A few years back when I bought my home, I was making a lot more money. I think this was the closest to be truly blissful, even though I was not blissful at all. I was not struggling, happy I could shop and do all the things I wanted to do without depending on anyone else.
So what was it that made me unhappy?
During that time I was in some weird love triangle with a man at my job, who was also seeing my female boss. She had a habit of flying over the coo-coo’s nest and was three shades of psycho over this man. She made my working life and living HELL, and eventually was able to force me out of my job. If you had read my (book) then you know all about it.
This was the time I bought my home. I was Blissful at doing this, but because of my love triangle and being force out of my job, I almost lost my home (literally) three days before I was supposed to move in. I was blissful when I was able to get my home anyway, but due to the pay cut I have had every since, it has always been a struggle.
So while I was blissful in some areas, other areas where not.
When I had my son I can recall I was blissful. I love my son more than anything can describe. BUT....once again it appears as if my bliss is always interrupted. Even though I love my son, being a single mother is hard. Not to mention that time alone that I spend in my pregnancy due to my son’s father’s being completely and totally uninvolved. And to top it all off, the next six years he spent in prison soon after my son was born, but a damper on my blissfulness. My son had no father for all of that time, plus the DNA test we had to get due to him denying my son (even though they look like twins), the struggle I had from having no help from him, all once again put a damper on my blissfulness.
When I was single (before my son), I was a a drinking party animal. I was blissful during this time because I was happy partying, and dating all of the time. BUT..... This was not true bliss, I did all of these things to cover up the things that were really wrong. I did not want to spend time without myself or talk to my self to figure out what was really wrong. When I was forced to do that, I was faced with a sad version of myself who was not truly happy and did not have a purpose.
During the course of trying to be happy or when I was happy something always went wrong that would turn my life upside down, and I would try to figure out how to be happy again. When I reach the new point of happy, then something else would go wrong and the pattern would repeat over and over again.
This is not going to be a post about be being all depressed telling you how much my life has sucked. It is quite the opposite. Life is life and things are going to go wrong. There is nothing you can do about it but to just accept what is coming your way.
There is something you can do about it. Even though you cannot control your life you can control yourself and your reaction to life. We can chose to be blissful and have happiness despite losing our jobs, our partners cheating on us, losing our homes, being a single parent, being broke, or whatever situation you are going through in your life....you can chose to be happy.
Read these Bible verses with me:
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” Philippians 4:11-12
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5
“Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” 1 Timothy 6:6-8
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Philippians 4:11
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
“And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15
“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10
What do all these verses have in common? What these verses have in common gives a clear explanation as to why I could not find happiness.
You see I was basing my happiness on my job, how much I made, what I had, what I was losing, and what was happening to me. This is the reason why I could not be happy because I was looking at the wrong thing. I was basing my happiness off the wrong thing. Life is going to happen and it is not going to be perfect, if I am waiting for life to be perfect to be happy then sad to say I will be waiting for a very long time.
True happiness comes from within and it comes from God. Once we see, understand, and get this aspect, then we can have happiness in all situations. When you read the Bible do you every wonder in most of the new testament, how Paul can be happy or the disciples can be happy?
I mean let’s be real, they were in jail, getting stone to death, getting beat up, kicked out of countries, being shipped to other countries.....They were really going through it. But when reading the above verses most of them are taken from the new testament from the followers of Christ. They were not living in a mansion on the hill, they life was not in a good place, but they were happy and they were content. Because they knew that true and absolute happiness could never come from things of this world, but keeping their eyes fixed on God and understanding that He is the source of true happiness.
This is a hard concept to grasp, even for me sometimes. But once we get it, we will experience true happiness, no fear, and no worry (See my blogs here and here on having no fear). And this is a level that you want to achieve.