Monday, October 13, 2014

The Single Life a sound off on sex, dating, and the church

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I found this post on Christian Today (click here to view).  These questions were asked to four single Christian women.  When reading the questions I found them to be interesting and wanted to answer them on my own.  I think each single Christian woman has their own view on being single and their own struggle.  I encourage you to view the post listed above to view other women’s answer to these questions as well as to think about your own personal answers to these questions.

Do you struggle with being content in your singleness?

In all honestly I used to.  I used to struggle a lot with being single, so much so that I think it kind of compromised my mental state a little bit.  This is because I was not able to have a realistic point of view on relationships and made the idea of a relationship more than what it was more like an idol.

Now I am content on being single (see my blog here on how I got that way).  I think I have come to learn that I should not desire anything more than I desire God.  I learned that if I am doing what I feel I am called to do in life and with my relationship with God, then I am content with being single.  I learned to be more complete on my own and not expect another person to complete me.  This was a big lesson that I learned and how I got to be  so content with being single.

What do you see as your role in finding a husband?

I do not feel that it is my role to find my husband.  I feel like “he who finds a wife finds a good thing” (see my blog here) not the other way around.  With this being said I do feel there are some things I can do to prepare myself for a husband.  This includes being emotionally stable, knowing myself, and knowing what to recognize in a future husband.  I think preparation is the main role that I have when finding a husband, not necessarily to go out and chase one down. I think that if I am in the right place in my life, my husband will find me.

How do you deal with sexual urges and temptations?

Well a big push for me to fight my sexual urges was when I went through a situation with a man in which I got played out in a big way (see my blog here).  From there on it made me reevaluate what sex was really for and  I got an understanding on how having sex outside of marriage sets me up to be used and abused my men.  Now I try not to put myself in situations where I would be tempted.  Also, I have cut way back on dating. The temptation is not that great when you do not have people around to be tempted by .

How do you keep from feeling isolated, especially at church?

I do not felt isolated at church.  I go to a pretty mixed church.  There are single people and there are married people.  Sometimes people my age or younger announce that they are getting married or I see them getting married , and then I feel a little isolated, but for the most part those situations are very far and few.

As for in my personally life.  I tend to keep myself busy.  I am not busy just for the sake of keeping myself busy so that I do not feel lonely, but I am not doing it for that reason.  I am doing things because I feel that God wants me to do them as well as to further my career and to provide security for my son.

I am getting a PhD, blogging, have a job, and even more.  So I try to keep myself busy so I am do not get into a place where I feel like I am wallowing in self pity about being single.  I keep myself busy so I feel like I am always moving forward.

These are the answers to my question.  I would love to hear your answers as well.