you will get but not specifically what it looks like (i.e 2 rings, 5 bracelets, etc.) .  But people who have bought from them in the past will take pictures of things they have sent.  Reading the past reviews will allow you to see these pictures and let you determine if you like what you see or not.  This way you know if you want to buy from the seller.

For example, I read a few reviews that said the jewelry was mostly for little girls and they threw it away.  Therefore I knew not to buy  from this seller.

Read the description.  So many people do not get what they want because they do not pay attention to detail in the product description.  Some bulk sales will tell you exactly what you will get such as 5 pairs of earring, 6 bracelets, etc.  Some will say that you will only get one of each item.  This is what you want.

You do not want to have jewelry or make up with 15 of the same exact thing.  If there are one or two on the same thing, then fine you can give the others ones away.  But you do not want to buy a bulk of 50 and get 35 of the same thing.

Also, many sellers will include a picture.  They will say, the items are not exactly what you are getting.  But the pictures will give you an overview of the style of stuff they have so you can determine if you would wear it or not.

 Do the math.  See how much the bulk cost and then divide it by the number of items you get.  This will determine if you are actually getting a deal or not.  The point is to get a deal, you do not want to pay store price for bulk items.  For all of that you can just go to the store.

(All jewelry I have on in each picture featured above where bought on Amazon.  All jewelry was bought in bulk and make up items in bulk or discounted price).

If you are like me a woman on a budget, do not feel you have to look like a homeless hobo.  You Can be pretty on a price.  Check out some of the places I have order my items below.

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Will the Real Boaz Please Stand Up.

It amazes me how whenever you read the Bible that the content can remain true up until this day.  Whenever someone has a question about life or a relationship all they had to do is open up the Bible and get the answer that they seek (TWEET THIS).

I always say that one of my favorite books of the Bible is Ruth.  This is because I feel there are so many hidden messages in this book that we can all learn from.  How many times have women read about the character of Boaz and wish they had a man like that?

There are some Boaz that still exists, but if you are waiting for Boaz, then why are so many of us women settling for a counterfeit.

Let me explain some characteristics of Boaz versus the counterfeit.

Boaz- is the type of man that sees a woman he likes.  His way of proving it, is to see where she is need, make provisions for her, and help her in any way he can without expecting anything in return.

Counterfeit-  The counterfeit does nothing for you.  In fact you are lucky if you can even get him to take you out on a date.  The only thing the counterfeit wants to do is have sex with you or get you drunk and have sex with you.  If you do not want to engage in sex with the counterfeit, he makes you feel like your expectations are too high.

Boaz- The main reason why he respects Ruth is because she is a hard worker.  She has good values and has left her home land to take care of her mother and law.  She has found God and is willing to live a God centered life.

Counterfeit-  The counterfeit does like the woman because she works.  In fact he wants the woman take care of him with her hard earned money.  If he sees that the woman he wants believes in God, he too will fake the funk and pretend that he believes in God.  But as soon as the women tries to live in a Godly way (such as no sex before marriage or have morals), the counterfeit tries to convince her that her morals are outdated and tries to get to bend on what she believes.


Boaz-  He wants his woman to be respected.  When Ruth came to the threshing floor, he made her leave before the sun rose so that no one would think she had done anything inappropriate.

Counterfeit- Wants you to come over late into the night.  Has sex with you and kicks you out when he’s done.  He prefers that you do not spend the night.  If you do, then he is sure to wake you up early in the morning and will tell you to leave.

Boaz-  He is a man of his word.  Once he told Ruth he was going to do something he did not rest until it was done.

Counterfeit-  He is a liar.  He lies about any and everything, just because he can.

Boaz-  As well respected man among everyone.  A hard worker and is responsible with all that he owns.

Counterfeit-  Has no job, no car, and prefers to sit in his woman’s house all day using up everything she has worked hard for.

Now that you have a full painted picture do you see how the Boaz is different from the counterfeit?  How no matter how hard you try you simply cannot make a counterfeit into a Boaz?

Woman have become so accepting of these counterfeits, that now they mascaraed around as the real thing (TWEET THIS).  It is up to you women on what you accept in your life.  You have to be able to tell the real from the fake.  You must be able to turn away the counterfeits in order to get to your Boaz.  This may mean that like Ruth you have to go into the field, work hard, be focused on what you need for you and you household.  This may mean that your focus has to be taken off of a man.


But this is not a bad thing, all this simply means is that you are giving Boaz an opportunity to find you.  Not trying to find a random man and force these attributes on him.

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Being The Perfect Mom

What makes a good mother.?  I think you would be surprised at how many people strive to be the perfect mother and frown upon other women who do not think and act the same way they do.  Many mama controversies consists the stay at home mother versus the working mother.  The home school mother versus the public school mother.  The public school mother versus the private school mother.

I, like so many mothers try to find every way that I can to be a “perfect” mother.  When I look at other mothers doing things that I can’t do or do not have time for I irrationally beat myself up thinking to myself “why can’t I be more like that?”

I have come to learn that there is no definition of a perfect mother.  Each women that is a mother can find perfection in their ways of parenting.  Parenting must fit the style of person that we are, and as long as we are doing the best things for our kids and doing it with out whole heart, then we are the perfect mother.

I have never been the type of mother who goes on play dates.  When my son’s school has evening events as the skating ring, CiCi Pizza, or Chucky Cheese I cannot say that we always go.  I do not volunteer in my son’s classroom.  When my son’s school send home 100 of papers talking about God knows what, I often time throw them away without even reading them.  I do not always iron my son’s clothes and opt for the winkle free setting in the dryer.  During the summer I do not have my son read endlessly every recommended summer reading book.

I play video games with my son, I rough house with him, and my son is a picky eater.  I often cater to his diet by giving him what he wants so I do not have to hear his mouth.  I tried to supplement his lack of diet with vitamins.

Do these things make me a less than perfect mother? For those mother who fix their children all organic food and make every play time into a learning experience, I am sure they are appalled by what they are reading.

Let’s talk about the things I do with my son.  I send him to a Christian private school, I talk to him about God and Jesus.  I teach him resiliency.  I encourage him to think on his own and be his own person, despite what others may think about him. I make my son pay attention in church. I prefer to spend time with my son as oppose to working myself to death and never seeing him.  My son has been in several extracurricular activities such as plays and sports.

Do these things make me a perfect mother?  What about the mothers who do not do these things, does this mean they are bad?



 What I am getting at, is that there are no perfect parenting techniques.  Your techniques depend on you as a parent.  Each parent is different and each child is different.  Your main responsibility as a parent is to raise them well, make sure they are a good person, and give them the tools they need to make it  successfully through life.

Despite whatever short coming other mothers may think I have, me and my son are very close.  He talks to me about anything.  My son was watching cheerleaders dance and he asked me why his penis stood straight up, and I gave him an honest answer.  This is the type of relationships with my son that I strive for.

Some parents may not want to speak to their children about these things.  The only opinion about your parenting that you have to care about is your own.  If you are satisfied with how you are as a parent, then nothing else matters.


I want my son to be a good God fearing man, this is what I instill in him.  I have seen some mother, where I think there parenting techniques just suck.  But hey who am I to judge.  If they want a Lifetime movie on their hands where a child beats them and talks back to them, then by all means that is their battle.

I have come to learn that it is not up to me to say who is a good parent versus who is not.  Unless they ask my opinion or is paying me to teach them parenting, then I keep my mouth shut.  I cannot worry about someone else’s parenting problems.  I cannot enforce my parenting standards on someone else if they feel like they are doing the best they can do.

Some people may have a problem with my parenting.  But as long as my son knows God, knows right from wrong, is respectful, and know that I have no problem spoiling the rod when he steps out of line.  Then I am good.

There are areas that I can improve on my parenting and I seek to contentiously do this.  But am I going to learn perfect parenting by reading 100 parenting books? No.  You learn parenting by going through it.  Sometimes you make mistakes and then you learn from them.  I have stop trying to to impose perfect parenting on myself, because it does not exist and I recommend everyone of you mothers out there do the same.

In case you didn’t know.  I am a single mother.  Some people may consider this imperfect parenting.  In any case read about my parenting and relationships struggled in my new book.  Get it now.

http://christianmommyblogger.com/fellowship-friday-31-blog-hop

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